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Any Michiganders?

D

Dogmaticmike

New Member
Hello everyone. Just signed up today and I have a million questions, comments and concerns.

I’ll start off slow. My name is Michael, my wife and I have 11 great years behind us and many more to come. We have 3 beautiful children that the Lord has blessed us with. We live a very biblical life, home school the kids. She is a stay at home wife, and i just work till I drop to make sure there is meat on the table.

We don’t fight, or drink, (I smoke e-cigarettes, forgive me habit from the Marine days). I have a Masters in biblical studies, she has a BFA in music. We are doing really well in life. Almost zero debt, 2 cars, and a beautiful home.

Something is missing, my wife’s life was a mess, before we got together. She had loads of debt, no job, no direct. With the Lords love and leadership, he helped me guide her down a better path. She will be the first to say her life is 1000x better today then before we were together, as mine is also.

But i feel like I can do more. I want to help build another person up, and bring them into my family. I’ve brought up the idea of a sister wife to her, and her eyes rolled and she told me to make friends that needed help, we are not getting a sister wife. This conversation has happened a dozen times, she gets irritated, but not mad.

I know I should be happy where i am at and drop it. My wife is perfect and beautiful, and smart, and she is just killing it on the home front.

Butttt, More is sometimes better. And I feel like I have enough in the tank to give to another person still. And I want to. Jesus didn’t come to save one person, why can’t i lead and help 2 women (horrible analogy, but let it slide).

Is there any one in south eastern Michigan, or close enough by that we could meet up, and have a pair of sister wives talk to my wife. You’ll love her, she knows here bible, full of fire and brimstone, and loaded with pink glitter at the same time.

I think the “sharing” thing is a mental block, and I’ve tried talking to her to many times she no longer wants to hear my opinion. Maybe i can have her talk to some one that lives this life style, and will listen to them once? Even once.

If it’s going to be a wedge between us then I’ll live with the one wife the Lord has given me, and be more then happy, but I truly feel like there is more for me to offer another person.

Sorry tried to keep it short.
 
Great to get to know you a little, welcome to the group!
 
Welcome from Texas. I am originally from Michigan. There are a lot of ladies that could provide your wife counsel. My wife, @MsPurple1 has been through it and wouldn't mind messaging your wife with advice or just a friendly ear to listen.
 
I'm not in Michigan. My sisterwife of the last 15 months thinks that the blessing this can be to a single mom like her is not talked about enough.

If your wife can get past that mental road block... having a friend on this level of intimacy is pretty amazing! (We aren't bi here)
You get someone that you can build a relationship with that is commited to the same man and loves your children too!

It is a major adjustment in thinking though....and it changes everything!

We had three kids when we first came to this idea.....we had nine and the baby was 4 before the right lady came along.

Approach this like a marathon, not a sprint. Give your wife lots of time to wrap her mind around it....without making her feel pressured.

Welcome!
 
Joleneakamama said:
I'm not in Michigan. My sisterwife of the last 15 months thinks that the blessing this can be to a single mom like her is not talked about enough.

If your wife can get past that mental road block... having a friend on this level of intimacy is pretty amazing! (We aren't bi here)
You get someone that you can build a relationship with that is commited to the same man and loves your children too!

It is a major adjustment in thinking though....and it changes everything!

We had three kids when we first came to this idea.....we had nine and the baby was 4 before the right lady came along.

Approach this like a marathon, not a sprint. Give your wife lots of time to wrap her mind around it....without making her feel pressured.

Welcome!
Click to expand...
Thank you for your reply. This is kind of what I’m feeling I need to do. I’m not looking for the 18 year old virgin, I would rather find a single mother, widow, divorced mom, that is in a tight spot, and my wife and I can help lift her up, and she can add to the love in our house. Show her the love and blessing that we have. If more good honest men (real men) where to take on second wife, that was a single mom, or divorced with a kid or two, in a generation or three this country would be a different place.

Plus i’m 9 years older then my wife, chances are i’ll be gone from this world years before here, I’ll rest easier knowing that she has a best friend to help her out and be there for her.
 
Welcome!
 
Dogmaticmike said:
Thank you for your reply. This is kind of what I’m feeling I need to do. I’m not looking for the 18 year old virgin, I would rather find a single mother, widow, divorced mom, that is in a tight spot, and my wife and I can help lift her up, and she can add to the love in our house. Show her the love and blessing that we have. If more good honest men (real men) where to take on second wife, that was a single mom, or divorced with a kid or two, in a generation or three this country would be a different place.

Plus i’m 9 years older then my wife, chances are i’ll be gone from this world years before here, I’ll rest easier knowing that she has a best friend to help her out and be there for her.
Click to expand...
WELCOME!
 
Welcome Mike, I'm also 9 years older than my wife. Best advice I can give is to take it slow

Slow is smooth, smooth is fast.

The primary thing I can tell you is take it easy and work on yourself first. Your masculinity and headship over your household needs to be elevated.
That's what I worked on, and it was less than a year (from serious discussion.. 1 month) before my wife was making suggestions for who would make a better choice among the options before me. But she's not a typical woman, and I had done years of work prior to that to build myself, become excellent, be the head of my household, lead her and be dominant in my role as husband.

