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Family

Well my family members found out about my God given desire to be in a Plural marriage and are very much against it. I have been staying with them and they are being emotionally abusive and are attacking me verbally with how wrong I am and they wanted to throw Bible verses out to me explaining there position but if I say a Bible verse that defends my position world war three has broken out. Please pray as I have to stay here for the time being and I really desire that all the harassment and walking around the house calling me names would stop. I just don't know how much more I can take of this.
Liz
 
Morning Liz,

I've found that sometimes it's not worth the effort or stress to defend yourself (you know- it's the old "it's easier to get forgiveness than permission" thing). Sometimes it's the time to stand firm on your belief and stop trying to justify yourself to everyone. Personally, I've never seen throwing bible verses at people as a defensive measure (or as an offensive measure) work as a 'selling' tool.....you can't make people love or respect or accept you if they aren't willing to and trying to 'sell or convince' them at that point is just casting your pearls before swine; It only hurts you and empowers them.

Perhaps you could just let it go and have the best attitude you can in the situation you're in and get the heck out as soon as possible. If people don't have accepting and loving hearts you cannot fix them, all you can do is pray for them and let God do the 'fixing'.

Hope this is just a bit helpful...Just concentrate on making yourself the best you can be and less of a direct target, sometimes that's all you can do.

Peace and love,
 
Liz,

First of all, you have my profound sympathy. Rejection by family is no fun. For whatever it is worth, I just checked, and Ps 27:10 still says, "When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take care of me (or "take me up").", so you ARE in good hands. WILL pray for you, too, of course.

Secondly, I recently learned a greeeeat tool for dealing with unpleasant people. I hereby pass it on to you free of charge. :D

First you memorize 3 phrases which you can say with a chuckle:
** Opinions vary
** Time will tell
** No, thank you.

There are three additional options, but they MUST be said in a very empathetic tone:
** I know
** Probably so
** Nice Try!

Second, when tirades start, you just go brain dead, except to trot out whichever one of these fits their most recent eruption. Think about it -- there just isn't too much that can be said for which one of these isn't a polite response, but doesn't engage you in the controversy.

More importantly, they don't require YOU to think much at all. The other person is going nuts trying to get you to fight, but YOU can just keep spouting these few phrases ALL DAY LONG, 'til THEY get tired and quit in frustration!

YOU will have been courteous and non-threatening without giving one inch of ground, while THEY will have evidenced another spirit entirely without gaining an iota. Pretty positive outcome from your point of view, right? Plus, you'll probably still be calm or possibly even AMUSED inside, once you've seen how well it works. I heard of one mom who tattoed them on her fingers. Said they got her kids through their teen years alive! :lol:

Don't be surprised if the conversation ends much like this:
"Can't you say ANYTHING ELSE?" :evil:
"Time will tell." ;)
"Aaaaaaaaargh!" :twisted:
 
Love it Cecil!!! That is great!

I've heard these people talking to her. It is heart breaking to hear someone's own family treat them so poorly.

You Know I'm praying Liz!

All my love!
 
Great advice Cecil :lol: :lol: :lol:

Just cuz ppl are rude and ask/say obnoxious questions/statements doesnt mean we have to get down to their level.... kill'em with kindness....it's the best!!!!!!
 
Thank you all for the advice. I came home from work and just did my best to be the peacemaker.It actually seemed to work out really well and I basically said that we can agree to disagree and I will do my best to be respectful of you and I just ask that you give me the same respect in return. I even got a thank you so I pray that all the abusive talking and those things would come to a halt and that the talking about me poorly will stop.
Liz
 
Liz,

Glad to see you pray about this and put your trust in the man upstairs. We all get tested in our lives to see where our heart is and it is nice to see that even though it was tough you stood up for what you believe in. I feel this is what God wants us all to do. My mom was not happy and still don't like it but she has learn to respect me and the life I am living. Hang in there and continue to put him first and all things are possible. I will remember your trials and tribulations in my prayers.


God Bless,

James
 
God will help you thru this too.
I had similar issues with my family and friends at first. Now that we are living it (or at least trying) it's other issues but God is good and He hears those who love him. Wait and you will see, eventually they will at least respect you for your choice even if they don't agree.
 
I do not understand why people feel that being mean will help a situation, my heart and prayers go out to you!!!

Jen M
 
Hi SweetThing.

Is it a REQUIREMENT of yours to be in a plural marriage? I think it is awesome and good that you are willing to be in one (I think all Christian women should be willing, and a Christian woman should never divorce her man because he's got another wife). But making it a requirement (which I don't think is your case) is not biblical. Mormon girls (fundamentalist) actually WANT their man to have more wives, because they think that's how they get to heaven, or higher in heaven. Of course, the Book of Mormon is a fairytale.

You are between a biblical truth, and the command to honor your parents. But one can not rule, over matters of conscience. One can not use force, to change someone else's thinking. One can change someone else's actions through force, but not the mind. The mind is changed through reason. I pray that God gives you peace in your home, and guidance to do what is best, while honoring your parents at the same time. God bless you!

P.S. the spell check always underlines the word "honor". What's wrong with this computer, lol.
 
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