That's just a convoluted way of making the husband the bad guy for not letting his wife do what she 'feels' she should do. Feelings are not God.
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That's just a convoluted way of making the husband the bad guy for not letting his wife do what she 'feels' she should do. Feelings are not God.
Triple Like ^^^^^^^^^
Especially true, that latter part.
Doing like me and my fiancee. Only being together when another person is in the room. We just talk like friends. No kissing or holding hands. We won't get passed that, until our wedding night, when we are united in an eternal union, that'll exist upstairs. My virginity and first kiss belongs to only my wife.
I'm amazed at how annoyed my hubby can get just thinking about the guy that got my first kiss. In contrast, I am not bothered at all that I was not the first girl he kissed. Ah the differences between men and women.
I appreciate that neither of us had other "relationships" (modern term for sexual partners usually) before each other because we were, and are, serious about life.
In my limited experience, the physical part of the relationship tends to go one way fast. It is best to only pursue a relationship that you believe has a future, but how you go about that is a personal choice.
I have a cousin who's first kiss was at the alter. After years of marriage and 7 children she left her hubby to continue the "swinging" he got them involved in.
I have a sister that dated a man she thought was a great guy in almost every way. She broke up with him because she had no "chemistry" with him. How did she know? Well, she had dated other men and hand holding and kissing happened.
She has been happily married many years now and has four children.
Sex before marriage is a bad idea, but even in that case the "right thing' was to follow through with the commitment aspect if her father would allow the union.
I hope all who marry are happy in the union. Merry-ed, as opposed to sorry-ed.
I appreciate that neither of us had other "relationships" (modern term for sexual partners usually) before each other because we were, and are, serious about life.
In my limited experience, the physical part of the relationship tends to go one way fast. It is best to only pursue a relationship that you believe has a future, but how you go about that is a personal choice.
I have a cousin who's first kiss was at the alter. After years of marriage and 7 children she left her hubby to continue the "swinging" he got them involved in.
I have a sister that dated a man she thought was a great guy in almost every way. She broke up with him because she had no "chemistry" with him. How did she know? Well, she had dated other men and hand holding and kissing happened.
She has been happily married many years now and has four children.
Sex before marriage is a bad idea, but even in that case the "right thing' was to follow through with the commitment aspect if her father would allow the union.
I hope all who marry are happy in the union. Merry-ed, as opposed to sorry-ed.
I never gave a second thought to who, if anybody, my wife may have kissed before we met. I do know that she was a virgin.
I could care less, but maybe that's because I'm several orders of magnitude better kisser than past examples.
Agreed. But I've also seen way too many examples where a man marries a non-virgin who denies him sex before to 'do it right this time' and that sexual drought never stops. Absent religious convictions strong enough to keep her a virgin, if she can keep her hands off you before marriage there's a good chance it has more to do with a lack of attraction than virtue.
A husband must have the authority to decide whether or not she will actually do even what she believes God is telling her to do, or he is not truly her head. This is NOT because he has more authority than God, quite the opposite. It is because he has a role in helping her discern God's instructions, so the two of them may obey Him. She may be genuinely mistaken - for instance, God may have truly given her a dream that was real and intended for her to follow, but she may have misunderstood the meaning of the dream's symbology. Or God may have given her a passion to help a certain class of people, and she thinks that means she should be helping them in one way, while actually her husband realises there is different approach that is more appropriate. She could even think she heard from God, but did not... And she could have simply mistaken her emotions for the voice of the Holy Spirit.
A husband and wife are a team. Many women are sensitive to God's personal voice, and His heart (such as love for others), which is wonderful. A godly wife is a wonderful blessing to a man - but her husband is also a blessing to her. If she just obeys what she thinks God is telling her without obtaining the decision-making input of her husband on it, then they are no longer functioning as a team as God intended and she is at a strong risk of making the wrong decision. Just as he would be unwise were he to ignore her thoughts.
This is a good point. Which is why short engagements and quick weddings are the best policy. Take the time you need to work out if you should marry, while keeping chaste, but as soon as you've come to a solid conclusion follow through on it. Sexual attraction is very powerful, as God designe, and the Bible recognises that by not actually condemning such slip-ups IF they are followed by marriage. If you have no great difficulty being engaged for two years and not sleeping together, there's probably something wrong.
