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Living Together or Separate?

S

seekHim1

Member
I know this topic has been discussed here and there, but I'd like to hear from those actually living PM to share what you think the benefits and downsides are to living together or wives living separately (depending which applies to you).

Hubby has the "why can't we all just get along?" attitude and I think we all do get along, but there are various stresses to all living together especially with a bunch of small children and I'm just wondering what others have found regarding which works better for your family and why. I know of at least one family on here where the wives live separately, but from what I'm told, the plan is to all be together eventually. Did you ever all live together?

I'll just leave it at that and wait to hear from everyone.
 
But having more than one kitchen is a real blessing.
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Good golly, I can attest to that ;) Lol, even when MIL lived with us, I could have told anyone that a 2nd kitchen would have been a huge blessing ;) I'm not sure women were meant to share a kitchen ;) Lol, or at least I wasn't :)

Anyway, back to the point.... There are times when I would love to have separate living spaces, or at the very least, larger living space. As it is, we're a bit more cramped than I would personally prefer, but I'm also coming from the viewpoint of having been an only child, now surrounded by 6 children, a hubby, and a sw. I feel very cramped, especially in my tiny kitchen. My hope is that some day we will be able to get a place that will be suitable for all of us to have adequate personal space, but the feasibility of that just isn't in the cards right now.
 
OK, so there is only one person out there living PM who can chime in? It would be great to hear from someone, anyone else who actually lives this out...not from the majority on here who just talk "in theory."
 
As you know, I have not actually lived it out. It has always been our goal to live together, but that still hasn't happened. So I can't really contribute here. I do know that JulieB has lived it both ways. She would have some great insight for you. Maybe you should PM her and ask her to read/post here. I bet she hasn't even seen this thread.

SweetLissa
 
Well, I guess I better respond after that, Lissa. :D

SeekHim1,

My family lived together for about 7 years and after that has lived in different but close by houses for the last 6 years. I personally think that living in one house, if the house can accommodate everyone pretty well, is the best way for most families. It is more economical and it gives more of a sense of family for the kids. It also forces you to truly walk in all those “Christian beliefs” you say you believe in. :) But, for some this just doesn’t work well for various reasons. In our case, we had our reasons for the separate homes but now we desire to someday soon be on one property with a large home or at least two next to each other. N and I do better with our own kitchens and space. :) It is hardest on the kids and Nathan to have to go back and forth right now. Thankfully we have houses within walking distance for the kids and they are older now also.

Each family has to figure out what works best for them and it will have many determining factors that are unique to each family. Financial ability, number of children, each wife’s needs, etc. It also doesn’t have to stay the same way forever. There are different seasons in every family.

FYI, there is a thread on the Ladies Only forum called Living Arrangements, page 3. You might enjoy reading those responses.

With hope for the future,
Julie
 
Thank you for your input, Julie. I appreciate it. I will be sure to check out the thread you mentioned. I find it funny when people keep talking about the kitchen thing - that isn't an issue on this end. It is other stressors with all living together which for me, a lot of it has to do with all the small children being together (which I talk about in another thread). It is a lot more peaceful/ordered when they are not all together all the time. It looks like there is a possibility to actually buy the house next door which would be a big deal since hubby basically said that would be the only way he would do the separate living. So, I guess that might be an answer to prayer for SW and me.
 
I will be praying that things work out regarding the house or that some other solution will be found to bring a bit more peace. Lots of young children certainly requires a great deal of patience. :) I am glad you and SW are able to share the kitchen well. I know it is a point of difficulty for many ladies but I have run into a few families that loved to cook altogether or the ladies especially liked to cook together. I think it was their time to connect each day, which is a really neat thing in my book.

Keep talking it all out with our husband and SW, then I am sure you will find a good solution for your family.

Julie
 
Thanks for you input Julie. As far as experience with Biblical Marriage goes, it seems that you have it all. Your input is always well thought out and much appreciated.
 
Aw, Lissa, your making me blush! Thanks for all your generous words.

Love you,
Julie
 
I found the perfect housing situation today. It was called a "dog run" cabin. It had two separate cabins that are joined overhead by a roof and underneath by a wooden floor. Across the front is a wooden porch. But between the two is a breezeway. A duplex cabin! From the 1800's in Irving TX.

I will post the picture in my facebook.

SweetLissa
 
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