A Man in this day and age.

[Nikud]

We live in a world that has a skewed belief of what a Man is suppose to be. Today a man is judged by how successful he is in buisness, how large his home is, how nice his car is, how educated he is, and how wealthy he is just to name the top 5. None of these things testify to the character of a man. The "male "character traits glorified in this world are the same ones used to to condemn him. The one I want to talk about first is Aggresssion.

Aggression: We all know a least one Uber-agro Alpha male. You know the guy who is so competitive in all things that any type of correction is taken as a personal atttack. The guy who finds his self worth in Emasculating other men.

We are told to be bold yet humble.

Joshua 1:9

Yes, be bold and strong! Banish fear and doubt! For remember,
the L-rd your G-d is with you wherever you go.”

Luke 14:11

"everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”


The uber-agro alpha is weak and insecure. He is unable to be bold. An only those who are strong and bold can humble themselves. As men we all have these qusetions in common. Am I strong enough, can I lead, do I have what it takes, am I a real man? We first seek the answers to the questions from our fathers, uncles and grandfathers. If we don't get the answers from them because they are to busy, not there, or never got the answers for themselves, we then look to other Male role models in our lives. Unfortunately not all role models are good role models. This failure to get the validation we need causes wounds in our souls that we we try to compensate for. We take on personas to mask our own perceived weaknesses. In doing this we deny our selves the chance to glorify the L-rd buy allowing Him to heal us and answer those questions.

He has already given us the answers and shown us how to be real man, a G-d fearing man.

1 Samuel 16:7

“The L-rd does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the L-rd looks at the heart.”

1. A G-d fearing man commits to following a greater authority.

Proverbs 3:6

In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths

2. He commits to sacrifice all else in the shadow of discipleship.

Ephesians 5:1-2,

“Therefore be imitators of G-d as dear children. And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to G-d for a sweet-smelling aroma.”

3. He commits to joyful obedience.

Romans 5:19

For as by one man's disobedience many were made sinners, so by the obedience of one shall many be made righteous.

4. He commits to spiritual discipline.

Psalm 5:3

My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O L-RD; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up

5. He commits to keep his word of truth.

Ecclesiastes 5:2

Don’t make rash promises, and don’t be hasty in bringing matters before G-d. After all, G-d is in heaven, and you are here on earth. So let your words be few.

6. He commits to carry out G-d’s mission.

Matthew 28:19-20

Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age

7. He commits to love others faithfully.

John 13:34-35

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another

What are other examples of being a G-d fearing man?

What are we as men doing in this day and age that says we are not G-d fearing men?

How are we validating those who look up to us for those answers?

 

[Verifyveritas76]

Well done. Great thoughts

 

[rustywest4]

Blessings to you Sir Kevin the Great! Awesome stuff! I am encouraged this morning. Thanks bro!

 

[Nikud]

Ambition: a strong desire to do or to achieve something, typically requiring determination and hard work.

This used to be seen as respected masculine trait.

Proverbs 22:29

Do you see a man skillful in his work? He will stand before kings; he will not stand before obscure men

Now it is generally identified with negative traits it can inspire such as greed, dishonesty and a prideful nature.

Habakkuk 2:5

"Furthermore, wine betrays the haughty man, So that he does not stay at home He enlarges his appetite like Sheol, And he is like death, never satisfied. He also gathers to himself all nations And collects to himself all peoples"

Men should be ambitious. As G-d fearing men when we succeed in different aspects of our lives it is important that we do so in a manner that glorifies the L-rd and praises him for our success.

2 Chronicles 1:11-12

G-d said to Solomon, "Because you had this in mind, and did not ask for riches, wealth or honor, or the life of those who hate you, nor have you even asked for long life, but you have asked for yourself wisdom and knowledge that you may rule My people over whom I have made you king, wisdom and knowledge have been granted to you. And I will give you riches and wealth and honor, such as none of the kings who were before you has possessed nor those who will come after you

The world needs men, G-d fearing men to stand up and lead by example. To hold ourselves accountable.

 

[Verifyveritas76]

IMHO. The biggest obstacle to a man being able to lead is when he is not 'under authority' himself.

When his focus is on pleasing his master, it sets an example for all those entrusted to his authority as well as a primary vision and direction for his entourage.

 

[Nikud]

IMHO. The biggest obstacle to a man being able to lead is when he is not 'under authority' himself.

When his focus is on pleasing his master, it sets an example for all those entrusted to his authority as well as a primary vision and direction for his entourage.

I couldnt agree more. A man does not truly have authority unless he also submits to authority. If a man is not 'under authority', how can he possibly expect those he is supposed Shepard to follow. He sets a poor example.

Being head is not our right; it’s our responsibility. The truth is we can’t possibly do this job correctly unless we’re depending on G-d, and trying to do it without obedience to Him is going to end badly.

 

[rustywest4]

Firstly... you guys all rock and this group is always very encouraging. Seeing men be real men is priceless!

I just wanted to add a thought. "Surrender" is generally understood as a wimpy and not manly thing. However... surrendering our will to His is what we were born to do... Kneeling to His Lordship and living for His glory instead of our own... That's the calling of a man that He will be faithful to equip as a leader!