I sure like that thought. Kristin and I married half of my life ago after just barely knowing each other for a few months. She insisted we get married 2 weeks after our first date, and we got married 2 weeks later. I can't imagine life without her.
Similar to my situation. If we had tried to figure out all the reasons why we shouldn't (like most couples do) and waited for financial stability and security (which we didn't have) we'd probably have not gotten married and missed out on all the blessings God has bestowed on us all these years.
Amen. Waiting until one is ready is equivalent to pounding nails in one's own coffin.
Quick marriages used to be common; back in the days when marriages actually lasted. It's a good policy. As a practical matter, virtually no Christians can date longer than a few months without loosing their chastity. Everyone knows it's happening, they just choose to look the other way while pontificating about fornication.
I am chiming in a little late, I guess a little late is better than never. I look at courting this way: I would court a young lady the same way I would expect a young man to court my daughter. I would like to say "hands off" but that is easier said than done. Holding hands? I think that is doable, each situation is different. Some can hold hands and not go to the next level, where others would struggle. Hugging? side hugs, sure. Full on hugs? probably not a good idea. Kissing? I would say a big no. It's like the beginning of romantic fore play, which leads to the next level, all kinds of touching and next thing you know you are freeing the Tatas.
Now I understand that some will chime in with: what about a kiss good night? And my answer to that would be, play it by ear. We all know what we can handle and what we can't handle. I would think we would know our limits. It would be nice if it was as easy as Isaac and Rebekah, Gen 24:65-67.
Let's not forget...
1 Corinthians 7:9 KJV But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
Yes I am aware that this is talking about the unmarried and widows, but it can also apply to those getting married for the first time, those adding a second, third, and I would say if you are going to add more you should already have it figured out. lol
May YaHWeH guide you in your journey.
Now I understand that some will chime in with: what about a kiss good night? And my answer to that would be, play it by ear. We all know what we can handle and what we can't handle. I would think we would know our limits. It would be nice if it was as easy as Isaac and Rebekah, Gen 24:65-67.
Let's not forget...
1 Corinthians 7:9 KJV But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
Yes I am aware that this is talking about the unmarried and widows, but it can also apply to those getting married for the first time, those adding a second, third, and I would say if you are going to add more you should already have it figured out. lol
May YaHWeH guide you in your journey.
I had one wander off because I wasn’t expressing enough interest in what was under her clothing.
She never figured out what she lost out on.
Full-on hugs were freely given, but that wasn’t enough to convince her that I just had to have her. Which was evidently what she needed. (to be convinced that I couldn’t live without her body)
She never figured out what she lost out on.
Full-on hugs were freely given, but that wasn’t enough to convince her that I just had to have her. Which was evidently what she needed. (to be convinced that I couldn’t live without her body)
I will add to this that it all makes me think that most wedding ceremonies end up amounting to nothing more than a complete farce. It seems to have become the norm these days that couples have sex for months before moving in together, then they live together for years before getting around to having a wedding, which they still expect others to finance (and the gift expectations only seem to grow and grow and grow), and then the marriage lasts nowhere near as long as the lead-up and the living-together did.
Look, I've been married 4 times, so I'm no choir-boy good example, but on the other hand, of the 44 years I've been a full adult, all the time I wasn't married adds up to about 1 of those years. Clearly, I believe in marriage!
P.S. @Edward, your post was great!
On the other hand, most people do not see hugs and kisses and immoral or untoward. And so they quite reasonably assume that if you don't show such simple affections you must not have any affection for them. And it doesn't matter what you say because if they don't feel desired you must not desire them.
We don't live in an arranged marriage society, desire is the foundation of modern relationships.
changing subjects...
Agreed. It's a look at me event for the bride. Now that's not to say there isn't value in a ceremony; but things have gone off the rails.
We don't live in an arranged marriage society, desire is the foundation of modern relationships.
changing subjects...
Agreed. It's a look at me event for the bride. Now that's not to say there isn't value in a ceremony; but things have gone off the rails.
And clearly also believe in quick decisions and prompt weddings, when I try doing that maths...