Hi Ladies, Can I just ask how you all came out? Have you? We have told all our adult kids and some of our gr'kids (at least the older/teenage ones) and thankfully everyone is okay with it. Hubby's parents have passed so they aren't an issue however he does have siblings who may or may not be okay with our decision. I've told my parents and SW has told hers. They've all had questions but who wouldn't? The 3 of us are taking a week long vacation starting this coming Saturday. We're looking forward to being ourselves, not having to hide anything or one of us not having to be just the others friend. How do you all handle it? How do you answer the inevitable questions that come up? I'll keep y'all posted and let ya know how things work out for us next week.
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Coming Out
- Thread starter melmacrhon
- Start date
Telling family and friends is a unique challenge. Everyone's family, and friends, are different. Regarding family, my advice would be to tell them sooner than later. My experience is that most people need time to absorb and process this mind blowing information. So, the sooner that process is started then the sooner it will come to the final conclusion and thus you moving on with life with this person. The final conclusion might not be in your favor but at least you know where you stand and can work from there. Our families, had varying degrees of reactions, as you might guess. Some were willing to talk with us and be with us from the beginning even if they didn't fully understand, where others took years to be more "accepting". For example, I could visit my sister's family but not talk about my SW or her kids, only my son because my sister didn't want to explain my "issue" to her 8 and 10 year old children. That went on for several years of occasional visiting (we lived on opposite sides of the country) but then eventually I had to tell her I was not going to do that anymore and that she could tell her children and allow me to talk about my whole family or I couldn't come and visit her anymore. She chose to tell them and even let one of them come for a visit to my home. But it took many more years for her to be willing to visit my home and meet my SW and her kids, about 15 years. About a year later, to my amazement, she and her husband invited the whole family for dinner to their home when we were traveling near them. I was a total wreak the whole visit! lol I was so nervous and was just waiting for something negative to be said. It was a lovely visit and was a miracle for me in many ways. She is still not happy I have chosen this life but she tries to be as understanding, at least to my face, as she can be.
If you consider it a master class in relationships and communication skills, then you will do fine.
If you consider it a master class in relationships and communication skills, then you will do fine.
I finally hinted to my mother today when she came to visit that it was a " sister wives" situation. She has never met my husband and I really do not relish introducing him to her, because my mother is a racist. My husband is East Indian and she has made disparging remarks about people from that type of the world. This was the first day that she had spent more than 15 minutes in my current home. She seemed impressed that I had " done well" for myself materialistically..