Hypothetically should monogamy only be a dealbreaker

Discussion in 'Singles Issues' started by DiscussingTheTopic, Feb 7, 2017.

  1. DiscussingTheTopic

    DiscussingTheTopic Active Member

    If a woman is interested in marrying you but expects you not to marry other people should that be a deal breaker?
  2. NetWatchR

    NetWatchR Well-Known Member

    I don't think its a deal-breaker to discuss it, or for her to express that to be her desire. It is then for the man to decide if he can live within that framework. He's going in eyes wide open, knowing that plural is an option and agreeing to stay monogamous for this one woman. However, if she demands this, then not only is it still up to the man to agree or not, but she is already setting the authoritative tone for the family.

    In short, i don't think it's a deal breaker in itself unless the husband-to-be decides it is. Deal-breakers, in general, are very personal pass/fail qualifiers that will be different for each person.
    ADHERE, Mojo, ZecAustin and 4 others like this.
  3. FollowingHim

    FollowingHim Administrator Staff Member

    Exactly. There's nothing wrong with monogamy. It's awesome! So he could choose to promise her that. Or choose not to make that promise and see if that's a "deal-breaker" for her instead. Much prayer should be involved in making the serious decision of how to proceed, to ensure that God's will is being followed and not impeded.
  4. ZecAustin

    ZecAustin Well-Known Member

    My wife negotiated this clause in our marriage contract. She later decided to waive it.

    And I don't think she was taking authority. She dealt openly and honestly and we came to an agreement we both could live with.

    The question becomes can you luv with it? If she never waives that clause in her marriage contract are you going to be satisfied and keep your end of the bargain?
  5. Mojo

    Mojo Well-Known Member

    Tough one if you are going into it with this knowledge of biblical marriage before tying the knot. Most of us negotiated out of it after vowing monogamy.

    I would suggest taking the same route we all did, but in reverse. Counsel, study, pray, discuss with her all your reasons and proofs before taking the plunge.

    After all that, and she still insists on monogamy??? Go as you please, but as NetWR said, she is setting you up to have her be the role of final authority in marriage. She may be worth it, though. If you find a wife, you've found a good thing! Unless you've got someone else lined up already, though, it may be moot because 99.9% of church going women ain't going down that road anyway. How many guys on here have waited, but are yet to find???

    Just saying.
  6. Verifyveritas76

    Verifyveritas76 Active Member

    Hypothetically, if God is the one responsible for bringing who he wants together, and the Adowns role is stewardship, how could the steward knowingly promise the stewarded anything that could be contrary to the Masters will?
    Any promise given should include a caveat such as "if it is His will". If He brings you another, great. If not, still rejoice with the wife of your youth.

    All you can truly promise is to be a faithful steward/husband over the people He's intrusted to your care