General Hello, ~Joshua

[Joshua]

*my first post*
Good to meet you all, last year I was studying my Bible (Old Testament), and thought to myself, why aren’t all of these saints getting punished for having multiple wives? Furthermore, why are polygynists such as Abraham, David, Gideon, etc, labeled as faithful men of God? I decided to initiate a study on this topic, and quickly came to the conclusion that; (woah) having multiple wives is not sin. I mean, it’s in the name right? Wives… Don’t we know adultery is with a married woman who is not your wife? Needless to say, on one end, this discovery shocked me. On the other end, it relieved me. I used to (7th-9th grade) have many fantasies of being with multiple women at once, namely combinations of girls I knew in person at school/church. Since I was raised Christian (and still am) I obviously heard the traditional viewpoint that God (for some odd reason) allowed Old Testament men to have multiple wives despite the necessarily attached sin. This led me to brainwash myself for a few years into condemning polygyny in a similar manner to the (rightfully condemned) LGBT community, but without proper scriptural support. Furthermore, condemning myself for this desire, causing deep shame and sadness. Looking back, it angers me to see so many modern Christian leaders teaching doctrines of devils, forbidding to marry, and rudiments of the world (taste not, touch not, handle not). I am 20 years old (since may) and have one beautiful wife so far (since December 2021). We have one daughter (age 2) together and we’re very blessed. I came across this site shortly after my doctrinal epiphany towards marriage, and I have been reading my articles/threads since, as a spectator. Moving forward though, as I have (still) many questions about some meat of these topics, along with desire to have fellowship with likeminded people (especially those who have actually lived the lifestyle), and get advice moving forward in life long term, as I am heavily interested in more wives/children (whenever the Lord would lead and provide). I would appreciate if you would all slap me with as much information as humanly possible, (such as how to get the label “real person”). While I eagerly anticipate and am thankful in advance for your welcomes, if you desire to reply in this thread, I kindly ask that you include at least one question for me, and/or information for me (not just a one sentence hello/welcome). I did see a post about men’s “brave talk” calls. Don’t be afraid to mention any topic of under the sun, and I would like to extend a special thank you to the staff/founders of this website for your hard work in providing this resource/community. God bless you all.

Your brother in Christ,

~Joshua

 

[Torahobservantmmck86]

Welcome, it seems like it is rare these days for the 20 somethings crowd to make their way into polygamy these days. I know polyamory is pretty popular (which is disgusting). My question is.. since the 20 somethings crowd seems to be a mystery anomaly lol (I never see any of them around!) - are there more in your age group or peer group waking up to this truth?

I guess to leave you some information about this, be aware this is super niche still at the moment. Finding another wife seems to be a almost insurmountable task since because of the stigma. If you look online be aware of scammers out there, There seems to be tons of couple waking up to this, but single females willing for this is a super super rare event. It seems like for ever 50-100 couples looking there might be 1 single female who doesn't appear to be a hot mess and in my opinion that might be a stretch.

 

[frederick]

Greetings Joshua. I'm just going to do the short sentence welcome and maybe catch you again another day. Cheers

 

[Mark C]

Welcome, and blessings.

 

[Joshua]

Welcome, it seems like it is rare these days for the 20 somethings crowd to make their way into polygamy these days. I know polyamory is pretty popular (which is disgusting). My question is.. since the 20 somethings crowd seems to be a mystery anomaly lol (I never see any of them around!) - are there more in your age group or peer group waking up to this truth?

I guess to leave you some information about this, be aware this is super niche still at the moment. Finding another wife seems to be an almost insurmountable task since because of the stigma. If you look online be aware of scammers out there, There seems to be tons of couple waking up to this, but single females willing for this is a super super rare event. It seems like for ever 50-100 couples looking there might be 1 single female who doesn't appear to be a hot mess and in my opinion that might be a stretch.

