In Hot Pursuit of Respect

[CecilW]

This morning, I went to look up Prov 3:6 "... and He shall direct thy paths", and got ambushed by the previous verses. Found them significant in light of the other thread about what we all need most from relationships, with guys heavy towards respect, and gals heavy on love and protection.

Let not MERCY and TRUTH forsake you; Bind them around your neck, Write them on the tablet of your heart, and so find FAVOR and HIGH ESTEEM in the sight of God and man.

"Favor" and "high esteem" sound like pretty good descriptions of the respect we men seek, right? And the method of achieving the same is plainly given -- operate from a basis of Mercy and Truth, with Mercy leading the way.

As I sat thinking about this, I was reminded of the Jewish tradition of binding phylactories to their arms and foreheads in physical obedience to what may or may not have been another metaphorical command. I'm imagining a gold or silver necklace with a plate in the front inscribed with the words "Mercy & Truth", and a tattoo of a heart with the same words in the middle of the chest in physical obedience to the above command.

Maybe those sort of physical reminders are beneficial to us humans, or maybe just to us fellas. After all, God told us to wear those knotted string tassles on the corners of robes as reminders, etc.

Regardless, this seems like a truly interesting prescription. Wouldn't it make respecting your man easier for you ladies?

If we fellas truly want the respect of our wives and children and neighbors, here's the secret -- Operate ALWAYS from the basis of Mercy and Truth with Mercy taking the lead.

 

[Paul not the apostle]

Good post, thanks.

 

[RRP]

Excellent post Cecil, may we all lead our families with this mantle.

Ray

 

[Anonymous]

Thanks Cecil !
I couldn't agree with you more
Blessings,
Fairlight

 

[cbv3123]

Thanks Cecil, always enjoy your insight.

 

[DeeAnn]

"Wouldn't it make respecting your man easier for you ladies? "

Ummmm......YES!
Respect is the hardest aspect of married life for me. Well, not all the time. I think that most of the time I am Miss Happy Helpmeet. But the slightest bit of indifference from Paul and my ability to respect flies out the window and everything that I thought I forgave him for comes flying in. I have literally presented to other women that the command to respect their husbands as in Ephesians and Colosians, although it is right next to the command to the men to love their wives, are not contingent upon one another. So why can't I do it myself ALL of the time?! Maybe a reminder would be great for me. Tattoos on my hands maybe, because I'm sure not going to see a tattoo on my chest or my forehead when I'm spouting off at the mouth at him. I need y'all to pray for me regarding this, please. I realized today that I say that I forgive him for something, but I still bring up stuff from 10+ years ago when I don't feel loved. The disrespect and unforgiveness go hand in hand for me when I don't feel loved. Whether me feeling loved is my receptor or his transmitter, or a crazy combo of both, is a whole 'nuther story. Basically, I need to forgive and I need to respect. REGARDLESS. When I realized this I said, "I've prayed and I've tried, but I just don't know how." Then it hit me that I need to go to the rule book. Not just look up a verse here or there, but to look them all up. All the verses that I could find with forgive, forgiven, forgiveness, and forgives in them. I got a notebook and started writing them down, all of them. My hand still aches, but I'm glad I did it. I had to stop a few times and pray that forgiveness out loud, but each time it got less painful. I told myself that I'm going to carry that notebook with me everywhere I go and read those verses out loud when I feel those old pains come up. So I guess that will be a big tangible reminder for me.

 

[DeeAnn]

Oh, wait! When I said, "YES!" I thought you meant ME wearing something to remind MYSELF to show mercy and high esteem to my man. Not him acting out of those qualities to gain my respect. Oh well.
I really need to not post after a certain hour of the evening.