 

[Nikud]

I just wanted to add a thought. "Surrender" is generally understood as a wimpy and not manly thing. However... surrendering our will to His is what we were born to do... Kneeling to His Lordship and living for His glory instead of our own... That's the calling of a man that He will be faithful to equip as a leader!

Oh my brother testify.
It takes true strength to surrender.

 

[Mojo]

Firstly... you guys all rock and this group is always very encouraging. Seeing men be real men is priceless!

I just wanted to add a thought. "Surrender" is generally understood as a wimpy and not manly thing. However... surrendering our will to His is what we were born to do... Kneeling to His Lordship and living for His glory instead of our own... That's the calling of a man that He will be faithful to equip as a leader!

Can I get an amen!!

 

[Nikud]

Can I get an amen!!

Amen

When we Surrender to our L-rd and Master. We know we are covered by grace because Christ took accountability for us and our sins. Then paid the price and bought our lives.

Accountability: the fact or condition of being accountable; responsibility.

Luke 12:48

but the one who did not know it, and committed deeds worthy of a flogging, will receive but few From everyone who has been given much, much will be required; and to whom they entrusted much, of him they will ask all the more

G-d loves and trust us enough to give us his daughters to love and guide. It's more than being responsible to provide for your families needs. When we lead we are accountable for how we lead and those who follow us. If we lead them down a wrong path everything they do is on us. When we fail to lead we are accountable for the failures of those we were supposed to be leading. They are still responsible for their actions but so are we.

 

[Nikud]

Effeminatiy: 1 : having feminine qualities untypical of a man : not manly in appearance or manner. 2 : marked by an unbecoming delicacy or overrefinement.

Genisis 1:27
So G-d created man in his own image, in the image of G-d he created him; male and female he created them.

G-d created us the way he needed us to be. What benefit does it serve His Kindom to act in ways contradictory to the purpose we were made for? True a man is more than the way he looks and acts, but for a man to emulate a woman is a direct challange to G-ds Authority. An “effeminate” man rejects his masculinity. He has chosen to live as a “soft and delicate” person, rather than embrace His G-d-given identity as a man. He takes on the characteristics of a female and relates to other males much like women do. How can an Effeminate man lead his family assuming he has one in a righteous manner if he is in rebellion against the very role G-d chose for him?

Society has become so warped and twisted against anything manly that it now pushes a gender neutral or effeminate idea of what a man should look like. Each time we allow society to redefine what is acceptable for a man to look like or act like in any small way we fall farther from G-ds grand design. I'm not talking about wearing pink, which btw up till about 200 years or so ago was a masculine color. I speaking about mimicking the daughters of Eve in appearance.

 

[rustywest4]

Preach it Pastor Kevin:bible:... love it when you talk all manly and such @Kevin ! Plus that beard radiates with authority... A man mane to be feared and respected.

 

[The Revolting Man]

Preach it Pastor Kevin:bible:... love it when you talk all manly and such @Kevin ! Plus that beard radiates with authority... A man mane to be feared and respected.

Lol, he wants to be called Captain Goodbeard. I think we should come up with something a little more blood curdling than that.

 

[rustywest4]

Lol, he wants to be called Captain Goodbeard. I think we should come up with something a little more blood curdling than that.

Oh yea! Now we're talking! ... hmmmm, something more "blood curdling" huh...

Something like.... ...
"Captain BLOODBEARD"!!!! ... but it must be uttered with a low, death metal, guttural tone!

#vikingstatus

 

[Mojo]

I'm not trying to be contrarian or a relativist, but how would you define "emulating a woman"? It's a sincere question.

I am aware that some definitions/signs of masculinity are cultural, not universal. Which ones would you ascribe as universal (across cultures)?

 

[Nikud]

I'm not trying to be contrarian or a relativist, but how would you define "emulating a woman"? It's a sincere question.

There's two parts to question what is emulating a womsn. First and easiest to define is physical emulation. This is when a man is deliberately trying to look feminine. It could be from purposefully abstaining from exercise or physical labor to avoid bulking up, choosing clothing that tries to imitate the female form, wearing make up and spending more time in the mirror than in prayer. The second part of emulating women is the imitating of feminine character traits. Women consistently show higher Neuroticism, ( a high neuroticism score means women are more likely than average to be moody and to experience such feelings as anxiety, worry, fear, anger, frustration, envy, jealousy, guilt, depressed mood, and loneliness), agreeableness, warmth (an extraversion facet) and openness to feelings. While men often report higher assertiveness (a facet of extraversion) and openness to ideas, Machiavellianism; men who score high on this dimension are emotionally cool; this allows them to detach from others as well as values, and act egoistically rather than driven by affect, empathy. G-d gave us different tools to handle diffrent problems. A plumber and a electrician are going to have some tools in common but use the differently. There going to have speciality tools that only they're going to use. A plumber doesn't need an ohm meter, unless he's pretending to be an electrician. The same goes for when a man is focusing on the shared character traits and denying his speciality traits.


