• Biblical Families is not a dating website. It is a forum to discuss issues relating to marriage and the Bible, and to offer guidance and support, not to find a wife. Click here for more information.

Looking for a new church

Poly_submit

Member
Female
With everything going on around me, I have found myself seeking something different.
I was raised in Baptist churches, my stepfather was methodist, I have attended a few pentecostal services and even one time talked my husband into attending a messianic congregation a few years ago, back in OKC.
It was right before and since the last, that I started noticing something. I don't know if any will think anything significant about it, but I started noticing that my day of rest, seems to fall on Saturday.
For years I had just about agonized and felt guilty, that I never could manage a day of rest, on Sunday. Something always seemed to come up. But then I realized that it always seems to happen on Saturday. There wasn't anything I did purposely to make this happen, but that was how things were working out, without any interference on my part.
It has been some time, since I have come to this conclusion, but I have always done my best to submit to the will of my husband.
Now that my husband has decided for divorce, I find myself fully in charge of my spiritual life, with no human interference. I want to make sure I make a good choice, but I find my options are limited.
It's not that we don't have any churches around, there are a lot of them, honestly. And I'm not wanting to offend anyone who attends the different denominations available, I just haven't felt called to them.
I am asking for prayer, a call for the church my family needs and that needs my family. I guess I have a general idea, but I'm asking for direction. I am asking for God to take over for me, to help them find me and me them.
Any who would help me in this quest, I am greatly appreciative.
Thank You.
 
I'll keep in prayer for you on this. May God open doors, whether that is a traditional church or a home-based church. May He grant you an opportunity that matches what you are needing.
 
We switched to keeping a Saturday sabbath while we were still attending Sunday church. It meant we got a true day of rest, then on the first day of the week had all the mad rush of getting a vanful of children to church and back, which is more work than rest... My point is that changing to a Saturday sabbath need not also necessitate a change in Sunday worship. You may find you do both for a while, as an experiment or as a transition. Nowhere does scripture ever say that we should meet with other believers on Sabbath anyway - just that we should do so at some time.

Keep praying. Go visit a few churches, but focus on the smaller ones where you'll actually get to know the people rather than being just faces in a crowd. Some form of fellowship is important particularly since you don't have your husband around to bounce ideas off, fellowship with other Christians ensures there are others looking out for us, supporting us, challenging heretical ideas etc... And as a single mum you'll likely benefit from occasional practical support also.

The denomination is less important than the sincerity of the believers. Just avoid the extremes of heresy (Catholics, Jehovah's Witness, Mormons) and go and visit all the Protestant churches, starting with the smallest ones (for more sincere fellowship), and with those theology most different from the denominations you have attended to date (to force you back to the fundamentals of what the Gospel truly is, as you re-examine things from scripture). They've all got the basic gospel right, encountering differences on other issues will simply drive you back to the Bible. You'd probably be too tempted to just sit comfortably in a pew at a Baptist church, so if there's a small Lutheran or Presbyterian congregation maybe start there - or a Seventh Day Adventist church if you feel particularly strongly about worshipping on Saturday rather than simply having a day of rest then.
 
Last edited:
I definitely have some Food for thought, here.
Thank you for the ideas.
A couple I had thought of, but I hadn't even considered others.
This is why love you guys, I know I can always come here for guidance and good council.
 
Last edited:
My old church was boring and played dirges for church music. There was more emphasis put on what your wore to church and being modest and obedient, than what your mindset was in regards to God and communing with Him. When i left it, or rather excommunicated myself, i thought i was looking for the same "type" of church. But i found a non denominational christian church that has great worship music with a live band. Completely different from what i had known, and i love it. I have felt the Spirit more listening to the messages in those songs the worship pastors select and play for us than most sermons.
 
I suggest finding a Bible Study of people who are serious about digging into the word. The normal order of even a "good" church is to get you through the door and then try to bring you together with others for a Bible study / cell group kind of as an afterthought. If you can find a decent Bible study, you'll develop friendships, you''ll have time in the word and in prayer. That's a home-church and you can skip all the advertising and get to the meat.

You might be amazed at what happens when you just get folks together who are serious about studying the word. The last good one I was in had Nazerines, Baptists, SDA's, Charismatic Episcopalian's and me, most recently in a Messianic temple. It worked and lasted for about 5 years, which is about 2-3 years longer than they normally last due to people moving out, moving on or moving away.

A church is people, not a building.
 
Eristhophanes...
You hit the nail on the head, right there.
Good words.
Thank you.
 
And in only 3 paragraphs! Only two really. I'm impressed! ;)

Now you're going to get it.

I found a diary from 25 years ago, which contains the most epic unintentional poly relationship story ever. Complete with gangbangers and a Celtic wedding theater production orchestrated by a flaming gay theater queen that turned out to be way more real than anyone wanted to admit. A clash of wills, a clash of ideologies and a clash of cultures. And in Southern California nobody even really thought it was strange.
 
I think the more important thing is the balance here. I will never say that I found the perfect balance. The perfect theology. Walk it out perfectly. Or have all the answers.
What I can say is that I live with a more Unified understanding of scripture as old and new then those around me usually.
We should all focus on what the scriptures actually say. But too much of this leaves you legalistic.
And if you only focus on the feel good and the new high of the Ruach HaKodesh (aka holy Spirit ) you become a flake and a stick of dynamite to your own destruction.
And with no compassion, love and empathy you will not be able to connect to anybody and probably are not in Yah all together.


There must, there must, there must! Be a balance.

I Corinthians 13:1-13 ISR98

If I speak with the tongues of men and of messengers, but do not have love, I have become as sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophecy, and know all secrets and all knowledge, and if I have all belief, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am none at all. And if I give out all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I give my body to be burned, but do not have love, I am not profited at all. Love is patient, is kind, love does not envy, love does not boast, is not puffed up, does not behave indecently, does not seek its own, is not provoked, reckons not the evil, does not rejoice over the unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth, it covers all, believes all, expects all, endures all. Love never fails. And whether there be prophecies, they shall be inactive; or tongues, they shall cease; or knowledge, it shall be inactive. For we know in part and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part shall be inactive. When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I thought as a child, I reasoned as a child. But when I became a man, I did away with childish matters. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know, as I also have been known. And now belief, expectation, and love remain – these three. But the greatest of these is love.
 
If u can find one where the leader/pastor doesnt have ties to a theological cemetery sometimes that can be a good lead.
Not sure your location now but if you are in the NE area of OK I would invite you to ours in a pm
 
It's a challenge. The more research you do on your own, the more you actually pay attention to what the Bible says, the less most churches are satisfying places. Praying for guidance.
That is sooo true... You feel uncomfortable having to compromise truth for the sake of relationship.
 
Back
Top