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Can Lightening Strike Twice?

Sevensins

New Member
Consider me extremely nuts. My wife has waited twenty-two years for me to find the Grace of God and become saved. She is a true living angel married to a deranged lunatic battling her 24 7 about her crazy religious beliefs. Praise God for giving me such a women. She has spoken to me about PM and I hadn't really given it any thought until recently. Now that I have been looking in to PM the constant question that keeps popping in my head is, am I spoiled with my wife now that no others will be a good fit to our relationship? So often it seems like men marry a second wife and there is complete chaos with children from a prior marriage, ex husband trouble etc. We really want an addition to our family that we both would get along with not me introducing her to someone she doesn't like, doesn't know. I really feel finding this second wife should be joint effort and she is very receptive of this plan. Is it rude to only pursue a women that would be that fit to us? Ultimately the best thing that could happen is being in a PM where if anyone of the family was to pass the other two could go through the grieving together and continue to live as a family. We would never want two separate homes. We agree a family lives under one roof.

It this wrong to think this way? Or shouldn't we live that way?

Seven
 
It is my understanding that it is fairly common for the first wife or a sister wife to actually find an additional wife and introduce her to her husband. She will likely pull from her friends and acquaintances that she already has a relationship with. That is not always the case, but surely there is nothing wrong with that situation. I think it would be best for everyone to agree upon any additions to the family. There are and have been situations where the man has chosen another wife without his wife's/wives approval, but that tends to create animosity between them which defeats the purpose of building your family. The wives should not feel that they are competing with each other, but complimenting each other.

I would recommend that everyone live under one roof if there is adequate room and the desire to do so.
 
Is it sane to look for a woman that doesn't fit with your family? :)

Searching will take time, but if you keep looking patiently you'll probably find someone who fits. She probably won't be like your first wife, but she ought to be of similar quality.

One house seems to be the best by far as far as I can see. That sounds like good aspirations. God bless your search.
 
it is a myth that lightning never strikes the same place twice.

having said that, in the extremely unlikely event that you found another that is just like your wife it may work out to be a disapointment for all involved. most people are not mirror images of their best friend. they are complimentary.

and shucks, bud, i have met your wife. sit back in your easy chair, study something edifying and turn her loose! she will probably bring someone back who is a better fit than what you will find on your own! ;)
after all, it was her idea first. empower her to pick out her own sis.
 
My only word of caution to you, and to all of us in general, is to make sure we are focused on growing in our knowledge and exercise of the grace of God. As we go about seeking to share Christ with others and serving others God will providentially handle the rest.

I've seen more men than I care to see (and I'm not saying this is you but just offering general teaching for this) latch on to this idea of seeking a wife and it consumes them and they forget about balance in their life. I've seen men become so enamored with the goal of having a wife that they discard the work and goal of serving people in Christ. I've seen way too many run, jump, and dive into this quest with full throttle down seeking to gain a wife. In many of these cases their rush and impatience led to dismay, trouble, and disharmony among their lives.

A wise ole man once said (and I hope and pray this is not too crass for a public forum): "if you let the small head overtake the larger head you can expect dread." Part of acting like a real man, something Christ was and something Paul commanded the men in Corinth to be (1 Cor. 16:13), is being in control of ourselves. Paul even once said, "I will not let anything/anyone master me." In Romans he said: "For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace" (6:14). Any desire to dominates us, controls us, and drives us instead of being in control of ourselves by the power of the Spirit is a sin because we are out of control, out of order.

Over the years I have seen it too often. Men who are consumed and driven by sexual desire instead of a cool headed missional desire wind up taking a woman unto themselves with haste before the woman is truly on board with the man's purpose and mission in life. The man sets the tone for the rest of the family. If he is not truly sold out to the Great Commission of Christ then his mate will not be either, and then everyone is off track and without the right perspective.

Our focus as believers in the Lord must be first to share the highest truth to as many people as we can, either through word or through physical service, which is Christ's unconditional love which liberates from sin. As we share, either in word or deed, God will by his sovereign hand guide all things pertaining to the family.

Matthew 6:33 says it best: "Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things [life's essentials] will be given to you." If you will become consumed in the work of Christian service then Christ will be consumed in meeting what you need to fulfill his plan and work for you.

Psalm 37:3-5 applies: "Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this." Proverbs 16:3 "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed."

The desire for a wife is a good thing. But I always like to test a man's heart to see what is he more interested in. Is the heart more eager to fulfill the sexual drive or does the drive to see people come to know Christ and to be in a right relationship with him have an equal or higher drive in the man? Both desires are good, but what I find is that some men (not saying you as I'm just giving a general guide here) will have a deeper urge to fulfill their sexual drive that is higher and more urgent than their desire to see people saved, coming to know Christ, and living in a right relationship with Christ. When that is discovered it is clear that a man is out of balance.

What I wish would happen, at the least, is to see a new generation of men stand up who are as passionate about seeing men and women born again, and then in service for Christ as they are about having a sexual desire fulfilled. We could experience a true revival across this blessed nation if men would seek the heart of the Savior to such a degree that at least the two desires were on equal standing. What if a man were thinking about getting people into the kingdom and in right relationship with the Lord as often as they think about sex each minute or within each day? What if the thoughts were equal? What if a man's first thought when he saw any person, male or female, was: "I wonder if they know the Lord and if they will be with me in heaven?"

Just some food for thought and something to consider. And, no, I don't always live up to that standard myself but I'm certainly pursuing it more and more with each day I live. Making a lady a part of my physical family is good. But bringing someone into the eternal family takes priority, and from what I have seen in the past, those men who make their first order of business the work of the gospel God will normally bring to them a good woman to help them fulfill this passion. In other words: "If you Fulfill the Major Mission You'll Also Accomplish the Other Mission in the Process."

So, yes, Lightening Can Strike Twice, and for those out laboring in the field where the harvest is plentiful for souls, they are more likely to be caught by the lightening (Luke 10:2). But, as our Lord so well said, the laborers then, and even today, are still so few. My prayer is that more and more men will get as excited about winning people to Christ and making disciples as they do about mating with a woman. If we could get the two at least on the same level with one another we could turn the nation upside down for the name of Christ and along the way we'd have all of our other needs met along the way.
 
I think it is the man's decision, but I think a wife makes an excellent chaperone. I think it is the man's decision, but he would be wise to get the opinion of the wife.
If you can not talk about it then it will not work. I may be rambling off topic. It is getting pretty late. I really should go to bed. On the other hand I do not have to get up early so maybe I will keep going.
 
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