MARRIAGE, DIVORCE, REMARRIAGE, CONCUBINES, POLYGYNY & JESUS;
Another Look for Christians.
COPYRIGHT JANUARY 14, 1995 All rights reserved. Portions of this file/document may be posted/published as long as the paragraph of the portion, the paragraph before the portion and the paragraph after the portion are included without any additional breaks or spaces, and the source and author are included with the protion posted/published.
Copyright 01/12/96; 11/10/05; 5/13/09 (Revised)
By L. Tyler P.O. Box 620763, SanDiego, CA 92162-0763
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PolyPolygamyPolygnyNJesus
http://groups.google.com/group/Biblical ... myPolygyny
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/OrthodoxB ... ePolygamy2
http://community.eons.com/groups/group/ ... -maritally
http://groups.myspace.com/BiblicalChristianPoly
http://meetup.com/SanDiegoChristianPolygyny
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/OrthodoxB ... gePolygamy
http://groups.google.com/group/Biblical ... myPolygyny
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PolyPolyg ... gynyNJesus
http://biblicalmarriagepolygyny.yuku.com/forums/66
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>PART ONE<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
TOPICS: FOREVER MARRIAGES CROSS CULTURALLY, FORMAL AND INFORMAL CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE, COMMON LAW MARRIAGE, CHRISTIAN DIVORCE, CHRISTIAN REMARRIAGE, CHRISTIAN CONCUBINES, CHRISTIAN POLYGYNY (POLYGAMY), RACISM, ETHNOCENTRICITY, AND THE SWEARING OF OATHS
This work is dedicated with love and honor to Carol Lynn McIntyre (of Oceanside's Camelot), Beverly Tyler (of Tennessee}, Diane Tava Lovelady (of Santee CA), Lua Nguyen (of Vietnam), Marilyn Tyler (of Canada), Paula D. (of San Diego, CA); Meli Bunnell (of Tepic, Nyarit Mex), and Carmen Guerrero (of Mazatlan, Mex).
This document can be found at the following Yahoo web site:
http://f1.grp.yahoofs.com/v1/0KE1SaZ0jW ... W4bHtUFhOz
PxUf-RofJi6Vm2MKkPz7YvxCrELCu4djqFK9eCs8dxJPA/PolyMarriajDivorsReunion07.htm
It is also dedicated to all those who have suffered through divorce and the complexities of
remarriage, and to all of the following:
1. The shattered African polygynist husbands and their families who are made to feel like
second class citizens in the local church because of their polygyny, made to feel less loved
by Christ and made to feel less a child of God by the local "Christians".
2. The broken hearted Chinese polygynist wives and their children in their local churches
who are shunned by the "proper Christian" women and made to feel less welcome and
spiritually inferior because of their polygynous families.
3. The devastated Burmese polygynist husbands who believe in and have received the
Lord Jesus Christ, but who are rejected and shunned by the local "Christian"
church/leader because they love their wives too much to divorce them.
4. The grieved, stumbled, offended and broken hearted born-again and Spirit sealed Indian
wives and children of the born-again and Spirit sealed husband who loved his wives and
children too much to renounce and repudiate them in order to be baptized and accepted
by the local"Christian' church, and so now live in Christ, denied fellowship by their local
congregation of "Christians".
5. The discouraged Mid-Eastern polygynist husbands who genuinely wanted to know
Christ and the fellowship of the saints but who were embittered and kept from saving
faith by the campaign of "Christian" leaders/churches against them and their polygyny. It
would be no surprise if they were the most active in the community in resisting the
Gospel and those who preach it. Talk about closing a door and making an enemy of the
Gospel!
6. The troubled Liberian polygynist wives and children who genuinely wanted to know
Christ and the fellowship of the saints but who were embittered and kept from saving
faith by the campaign of "Christian" leaders/women against them and their polygyny. It
would be no surprise if they were the most active in the community in resisting the
Gospel and those who preach it. Talk about closing a door and making an enemy of the
Gospel!