That's not to say I was excellent, or that I am currently excellent because I'm not. But I can guarantee you have a lot of work to do before you're ready brother. So take it easy, stop talking about it with her, get incredibly focused on your fitness, and financial success.

Here's the deal. Any woman is going to be more attracted to a financially stable and physically imposing dangerous man. There is zero to lose when it comes to focusing on those things.

And welcome to Biblical Families!
 
MemeFan said:
Far better it would be for culture to change so that those you want to help stop being created.
Click to expand...
100% agreed. It would be better if more men were real men, and took care of their families. If men in our culture were doing the right thing this wouldn’t be a desire. But i know and see so many women trying to raise 2-3 kids alone, with absent fathers. Makes me think I have the strength to do something. Yeah i could toss money at the problem, but the kids are not going to learn what a real relationship is, and the mother isn’t going to feel love like she would in a marriage.
 
NickF said:
Welcome Mike, I'm also 9 years older than my wife. Best advice I can give is to take it slow

Slow is smooth, smooth is fast.

The primary thing I can tell you is take it easy and work on yourself first. Your masculinity and headship over your household needs to be elevated.
That's what I worked on, and it was less than a year (from serious discussion.. 1 month) before my wife was making suggestions for who would make a better choice among the options before me. But she's not a typical woman, and I had done years of work prior to that to build myself, become excellent, be the head of my household, lead her and be dominant in my role as husband.

That's not to say I was excellent, or that I am currently excellent because I'm not. But I can guarantee you have a lot of work to do before you're ready brother. So take it easy, stop talking about it with her, get incredibly focused on your fitness, and financial success.

Here's the deal. Any woman is going to be more attracted to a financially stable and physically imposing dangerous man. There is zero to lose when it comes to focusing on those things.

And welcome to Biblical Families!
Click to expand...
Thank you for the advice, been taking things slow, only really bringing it up about once a month. As far as being a perfect man, none of us are, just trying a little more each day. I am financially stable, i do very well for myself and family. Physical, i am not what i was 20 years ago, but a dangerous man none the less. Former marine, 6’4 240lbs, my wife and kids know they are safe around me. I’ve matured greatly in the past few years. Hitting 40 this year was a major mile stone, no more guessing what i want in life, or how to get it, I see things allot clearer then i did in my youth (guessing I’ll look when i’m 60 and laugh at 40 y/o me). No this isn’t a mid life crisis move, i brought it up to my wife 5 years ago, when we were neck deep in bottles and diapers. Things have slowed down in life, and i’ve gotten a promotion at work, and about to get another. I feel like i have more to give, God has blessed me with so much, and I believe i could help out another person by bringing them under my protection. This isn’t even a physical want, my wife is enough in that department. This is more knight in shinning armor want on my part. I know dozens of single moms, and they all struggle. If good men stepped up and took on more responsibilities, and raised those kids right, the need for second wives might not be there 100 years from now.
 
Dogmaticmike said:
, been taking things slow, only really bringing it up about once a month.
Click to expand...

I took the exact opposite approach and it worked out great for us. I brought this topic up frequently, more than once a week, we studied our Bibles together on this topic, and she responded to God's word. It took her less than 6 months to go from no way to let me help you find a wife.
 
Dogmaticmike said:
Hello everyone. Just signed up today and I have a million questions, comments and concerns.

I’ll start off slow. My name is Michael, my wife and I have 11 great years behind us and many more to come. We have 3 beautiful children that the Lord has blessed us with. We live a very biblical life, home school the kids. She is a stay at home wife, and i just work till I drop to make sure there is meat on the table.

We don’t fight, or drink, (I smoke e-cigarettes, forgive me habit from the Marine days). I have a Masters in biblical studies, she has a BFA in music. We are doing really well in life. Almost zero debt, 2 cars, and a beautiful home.

Something is missing, my wife’s life was a mess, before we got together. She had loads of debt, no job, no direct. With the Lords love and leadership, he helped me guide her down a better path. She will be the first to say her life is 1000x better today then before we were together, as mine is also.

But i feel like I can do more. I want to help build another person up, and bring them into my family. I’ve brought up the idea of a sister wife to her, and her eyes rolled and she told me to make friends that needed help, we are not getting a sister wife. This conversation has happened a dozen times, she gets irritated, but not mad.

I know I should be happy where i am at and drop it. My wife is perfect and beautiful, and smart, and she is just killing it on the home front.

Butttt, More is sometimes better. And I feel like I have enough in the tank to give to another person still. And I want to. Jesus didn’t come to save one person, why can’t i lead and help 2 women (horrible analogy, but let it slide).

Is there any one in south eastern Michigan, or close enough by that we could meet up, and have a pair of sister wives talk to my wife. You’ll love her, she knows here bible, full of fire and brimstone, and loaded with pink glitter at the same time.

I think the “sharing” thing is a mental block, and I’ve tried talking to her to many times she no longer wants to hear my opinion. Maybe i can have her talk to some one that lives this life style, and will listen to them once? Even once.

If it’s going to be a wedge between us then I’ll live with the one wife the Lord has given me, and be more then happy, but I truly feel like there is more for me to offer another person.

Sorry tried to keep it short.
Click to expand...
Welcome!
 
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