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It's our attitude

FollowingHim2

Women's Ministry
Staff member
Real Person
Female
I was doing dishes, and I was thinking, so you lot get to hear my musings, aren't you all lucky! Once again, someone tell me if I've got this all messed up.

I was watching a video about this woman that was struggling to be a mum, because she had 3 children aged 8-1yr, and sometimes only managed to shower once every 4 days. Apparently she wasn't looking after herself properly and it was SO hard being a mum etc.
You know, I see a lot of these things. I see how women who have only 2 or 3 children struggle, even when they're stay at home mums and their kids are in preschool or school all day. It drives me nuts, because I want to say, hey look over here, I've got 6 under 9 and sometimes don't manage to shower for a week and a half, and guess what, I didn't die!
Life is hard. It is hard being a mum, and I think of all the ways that my life could be easier, like if my children were in preschool or school or if I chose to space them further apart. But that's not my life. Instead I'm making do with what I've got. And as crazy and chaotic as it is, I am happy. And I think that's the key phrase here.

So, you all know how I like to make the association between children and marriage. Yeah, you're getting lumped with that again, but you know you don't have to be reading this, I'll understand :).
Marriage is hard sometimes. I mean general marriage, monogamous or plural, it's still hard. Samuel and I have been through some really tough times. We got married in the knowledge that our marriage was forever. I don't believe in divorce except for in very rare circumstances. Right from the get go we both knew that we would have to sort out any problems because we were committed to each other no matter what. So that's the attitude we have. There are times that we fight, and I can't stand him, and in the early days I went on many walks where I just had to leave the house. But we are both happy. We're happy because we choose to be. I'm happy as a mother because I choose to be.

What if the attitude that society is throwing at us about motherhood and marriage is what is the main reason for the breakdown of marriage? What if it's actually about our attitude and what we choose, not what happens to us?
About motherhood we're told: It's hard, you can't have more than 2 or 3 because it will be even harder, you will never get a chance to pee by yourself again, you will never sleep again, they will draw all over your walls. You will only be happy if you make sure to take care of yourself first and wear makeup every day, or when the children finally leave home.
About marriage we're told: Sex isn't good and basically stops, it's hard, you may fall out of love, - divorce because you're 'not the same people anymore' is good, divorce for pretty much any reason is good, - men are stupid, women know everything.
I'm sure both those lists could be added to.
If we listen to everything we're told, then we're coming into it with a bad attitude already. And when times do get hard, they're going to be harder because we're coming at it wrong.

So lets switch it up. Lets choose to be happy. I choose to be happy.
Am I sounding like a motivational speaker now? Send me money and I'll tell you more ;).
 
Well said!
The only way to stay happy, is to choose to be happy with what you have. (This does NOT mean we cannot dream, or plan, or seek to improve things)
But seriously, a mom with only two or three (edited to clarify I do mean quits, or deliberately stops, God is in charge of giving those blessings) is just lacking a sense of adventure. She may get more showers, but she's never gonna get as many sticky fingered hugs and kisses, or as much wisdom as you will gain by parenting all those different little people. :)

Modern women, especially christians, can end up with seriously unrealistic expectations of their men. If they compare him to the pastor, or anyone else, or want him to buy the latest whatever before they will be happy, they just doom themselves to misery.
I found the Little House On The Prairie books really helped me keep things in perspective.....and even gave me courage to make cheese. I mean if Laura's mom could do it way back then, I can figure it out!

Thanks for the positive post!
 
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