Thank you for your reply sir! In short, yes; but more men than women. I have actually convinced at least 10 other young guys I know that polygyny is acceptable to Jesus, and one of my friends has convinced a few girls he knows. I’m glad at least my wife accepts the scriptures as binding, holy, and a blessing (not a curse towards women). Way more of the youth are waking up compared to the last few hundred years, but still not enough for my liking haha. Thank you for your warning of scammers and the scarcity of proper opportunity, (I agree most women willing to join this lifestyle are deviant with untreated trauma). I will choose to have faith in the Lord, he has brought me my first wife who is kind and accepting of this lifestyle, although she admits the idea sounds hurtful due to her cultural learning in childhood (please pray for her heart to be further/continually softened, as she has been also praying to God herself to help her change her feelings of jealousy towards a possible second wife, and adjustment to God’s biblical family roles), therefore our gracious God will provide me with another in his will/timing. Funny story, I was recently ostracized from my (now former) church’s worship team and essentially shunned altogether when the pastor learned of my views on poly. This helped give me insight to the deep rooted hatred for patriarchal men in modern America. I have since found a new church that I like much better, and have no intention of saying anything as of yet. I most enjoy my weekly Friday men’s group fellowship that I host with my friend, and have found joy in their acceptance of biblical truth, and overall brotherhood without the traditions of men and old timey elders/pastors that won’t do their job properly or love the brethren when they disagree. Feel free to ask me anything else, as I ask you; are you married? Kids? And how long have you held this view on marriage, what are any interesting observations you’ve made on the community and any further advice for wife seeking. Thanks

 

[Shadowjak's Dancer]

Hey, welcome. Is your wife on-board with you taking on more wives? As far as information, not everybody here agrees with everyone else on everything, but that is likely for the best as it allows us to grapple with differing ideas and decide why we agree or disagree .

 

[Joshua]

Hey, welcome. Is your wife on-board with you taking on more wives? As far as information, not everybody here agrees with everyone else on everything, but that is likely for the best as it allows us to grapple with differing ideas and decide why we agree or disagree .

Yes (as mentioned in my above reply to another member) she is on board in the sense of submission, but has expressed feelings of hurt and jealousy towards the thought of a sister-wife. She fully understands these are emotional and unbiblical and has been praying for God to soften her heart to align with Him, and with me. She has explicitly stated she would in no way attempt to divorce me for acting on this desire. I am wholeheartedly thankful to God for her, and such Godly-feminine reaction. Feel free to ask me anything else. God bless

 

[theleastofthese]

Welcome! Nice to see some younger folks here

 

[FollowingHim2]

Welcome to BF!

An answer to a question - you get a 'real person' label by having interacted with another 'real person'. Either attend a retreat, visit someone in real life, or phone call, video call etc. A phone or video call gets you an orange status, while an in person encounter gets you green.

A question - would your wife be interested in joining up on BF?

Some information - we have a ladies chat on Tuesday nights that your wife is welcome to join. She can come if she's not sure about poly, we're happy to talk with her. There are women there who are only wives and who are plural, and topics range from poly, to food, to kids, to animals, etc. More info here: https://biblicalfamilies.org/forum/threads/ladies-chat-tuesday-nights-7-30p-est.16519/

 

[Joshua]

Welcome to BF!

An answer to a question - you get a 'real person' label by having interacted with another 'real person'. Either attend a retreat, visit someone in real life, or phone call, video call etc. A phone or video call gets you an orange status, while an in person encounter gets you green.

A question - would your wife be interested in joining up on BF?

Some information - we have a ladies chat on Tuesday nights that your wife is welcome to join. She can come if she's not sure about poly, we're happy to talk with her. There are women there who are only wives and who are plural, and topics range from poly, to food, to kids, to animals, etc. More info here: https://biblicalfamilies.org/forum/threads/ladies-chat-tuesday-nights-7-30p-est.16519/

Thank you for your reply! As a follow up, who could I have a phone call with to verify for orange badge, and is there a map of people who are willing to meet in person? I did see the meetups section and am interested in keeping track of it.

My wife may be interested in the near future, but we have some things going on in the next couple weeks that I would say “have her focus” you know? I’ll definitely start nagging at her after that I appreciate the information about the women’s chat, and I know there is a whole ladies only section, which is nice to see. An honest question, do the women in those chats push certain viewpoints? I don’t mean to get into meat during an introduction thread but bluntly I’m referencing the many viewpoints I’ve seen on romans 1:26, and how that affects the bounds of the marriage bed (some women pointedly assert their personal objections), which I would say it does not at all and refers to lesbian lifestyles and attempts to avoid pregnancy. God bless you!

