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Language Theory of PM Mgmt

CecilW

Member
Real Person
Male
Folks,

Sir BumbleBerry just came in, and is standing here at my knee looking especially spiffy in a clean green tunic and freshly pressed red hat. (For the techie folks, he INSISTS his name is NOT "Linux"!) :lol:

Even more unusually, he is standing politely, with what seems to be a fairly long role of ... (?) Toilet Paper in his hands, closely covered with some sort of hen scratching that he claims is WRITING! :eek:

He says that he has been thinking extensively upon the subject of how to manage a PM successfully, and craves my indulgence to address the assembled members.

I, in turn, am suspicious. After all, he IS Sir BumbleBerry! :shock: But he looks so freshly scrubbed and earnest (he says, Even behind the ears!), that I guess I'll give him a chance. So without further adieu, I give you ... SIR BUMBLEBERRY! Fresh from a ... Say, SB, just how DID you get so clean looking?

*Emoticon for Long Baleful Stare* *I'm even more nervous. Reconsidering...*

Ah-HEM, Ladies and gentlemen! Sir BumbleBerry here.

I have been contemplating what course of action would be most likely to achieve and sustain marital harmony within a Plural Marriage family, and have, after much deep thought and extended contemplation of my tiny navel, (Did you know that they actually have whole HOSPITALS specializing in Navals? It's true Drive down the freeway in Oakland, CA, just past the Mormon temple. There's a BIG sign that says "Naval Hospital Next Exit"!!! Who grows up dreaming of becoming a navel doctor?!!! You humans are just plain WEIRD!)

Ah-hem! As I was saying before being so rudely interrupted by, um, well, mySELF, I have, ah, arrived at a theory guaranteed to promote everlasting peace and tranquility in a PM family!


You're KIDDING, right? No! My HERO! Oh, shut UP, Cecil! Little stinker ...

The technique is as follows. Speak with each wife in a different language!

Forbid them, on pain of excommunication or a merciless tickling, from learning each other's language, although as a practical matter, all may speak English. But not in the home!

All pillow talk, with the exception of certain involuntary cries of, um, enCOURAGEment and, er, satisFACTion *blushing*
(and he does it so WELL!) MUST be in the designated language.

Yuppers! That should DO it! It does no good to try to tell someone off in Spanish if they only speak Korean or Swahili. (Don't count on Tagalog! My friends say it is too easy to learn!)
... Yo! Where did SB find a Philippino Gnome? ...

And if they DO try to argue back, their accent will have you in stitches to the point that you CAN'T argue! Ergo, PEACE!

By George, I think he's GOT it! ... *PAUSE* ... Oops! Um, Sir BumbleBerry, there's a flaw in your logic.

Is NOT!!!

You wanna HEAR it or ya wanna sulk?

Oh NO! You're RIGHT!!!

Speak to one wife in Swahili, and both the Latina and the Korean will be DEMANDING to know what you said to HER! So you'll have to repeat everything 3x.


Yup.

'Cause the Latina and the Korean use LOTS of red pepper when they cook, and the Swahili uses ... whatever THAT stuff is, and you HAVE to LIKE it!

Yup.

Oh, darn! *Zoo-oo-oom*

And there he goes! Hey! Wait just a minute Sir BumbleBerry. Those are MY gumdrops! ...

Later folks. Gotta go catch the little miscreant before he gives himself a belly-ache ...
 
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