7. The broken hearted, stumbled, offended and grieved Kenyan polygynist wives and
their children whose husbands and fathers were forced to reject and renounce them in
order to be baptized and join the local "Christian" church.; especially in the case where a
carnal husband used the church rule as an excuse to get rid of a wife and children he didn't
want.
8. The disconsolate Pakistani polygynist husbands who are stumbled, grieved, offended
and broken in their faith and love for the Lord Jesus Christ because of how badly they
and their loved ones have been treated by the local "Christian" leader/church.
9. The grief stricken Bengali polygynist wives and children who are stumbled, grieved,
offended and broken in their faith and love for the Lord Jesus Christ because of how
badly they and their loved ones have been treated by the "Christian" women of the local church.
10. The miserable Thai polygynist husbands who, with grave doubts and troubled hearts,
succumbed to "Christian" pressure to renounce and reject (Malachi 2:13-17) all of their
wives except one to satisfy the demands of some misguided "Christian" leader, or
association of "Christians".
11. The miserable American Christian woman, a genuine believer in Christ, who divorced her
genuinely saved Christian husband for "irreconcilable differences" as her pastor recommended,
married a "more godly" man, and now has realized that the Bible says she is maritally bound to her genuinely saved exhusband in the Kingdom of God as long as they both live, making her present marriage adultery - - - and she doesn't know what to do.
12. The miserable American Christian man, a genuine believer in Christ, who was divorced by his genuinely saved Christian wife for "irreconcilable differences" as her pastor recommended, who has gone on and married a "godly" Christian woman, and now has realized that the Bible says he is maritally bound to his genuinely saved exwife in the Kingdom of God as long as they both live, and he doesn't know what to do about the situation.
TABLE OF CONTENTS (PLEASE USE YOUR FIND TOOL TO FIND THE
CHAPTER BY THE CHAPTER ROMAN NUMERAL)
I. INTRODUCTION: PRIORITIES RECONSIDERED.
II. DIVORCE! A PLAGUE AND ITS CONSEQUENCES.
III. DIVORCE DEFINED, A Surprise
IV. & V. VARIETIES OF MARRIAGE IN THE BIBLE, OLD AND NEW
TESTAMENTS -- LET THE WORD SPEAK ABOUT POLYGYNY AND CONCUBINES!
VI. ADULTERY DEFINED: A SURPRISE! ISNT POLYGYNY ADULTERY?
VII. SO, WHAT ABOUT CONCUBINES & POLYGYNY TODAY IN MY
COUNTRY?
VIII. ARE POLYGYNISTS AND CONCUBINES LIVING IN ERROR TODAY?
IX. MARRIAGE, CONCUBINES, CIVIL LAW, PERSONAL LIBERTY AND A
LOVING CONSCIENCE!
X. DOES GOD FORGIVE BROKEN VOWS, DIVORCE AND ADULTERY?
XI. CAN YOU COME BACK TOGETHER & REMMARY AFTER ADULTEROUS
REMARRIAGE?
XII. WHAT ABOUT THE HEALTH QUESTIONS INVOLVED IN SUCH
REUNIONS?
XIII. CAN ADULTERY, DIVORCE, VOWS AND REPENTANCE RESULT IN
POLYGYNY/CONCUBINAGE?
XIV. ADULTERY, DIVORCE, CONCUBINES, POLYGYNY AND THE UNSAVED.
XV. THE MARRIED MAN WHO WOULD ADD WIVES/CONCUBINES TO HIS
"HAREM".
XVI. ARE POLYGYNY & CONCUBINES OPTIONS FOR THE ABANDONED
MAN?
XVII. POLYGYNISTS, CONCUBINES AND THE LEADERS OF GOD'S PEOPLE.
XVIII. POLYGYNY & CONCUBINES AND THE WESTERN CHRISTIAN WOMAN.
XIX. WHAT'S WRONG WITH POLYANDRY?
XX. HUSBAND RULE OVER THE WIFE? IF SERVANT-TEACHERS RULE .
XXI. THREE CHEERS FOR MONOGAMY! THE BEST FOR MOST!
XXII. LISTEN TO THE WORD!
XXIII. BIBLIOGRAPHY
APPENDIX ONE: WHAT MAKES A WEDDING &/OR A MARRIAGE?