 

[NickF]

Welcome and I'm glad you found the place!

My wife and I had a similar experience with the pastor of the last church we attended. I decided I would leave peacefully instead of publicly humiliate him with scriptural proof and divide the congregation.

 

[Joshua]

Welcome and I'm glad you found the place!

My wife and I had a similar experience with the pastor of the last church we attended. I decided I would leave peacefully instead of publicly humiliate him with scriptural proof and divide the congregation.

I understand and I would have been torn if I were you as well. Due to my young age, I would not have been taken seriously in the first place by the congregation, despite my favorable scriptural knowledge/debate ability. Furthermore, this church had essentially 0 fruit, the only thing planned in months was renting out a bowling alley for everyone to hangout (lol). God bless you for holding your convictions

 

[FollowingHim2]

An honest question, do the women in those chats push certain viewpoints? I don’t mean to get into meat during an introduction thread but bluntly I’m referencing the many viewpoints I’ve seen on romans 1:26, and how that affects the bounds of the marriage bed (some women pointedly assert their personal objections),

We don't generally get too far into scripture and theology. Sometimes we do, if someone wants to discuss it. The ladies chat is much lighter than that, more about day to day stuff and how people are feeling etc. Everyone has different opinions on things, and there are few things that we are pretty set on. I would say - 'poly isn't a sin', 'obey your husband', and 'bring it all back to God', are the only things that are sort of 'pushed'. Most of the time we're just discussing what's for dinner tonight lol.

 

[Joshua]

We don't generally get too far into scripture and theology. Sometimes we do, if someone wants to discuss it. The ladies chat is much lighter than that, more about day to day stuff and how people are feeling etc. Everyone has different opinions on things, and there are few things that we are pretty set on. I would say - 'poly isn't a sin', 'obey your husband', and 'bring it all back to God', are the only things that are sort of 'pushed'. Most of the time we're just discussing what's for dinner tonight lol.

That is refreshing to hear, I pray God will bless you for your good conversation in Christ. I will update you in 2-3 weeks latest after seeing how my wife feels about BF. I don’t mean to pry but again I ask do you know who would be willing to call me and provide the opportunity for me to get the real person tag? Thank you for your time ma’am.

 

[Torahobservantmmck86]

Thank you for your reply sir! In short, yes; but more men than women. I have actually convinced at least 10 other young guys I know that polygyny is acceptable to Jesus, and one of my friends has convinced a few girls he knows. I’m glad at least my wife accepts the scriptures as binding, holy, and a blessing (not a curse towards women). Way more of the youth are waking up compared to the last few hundred years, but still not enough for my liking haha. Thank you for your warning of scammers and the scarcity of proper opportunity, (I agree most women willing to join this lifestyle are deviant with untreated trauma). I will choose to have faith in the Lord, he has brought me my first wife who is kind and accepting of this lifestyle, although she admits the idea sounds hurtful due to her cultural learning in childhood (please pray for her heart to be further/continually softened, as she has been also praying to God herself to help her change her feelings of jealousy towards a possible second wife, and adjustment to God’s biblical family roles), therefore our gracious God will provide me with another in his will/timing. Funny story, I was recently ostracized from my (now former) church’s worship team and essentially shunned altogether when the pastor learned of my views on poly. This helped give me insight to the deep rooted hatred for patriarchal men in modern America. I have since found a new church that I like much better, and have no intention of saying anything as of yet. I most enjoy my weekly Friday men’s group fellowship that I host with my friend, and have found joy in their acceptance of biblical truth, and overall brotherhood without the traditions of men and old timey elders/pastors that won’t do their job properly or love the brethren when they disagree. Feel free to ask me anything else, as I ask you; are you married? Kids? And how long have you held this view on marriage, what are any interesting observations you’ve made on the community and any further advice for wife seeking. Thanks

Thanks for you interesting and engaging conversation style! it is really refreshing!
Wow 10 of your friends that is quite a hopeful amount for one person's friend group! In my opinion if there is going to be a resurgence in polygny it is going to have to come from the 20-30 year old's group mainly.

