When it comes to Jealousy ...
And will they fail those who hold those expectations? Of COURSE! :lol:
A more realistic expectation would be to accept that you have been placed into a new and perfect POSITION regarding human relationships, and now you have the opportunity to grow into a maturity of PRACTICE. In the business world, we would say that you are going to embark on or commit to a process of continual improvement.
No-one is perfect right out of the box. Even our definition of perfection changes over time, and requires that we do likewise.
God says that He is Jealous over us -- therefore jealousy itself cannot be wrong as God is sinless. But God's jealousy is PROTECTIVE in nature -- not CONTROLLING. Further, it is exercised by the One who has authority in protection of the relationship with those in his care.
So ... if a husband saw another man putting the moves on his wife and ran the other man off, he would be exercising appropriate jealousy in guarding his wife's relationship to himself. If, on the other hand, he is monitoring her phone calls and text messages and demanding an accounting of every penny spent (there might be a valid purpose for the latter, if he's doing the same himself in an attempt to improve the finances, but it might be just a means of control), maybe even never letting her leave the house unaccompanied, this is not an exercise in Godly jealousy but in ungodly control.
Now to a woman. If she heard someone else dissing her husband's good name, and knew it to be false, and went to his defense? I suggest that she is operating out of Godly jealousy on his behalf. If, however, she says, "He is MINE! I get to control who and whether he develops another relationship, or how he will act towards another wife," or perhaps, "All his attention must be on me. Me. ME! Otherwise, I'll feel rejected and jealous", it would seem that the operative word is "control". Ungodly. The equivalent of us telling God, "You are only allowed to save us Baptists! None of those wild-eyed Pentecostals allowed!" How absurd.
Having said that, there IS a place for a wife to confront a husband if he is doing wrong. If he's playing blatant favorites with one wife, or being promiscuous, or any of a number of other inappropriate behaviors, it is her responsibility to LOVINGLY confront the issue. That is about appropriate boundaries and maintaining the health of the relationship. Not jealousy. Wise people say it like this: "Be hard on the issue, soft on the person."
Related FAQ Topics:
Related Discussions:
Jealousy in an open relationship
Then they get to choose how to react: Stay with the world's ways, complain bitterly about the need to change while pretending to do so, or look at learning and living the new ways as a wonderful adventure. I propose that the latter is both most effective and likely to be full of happiness.
Of COURSE!
And will they fail those who hold those expectations? Of COURSE! :lol: A more realistic expectation would be to accept that you have been placed into a new and perfect POSITION regarding human relationships, and now you have the opportunity to grow into a maturity of PRACTICE. In the business world, we would say that you are going to embark on or commit to a process of continual improvement.
No-one is perfect right out of the box. Even our definition of perfection changes over time, and requires that we do likewise.
The problem behind this question is our definition of jealousy. If Jealousy is protecting what is mine, and not casually sharing it with inappropriate others, then we can make progress.faithunseen said:
God says that He is Jealous over us -- therefore jealousy itself cannot be wrong as God is sinless. But God's jealousy is PROTECTIVE in nature -- not CONTROLLING. Further, it is exercised by the One who has authority in protection of the relationship with those in his care.
So ... if a husband saw another man putting the moves on his wife and ran the other man off, he would be exercising appropriate jealousy in guarding his wife's relationship to himself. If, on the other hand, he is monitoring her phone calls and text messages and demanding an accounting of every penny spent (there might be a valid purpose for the latter, if he's doing the same himself in an attempt to improve the finances, but it might be just a means of control), maybe even never letting her leave the house unaccompanied, this is not an exercise in Godly jealousy but in ungodly control.
Now to a woman. If she heard someone else dissing her husband's good name, and knew it to be false, and went to his defense? I suggest that she is operating out of Godly jealousy on his behalf. If, however, she says, "He is MINE! I get to control who and whether he develops another relationship, or how he will act towards another wife," or perhaps, "All his attention must be on me. Me. ME! Otherwise, I'll feel rejected and jealous", it would seem that the operative word is "control". Ungodly. The equivalent of us telling God, "You are only allowed to save us Baptists! None of those wild-eyed Pentecostals allowed!" How absurd.
Having said that, there IS a place for a wife to confront a husband if he is doing wrong. If he's playing blatant favorites with one wife, or being promiscuous, or any of a number of other inappropriate behaviors, it is her responsibility to LOVINGLY confront the issue. That is about appropriate boundaries and maintaining the health of the relationship. Not jealousy. Wise people say it like this: "Be hard on the issue, soft on the person."
Related FAQ Topics:
Related Discussions:
Jealousy in an open relationship