APPENDIX TWO: WHEN MUST ONE MARRY?
APPENDIX THREE: THE PRACTICE OF POLYGYNY IN AN HOSTILE
ENVIRONMENT
I. INTRODUCTION: PRIORITIES AND PARADIGMS RECONSIDERED
This study is the result of my own marital experience where I was divorced from my wife
and both of us claimed sincerely and earnestly that we were born again believers in the
Lord Jesus Christ. I was faced with the question, "What does a Christian do about his/her
need to marry when in a divorced-from-one and wanting-to- marrry-another situation, and
he believes that he/she and the Christian exmate are bound to each other maritally by the
Lord until death parts them?" Or ---- "What does a Christian do in a divorced-from-one
and remarried-to-another situation, and he/she believes that he/she and the Christian
exmate are bound to each other maritally by the Lord until death parts them?" And the
moral question: "Is it adultery or is it something else?"
As I read the papers and listen to the news many questions come to my mind. According
to the census department, 40% of Black women never marry. Single parent households
abound. Welfare undermines marriage by giving the mother an artificial and unearned
financial independence of the father. It gives them the option of being able to have a child
without having or needing a husband. It is very difficult for most man to comfortably stay
with a woman who doesnt need him and often has a more sure and steady income than he
has. Where are the Black men who love and desire these Black women? TV news special
after news magazine articles after newspaper articles tell about so many Black men who
are in serious trouble with the law. For many this reflects a economically crippling
attitude towards authority, society, their families, their women and their children. This
crisis for so many Black men, not wanted or needed by their women and rejected by the
majority society, is devastating to the Black family. So what is the solution for sincere
Black Christians dealing with the issues of divorce and remarriage in this context? I believe
this document has some radical but realistic solutions.
What about the widows of Rwanda, Burundi, Somalia, Viet Nam, Cambodia, Sri Lanka
and Bosnia? Are they doomed to a lifelong widowhood, never to remarry because of the scarcity of
men? Is remarriage not possible where there are so many more women than men? What
kind of life in those countries is a widow or a single mother doomed to when they are not
able to remarry? I believe this document has some radical but realistic solutions for such
people, especially if they are of the Judeo-Christian persuasion.
Our relationships with our mates and our children are second in importance and emotional
intensity only to our relationship with Jesus. In San Diego's Union-Tribune several
months ('95) ago they reported on a study of the effects of divorce that involved
thousands and lasted over 20 years. The social scientists screened the participants so that
they had two groups that basically differed as follows, one whose parents had divorced or
separated and the other group whose parents did not divorce or separate. They found that
the average life expectancy was five years longer for the group whose parents did not
divorce. Divorce made a five year difference in the life expectancy of the two groups.
Dr. Griffith Banning conducted a study of 800 Canadian children.It was reported that
their parents' divorce, death or separation, resulting in the children's felt lack of love and
affection, did greater damage to their growth and development than disease and all other
factors combined.>a
[>a Love, by Leo Buscaglia, Fawcett Crest, NY,1972,p.78
What we do with our marital relationships has a profound effect not only on us, but on
our children, for a lifetime. We already know that a divorce, statistically, usually results in
serious health problems ranging from ulcers and cardiovascular problems to hormonal and
emotional problems. Divorce can devastate us and our loved ones. How can we afford to
let our marriages, which Jesus intended to arenas filled with love and testimonies of His
life changing all-sufficiency, become instead arenas of suffering, bitterness and hatred ---
trophies for the enemy of our souls?
Yet look at the relationship most of us have with our loved ones and our God. Most of us
live our lives devoid of the life changing power and compassionate cherishing of our living
and reigning God. Most of us are falling short of compassionately cherishing our mates
and children. We wonder why we dont see the power of God in our lives. Yet how can
Jesus bless us miraculously and and powerfully intervene in our lives when we have let
ourselves become so entangled in the cares and affairs of our daily lives that the Spirit in
us is chocked and rendered fruitless. It is not just a matter of seeking first the Kingdom of
God and His righteousness, which most of us fall short of by letting TV or other personal
pleasures rob us of the time we could spend with Jesus. It goes even beyond that.