That is good your wife is willing and accepting of this truth, I know the jealousy and overall huge life style change this may bring can scare women, my wife accepted the scripture right away on polygny but opposed it for us personally at first (about 2 years). oddly enough the thing that brought her around to the idea was that there was no scripture prohibiting a man from having interaction with all of his wives at once in the bed room.

This shocked me at first, but the more she explained the more it made the whole jealousy thing really make sense from their perspective. A man including all women in this part of life meant that the wives were not treated as separate households with each vying for the attention. it would put the fellowship on a team level of all of the wives, and cements that they would be married to the one man and not the one man married to each wife treating them as all separate estate matters if that makes sense? the wives would all be in close fellowship because they would have everything in everyday life to bond over and not be in competition against each other. In this scenario its hard for a wife to feel fear of being discarded in the progression of the married life. I know this can be a contentious topic in the polygamy community, but that is how my wife came to accepting it for us and I figured I would tell that story lol.

To answer your questions, yes I am married and have been for about 13 years, we got married at 24 years old. We do have children. I came to the truth of polygny about 4 or so years ago? I can't remember exactly on the timeline of that. We was baptist in a church for many years and very involved, I was deacon, and wife was involved in the church ministry with music. We was there multiple times a week for years. at one point I got worn out, and sick and tired of just going through the motions feeling no joy or spark of life, so I prayed to have truth revealed because I knew there had to be more.
Long story short my eyes and heart were opened and I threw out all that confusing theologian/teaching's of men nonsense that weighed down and confused the mind and just started over reading the scripture with a clean slate. started from genesis and went on. and through that it was hard not to miss the Polygny mechanics going on, especially in Numbers, 600,000 plus fighting men and 23,000 or so first born males of that group. that puts about 28 or so sons per household. that is some serious polygny going on lol.

I would say the interesting observations i have made over the years of trying to keep up with the polgyny world is that right now the religious oriented side of the community is really small compared to the lacivious and promiscious side of the community, which is sad. I'm just basing this on how much popular polyamory is over Polygny, and the facebook polygamy groups that seem to be 100% focused on the hotmess trashy unmoral worldly approach to it.

In the religious side of the community, oddly enough Mormon's are pretty rare from what I've observed. it seems to be Christians and alot of Torah people waking up and coming to this knowledge. As far as looking for wives, i would probably stay off the internet dating sites for that and look in person, other that that I don't know, I'm open to hearing any advice on this as well, the search is tough! Anyways I probably have some more observations and things to type but I think I have already unloaded too many words on this comment post haha.

 

[Joshua]

Thanks for you interesting and engaging conversation style! it is really refreshing!
Wow 10 of your friends that is quite a hopeful amount for one person's friend group! In my opinion if there is going to be a resurgence in polygny it is going to have to come from the 20-30 year old's group mainly.

That is good your wife is willing and accepting of this truth, I know the jealousy and overall huge life style change this may bring can scare women, my wife accepted the scripture right away on polygny but opposed it for us personally at first (about 2 years). oddly enough the thing that brought her around to the idea was that there was no scripture prohibiting a man from having interaction with all of his wives at once in the bed room.

This shocked me at first, but the more she explained the more it made the whole jealousy thing really make sense from their perspective. A man including all women in this part of life meant that the wives were not treated as separate households with each vying for the attention. it would put the fellowship on a team level of all of the wives, and cements that they would be married to the one man and not the one man married to each wife treating them as all separate estate matters if that makes sense? the wives would all be in close fellowship because they would have everything in everyday life to bond over and not be in competition against each other. In this scenario its hard for a wife to feel fear of being discarded in the progression of the married life. I know this can be a contentious topic in the polygamy community, but that is how my wife came to accepting it for us and I figured I would tell that story lol.

To answer your questions, yes I am married and have been for about 13 years, we got married at 24 years old. We do have children. I came to the truth of polygny about 4 or so years ago? I can't remember exactly on the timeline of that. We was baptist in a church for many years and very involved, I was deacon, and wife was involved in the church ministry with music. We was there multiple times a week for years. at one point I got worn out, and sick and tired of just going through the motions feeling no joy or spark of life, so I prayed to have truth revealed because I knew there had to be more.
Long story short my eyes and heart were opened and I threw out all that confusing theologian/teaching's of men nonsense that weighed down and confused the mind and just started over reading the scripture with a clean slate. started from genesis and went on. and through that it was hard not to miss the Polygny mechanics going on, especially in Numbers, 600,000 plus fighting men and 23,000 or so first born males of that group. that puts about 28 or so sons per household. that is some serious polygny going on lol.

