Getting along...you know, our prayer life can be hindered by friction within the home. It's important that there be harmony within the house. The husband needs to recognize the weaknesses of the wife and honor her as a weaker vessel; watching over her, taking care of her, shielding her.
In marriage God has two rules: one for the wife, one for the husband. In giving two rules, He keeps it simple so that it's almost impossible to say, "Well, I forgot the rule." He's giving you just ONE so you can't forget. And in giving the rule, God was thinking of the other.
So when He said, "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church" (Ephesians 5:25), He knew that a woman's greatest need was that of knowing that she is loved supremely by her husband. And the woman is always fishing for the affirmation of this: "Honey, do you love me? Honey, do I look nice? Do I look sharp tonight? Do you like this outfit?" And she's always fishing for "Honey, you're beautiful. I love you. You're everything to me." She's needing this assurance because she needs the security of knowing that she's loved.
Now Peter is saying, Honor her knowing that she's weaker. Give her that security; give her that strength. You are the strong one, give her that strength. Let her feel the protection; let her feel secure; your big, strong arm around her. She needs to feel that security.
Then the Lord said to the wives, "Submit yourself unto your own husbands" (Ephesians 5:22). And God knew that guys have this stupid male macho image of themselves and that they've got to feel that they're strong and powerful and in control; that they're running the show. A challenge of their authority is a real threat to their manhood. In the challenging of the authority, they then feel they have to assert their manhood. And big boys don't cry; that is, big boys aren't emotional.
So, to assert my manhood, I become very strong, cold and aloof. "I'm running the show and I don't need you and I don't need anybody else. I can do it myself." What that does then is just compound the insecurity of the wife that cause her to challenge you in the first place. You can get a horrible cycle going here as it works against the marriage to destroy it. Because the more cold and aloof you are, the less secure she feels. The less secure she feels, the more she challenges your decision. The more she challenges your decisions, the colder you become and so you can just tear a marriage apart.
These are important rules. They're basic to a good marriage, because the more the wife submits to her husband, the easier he finds it to show his love. The more he shows his love, the easier she finds it to submit to him.
Now he may be stupid, he may lose everything, but he's here and he loves me and, you know we're together, we'll make it. But if you're cold and aloof; this jerk making a stupid mistake and he's probably going to take off when he has lost everything. He'll be gone and then I won't have anything. What am I going to do? And she feels secure so she has to challenge everything that you do, everything that you say.
So these are basic simple rules. And always as far as the wife, it is subjection to the husband. To the husband, it is the honoring and the loving of his wife. And when it is working, it becomes a beautiful combination, and your lives can be enriched and your prayers effective. "Heirs together. We are heirs together of the grace of life."
There is no kind of a hierarchy in the spiritual realm. Men do not have an advantage over the women or vice versa; as far as in Christ, we are all one. So anybody who's looking for the superior sex or anything else, you will never find it in Christianity. Christianity removes any kind of barriers that exists between people. We all come the same way to the same Lord to receive the same grace. We are all one, heirs together of the grace of God. We share together equally in the things of the Lord. "For there is neither male nor female, bond or free: Christ is all and in all" (Colossians 3:11).
Blessings,