EDIT: I want to clarify a statement I made in another thread. http://www.biblicalfamilies.org/forum/threads/how-likeable-are-you.13589/

Do you think lack of deep empathy in most men benefits them in wartime situations? You can't kill and destroy if you go around empathizing and emoting all the time.

No, a lack of empathy in wartime is a lot more destructive. After the killings done and you come home, they tell you to leave it all behind your a civilian now. Then you got one of three choices. Remain an uncaring person who is unable to form meaningful realationships. Allow yourself to feel again

It's the Machiavellianic traits that allow men to do the unpleasent things we are suppose to do for the greater good. Even then a man should have empathy. Look at G-ds command to slaughter the Canaanites. If He didn't make us with the capability to shut off then it would have been cruel for Him to command it. If He didn't give us empathy then there would no way to comeback from those actions to full fill the other roles He has for us.

 

[Nikud]

I am aware that some definitions/signs of masculinity are cultural, not universal. Which ones would you ascribe as universal (across cultures)?

Culture has always played a major role in defining Masculinity. There are a few that had been prevaliant through all cultures in one form or another.

Accountability, Strength (not just physical but emotional aswell), decisiveness, aggressiveness, ambition, the drive to be a provider, Honor (more so in the Bushido sense than the modern sense)

 

[Mojo]

@Kevin
Thanks for the responses.

 

[IshChayil]

We live in a world that has a skewed belief of what a Man is suppose to be. Today a man is judged by how successful he is in buisness, how large his home is, how nice his car is, how educated he is, and how wealthy he is just to name the top 5. None of these things testify to the character of a man. The "male "character traits glorified in this world are the same ones used to to condemn him. The one I want to talk about first is Aggresssion.

Aggression: We all know a least one Uber-agro Alpha male. You know the guy who is so competitive in all things that any type of correction is taken as a personal atttack. The guy who finds his self worth in Emasculating other men.

We are told to be bold yet humble.

Joshua 1:9

Yes, be bold and strong! Banish fear and doubt! For remember,
the L-rd your G-d is with you wherever you go.”

Luke 14:11

"everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”


The uber-agro alpha is weak and insecure. He is unable to be bold. An only those who are strong and bold can humble themselves. As men we all have these qusetions in common. Am I strong enough, can I lead, do I have what it takes, am I a real man? We first seek the answers to the questions from our fathers, uncles and grandfathers. If we don't get the answers from them because they are to busy, not there, or never got the answers for themselves, we then look to other Male role models in our lives. Unfortunately not all role models are good role models. This failure to get the validation we need causes wounds in our souls that we we try to compensate for. We take on personas to mask our own perceived weaknesses. In doing this we deny our selves the chance to glorify the L-rd buy allowing Him to heal us and answer those questions.

He has already given us the answers and shown us how to be real man, a G-d fearing man.

1 Samuel 16:7

“The L-rd does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the L-rd looks at the heart.”

1. A G-d fearing man commits to following a greater authority.

Proverbs 3:6

In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths

2. He commits to sacrifice all else in the shadow of discipleship.

Ephesians 5:1-2,

“Therefore be imitators of G-d as dear children. And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to G-d for a sweet-smelling aroma.”

3. He commits to joyful obedience.

Romans 5:19

For as by one man's disobedience many were made sinners, so by the obedience of one shall many be made righteous.

4. He commits to spiritual discipline.

Psalm 5:3

My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O L-RD; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up

5. He commits to keep his word of truth.

Ecclesiastes 5:2

Don’t make rash promises, and don’t be hasty in bringing matters before G-d. After all, G-d is in heaven, and you are here on earth. So let your words be few.

6. He commits to carry out G-d’s mission.

Matthew 28:19-20

Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age

7. He commits to love others faithfully.

John 13:34-35

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another

What are other examples of being a G-d fearing man?

What are we as men doing in this day and age that says we are not G-d fearing men?

How are we validating those who look up to us for those answers?

Chokhmah חכמה i.e. wisdom. Wisdom in Hebrew, however is not exactly sofiah, wisdom in Greek (and the name of the godess in Gnosticism).

Chokhmah means something like "the ability to make the right choice".

So while we are talking about traits of a righteous man, what is it which leads to Chokhmah?
Proverbs begins "reishit chokhmah yirat Hashem" the beginning of wisdom, is fear of Hashem. So that even a young man may surpass us all in wisdom if he has continued in righteous fear of our maker.

 

[Verifyveritas76]

Chokhmah חכמה i.e. wisdom. Wisdom in Hebrew, however is not exactly sofiah, wisdom in Greek (and the name of the godess in Gnosticism).

Chokhmah means something like "the ability to make the right choice".

So while we are talking about traits of a righteous man, what is it which leads to Chokhmah?
Proverbs begins "reishit chokhmah yirat Hashem" the beginning of wisdom, is fear of Hashem. So that even a young man may surpass us all in wisdom if he has continued in righteous fear of our maker.

Reminds me of David. I have more understanding than all my teachers: for thy testimonies are my meditation.
I understand more than the ancients, because I keep thy precepts.