For many of us the question is , Why is our relationship with our living and powerful
God so lifeless and embarrassingly weak? Why is there such a great discrepancy between
the the life changing power of God we believe in, and the disastisfying mediocrity and
ineffectiveness of most of our lives? We know that if we walk in His will and do those
things that are pleasing in His sight, He hears our prayers and supernaturally intervenes in
our lives (1Jn3:21-24; 5:14,15), so when we fail to walk in His will and fail to do those
things that are pleasing to Him we should not be surprised at the spiritually impotent
lives and testimonies we have. What a tragedy to lose the battle for the souls of our
children and loved ones because we stuck with bad or foolish choices.
Specifically with this study I try to discover and share what I understand to be His will
for us maritally. I try to show that an adulterous marriage, an adulterous remarriage, and
or an adulterous divorce can gut our walk in the power of our God, leaving us with an
impotent and sterile life and testimony that is bad enough in and of itself; but when you add
the chastening of our God to an
impotent and sterile life, it can be enough to break your heart and spirit. But isnt that
why He sends the chastening of weakness and sickness (1 Cor. 11) or the chastening of
poverty, strife, diseases and animal attacks (Ezek 14) ---- to break our stiff necks and
hard hearts so He, as the potter, can remake us in our confession and repentance? Are you
experiencing this chastening? Do you think it might be due to an ungodly divorce or
marriage? Do you wonder what you should do about it? Please read this study.
This study is written as a wake up call to Christians who have fallen into marriages,
divorces and remarriages that are contrary to the will of God and now want to know what
they should do. A child of God wants to do the will of God (1Jn2:3,4,5).We know that
our God has told us in 1 Pet. 3 that if we fail to live wisely with our wives, our prayers
will be hindered. He has told us that in Isaiah 59:1,2 that he wont hear our prayers if we
fall into disobedience and fail to be Ambassadors of His Love. This study is for the
person who is not sure about the will of God facing a divorce, marriage or remarriage. This
study is for the divorced, the married and the remarried who find themselves in a situation
that neither affords them the peace nor the joy of the God who longs to fill their lives
with both. Hopefully this study will be used of God to shed some light on those
heartbreaking and unfulfilling situations. Please hear the Word in this study, and be brave
in the Lord to do His will, no matter what the cost.
Dear reader, I exhort you to test, try, prove, examine, scrutinize and check against the
Word every idea or concept in this document that seems questionable, doubtful or radical.
Stay with what you understand the Word to say. What you will read is where I have
arrived in the quest for His will. It is very controversial and I believe it is controversial
because I came to this quest as a scholar, an anthro-pologist and a child of God who
earnestly wants to know his Father's will. So "Here I stand!" ---- until further
enlightenment from the Father.
This study is based on the understanding of the Word of God that a godly marriage of
two godly people is for life, and that they are bound by God to each other maritally until
death dissolves the marriage. It is an attempt to catch the mind of the God who hates
divorce and who hates the breaking of wedding covenants. It is an attempt to understand
the marital will of the God who doesnt want us to be foolish vow breaking fools in whom
he has no pleasure. This document is written from a "Christian", fundamental, evangelical,
dispensationalist, etc. point of view for those who understand that point of view. The
followers, or disciples, of Jesus Christ are called "Christians", and for them loving
obedience to their Lord and King is the paramount issue in all matters of human life.
What does "Christian" mean? Who is the God of one who is called a "Christian"? Jesus is
God revealed in the flesh-blood-bone body, God's only incarnate Son, physically begotten
of the virgin Mary, God's Mediator of the New Covenant, Savior and Redeemer of all
who obediently believe, King of Kings, Lord of all soon to return visibly, Creator of all
things that have ever existed (including Michael, Lucifer, Satan, Gabriel), and Judge of all
humans soon to return visibly in His resurrected flesh and bone body. What is a
"Christian"? Without controversy the Word is clear that we are saved and born again
Spiritually as a result of the following:
(1) His unearned compassion He had for us even before we know Him, which compassion
moved Him to give His only begotten Son to bear our sins and die in our place.