I would say the interesting observations i have made over the years of trying to keep up with the polgyny world is that right now the religious oriented side of the community is really small compared to the lacivious and promiscious side of the community, which is sad. I'm just basing this on how much popular polyamory is over Polygny, and the facebook polygamy groups that seem to be 100% focused on the hotmess trashy unmoral worldly approach to it.

In the religious side of the community, oddly enough Mormon's are pretty rare from what I've observed. it seems to be Christians and alot of Torah people waking up and coming to this knowledge. As far as looking for wives, i would probably stay off the internet dating sites for that and look in person, other that that I don't know, I'm open to hearing any advice on this as well, the search is tough! Anyways I probably have some more observations and things to type but I think I have already unloaded too many words on this comment post haha.

Same situation happening with me right now brother, one of the benefits she acknowledges (among many) is the 3+ to a bed possibility (isn’t this inherently exciting? I won’t say more as to respect her privacy). She seems to be coming around well and I think it will really click harder (emotionally) once she reads through some threads I am bookmarking from this forum, as well as join the ladies chats soon. I again ask that you’d pray for us, both for soft hearts to God’s word, and future opportunity. -Those Old Testament polygyny numbers really are laughable, along with God’s remarks of Rehoboam dealing wisely by desiring many wives. I agree that reading God’s word without commentary can be very liberating, and this has led me to much truth (along with conversing with other knowledgeable men, and pondering different scholarly perspectives online, also side note I use the KJV only). I do hope and pray that you are right about the 20-30 y/o’s waking up to biblical truth on family dynamics and the exciting marriage possibilities. I do find it odd and agree with your observation of the lack of Mormon support (I wonder why they’ve strayed from their beginning?), but this makes me happy as I don’t want to be associated with them, and I pray the Torah keepers will believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and his finished work on the cross/resurrection from the dead (to get saved), But I’m more than happy for their support in proving the Old Testament’s correct doctrine. I appreciate your replies as well and I welcome indefinite questions, or a private chat if you ever desire! God bless you!

 

[aineo]

Welcome!

 

[julieb]

Welcome Joshua! Thank you for sharing so much of your journey to understanding polygyny. It is always encouraging to hear how God has moved on the hearts of others to find this truth. It is also unusual to be married at such a young age these days, did your church background or family support this mindset? Or did you just find the "right" young lady and want to start your family?

don’t mean to pry but again I ask do you know who would be willing to call me and provide the opportunity for me to get the real person tag?

I would encourage you to put this aside for a bit and just take some time to get to know some men at this site first. Relationship that comes organically because of some connection you find in the postings here (and/or in person at a retreat) is worth the time and effort. The real person label will reflect those relationships built in time.

I look forward to hopefully getting to know your wife in the future. Blessings!

 

[Bill L]

Hello, and welcome.

 

[Joshua]

Welcome Joshua! Thank you for sharing so much of your journey to understanding polygyny. It is always encouraging to hear how God has moved on the hearts of others to find this truth. It is also unusual to be married at such a young age these days, did your church background or family support this mindset? Or did you just find the "right" young lady and want to start your family?


I would encourage you to put this aside for a bit and just take some time to get to know some men at this site first. Relationship that comes organically because of some connection you find in the postings here (and/or in person at a retreat) is worth the time and effort. The real person label will reflect those relationships built in time.

I look forward to hopefully getting to know your wife in the future. Blessings!

No, my family did not want me to get married young, we would have married even earlier than we did (I was 17 she was 19) if I had learned sooner that legal marriage licenses were not required. My family only supported the culturally early legal marriage (18 and 20) because we had a daughter born about 5 months prior to that. We met shortly after I turned 15, as we got to know each other we simply fell into deep love, and furthermore bonded over much suffering. Her dad has treated me wickedly from the start but for some reason (probably God himself intervening), he publicly gave her in marriage at our legal ceremony. We have been through so much together and from such a young age I do feel that we can get through anything. Please pray for our continued growth in the Lord and for more kids! (We still only have one daughter), God bless you.