• Biblical Families is not a dating website. It is a forum to discuss issues relating to marriage and the Bible, and to offer guidance and support, not to find a wife. Click here for more information.

Support Is anyone interested in helping me keep my wife from being forced into an Alzheimer's facility?

H

hoojiggy

New Member
Today at 1:55 AM
Here is my situation:

My wife is a wonderful lady, but she has developed Alzheimer’s disease. It’s rapidly getting worse. I won’t divorce her. She deserves to live as normal a life as possible. I will love her until the end.

She doesn’t remember much from the day before, at times even from a minute before. I answer the same questions over and over. When that occurs, she doesn’t know she is ill. In her right mind (which is most of the time) she knows and accepts it.

What can I do? Until a knee is replaced, I can’t drive much. My wife is a good driver, but her driver’s license expires soon and she can’t get another one due to the disease. We will be stuck at home in NE Oklahoma with no family closer than northern Kansas.

God has promised to never leave nor forsake us. We are Christians and believe His Word. We go to a small, but very friendly church. I hobble in with a cane on one side, wife on the other side. I stay seated throughout the service, even if I sing a solo. I used to have a quartet, and am a songwriter.

I love my wife. It is my desire to make it easier on her than it will be if I do nothing. I WILL ALSO LOVE those special people that help me with this situation. I don’t know where else to turn for help.

We need a lady to help keep the house clean AND to drive. I can’t, due to the bad knee. My wife doesn’t even notice the mess! Our church is too small to be much help. Are there any interested ladies out there? We are open to polygyny.

God’s blessings to you,

Don (Age 80) and GG (Age 74)

word@ismyaddress.com

text 360-977-7202
 
Hi Noah,

I am in Langley, close to the dam that forms Grand Lake. You must be in the Bartlesville area, right? If so, it is about 65-70 miles west of me. Thanks for the response and prayers. I'm not sure how this will end, but God has promised never to leave or forsake us.

The bottom line, in MY estimation, is we need another lady that can help clean the house and drive us. Where are some of the widows whose husbands have already passed away? This should be a great opportunity for one of them to find a new place to be of service. Maybe we are too old to be of interest to most people.

Of course, we are new to this lifestyle, and inexperienced, and my wife doesn't really understand much about it. She says she hasn't done anything wrong, and we don't need a third party and she is a good driver. She is right on all counts, except for the ones that matter! The state will take her away from me if she is caught driving without a license, or if I happen to fall and need help getting up, or, or, or...

She would also lose her two little Chihuahuas, and I think that would probably kill her.

My only answer is to find a second wife. If God has something else in mind, I am willing to let Him lead me.

Thanks again,

DG
 
hoojiggy said:
My only answer is to find a second wife.
Click to expand...
Which is the most unlikely and difficult to achieve solution. It might happen, and we'll all rejoice with you if it does - but you have problems today, and people typically wait years before meeting the right wife. You need to find more immediate solutions to your problems, rather than having your heart set on this one option.

You could move in with family, or sell your house and buy an apartment in a retirement village where you would have the medical supervision you both need at this age and is within walking distance of everywhere you need to go, or get help from a local church, or a secular charity. You may find there is a discount taxi or bus service in your local area that specifically caters for elderly people who no longer have their licence - and if you sell your car you might get enough for it to pay for transport for a long time. There are hundreds of possible solutions.

Don't set your heart on the most unlikely solution. Pray for that, but in the meantime, you need to find more practical ways of solving your problems today.
 
If you want another wife, pray for her. God gives wives and I’m grateful for mine.

I agree with the sentiment to work on what you can while you wait. I pray God will send you what you need and if you desire it, the right woman that can help you.

The same God that gave David wives is capable of giving you wives, if he chooses.

2 Samuel 12:8
I gave your master’s house to you and your master’s wives into your arms, and I gave you the house of Israel and Judah, and if that was not enough, I would have given you even more.
 
I am sorry to hear things are so difficult for you both right now. Praying the Lord gives you wisdom in the next steps you need to take and that the help you need will come in some form.
 
I’m going to be blunt here, sir.
What you are offering will most likely attract a grifter or a scammer.
It’s common knowledge in certain areas of society that the path to success is to attach themselves to an elderly person or two and become their caregiver, taking over their finances and their lives. It happens all the time.
I’m sorry for the situation that you find yourself in and I pray that you will find your answers.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top