(2) His enlightening us about who He is, convincing us of our sins and His righteous
judgment of sin, and constraining us to accept Him while we are still spiritually dead in
our sins. [John 1:9,12; 16:7-11]
(3) His giving us the gift of belief/faith in God (revealed as Jesus Christ, His miraculous
birth, His holy life, His undeserved and substitutionary death, and His resurrection
demonstrating His victory over death and sin) in spite of our spiritual blindness and death
[James 1:17]
(4) Our willingness >1 to accept and use His gift of belief is met with His enabling >2 us
to have and exercise genuine faith in Him as our King, God and Savior in every area of our
life. [>1 2 Corinth. 8.; >2 Phil. 2:13; 4:13.]
(5) Since all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags there is no work or deed that we can do
to earn Gods salvation. Our part is to genuinely believe in, accept and submit to His
gracious gift in Jesus Christ.
Okay, so that is what a Christian is . Whats next? I believe that it is obvious that a
Christian should not lean to his own understanding>3 and should not just do that which
seems right to himself>4. I believe that those who are born of God are led by the Spirit of
God Spiritually>5 and by the Word>6 I believe that the believer must acknowledge
Christ's Lordship in every area of his/her life for Christ to be the real and actual
LORD/KING of that believer>7. I agree with the Bible that a Christian's obedience is his
birthmark, the vital and critical proof of having been truly born again of God>8 . Besides
all of that, Jesus said that if I loved Him, I would obey Him, showing my love by my
obedience>9 so of course I want to show my love for Him and show proof of my rebirth
in Him by obeying Him.
[Footnotes:>3 Prov. 3:5,6; >4 Prov. 16:24; >5 Romans 8:13,14.; >6 Psalm
119:9,11,24,32,72,89, 93,101, 104,105 ,166,167; >7 Prov. 3:5,6; Romans 12:1,2; 1 Cor.
6:19, 20 etc; >8 (1John 2:3,4,5; 3:10, 24; 5:2,3; Hebrews 5:8,9); >9 (John 14:15,21).]
Yes, I realize that obeying Him is not necessarily obeying Christian leaders and teachers
because if they teach the traditions and commandments of men>10 instead of or along
with the commandments and traditions of God, they make the Way of God null, void and
ineffective. Yes, I know that God can use godly men and Christian leaders/teachers to
show us His Way>11 but surely it is our responsibility to be like the Bereans>12,
testing-trying-examining-scrutinizing>13 all of their teachings and leadership to see if it
conforms to the Word of God, holding fast to what we find to be true/good. We need to
diligently search the Word to find the will of God, especially in the matter of
controversial and questionable things.
[Footnotes:>10 (Matthew 15:1-9; Mark 7:1-15); >11 (Hebrews 13:7; >12 of Acts
17:11.31; >13 1 John4:1-4 and 1 Thess. 5:21.]
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>END OF PART ONE<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Another Look for Christians.
COPYRIGHT JANUARY 14, 1995 All rights reserved. Portions of this file/document may be posted/published as long as the paragraph of the portion, the paragraph before the portion and the paragraph after the portion are included without any additional breaks or spaces, and the source and author are included with the protion posted/published.
Copyright 01/12/96; 11/10/05; 5/13/09 (Revised)
By L. Tyler P.O. Box 620763, SanDiego, CA 92162-0763
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PolyPolygamyPolygnyNJesus
http://groups.google.com/group/Biblical ... myPolygyny
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/OrthodoxB ... ePolygamy2
http://community.eons.com/groups/group/ ... -maritally
http://groups.myspace.com/BiblicalChristianPoly
http://meetup.com/SanDiegoChristianPolygyny
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/OrthodoxB ... gePolygamy
http://groups.google.com/group/Biblical ... myPolygyny
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PolyPolyg ... gynyNJesus
http://biblicalmarriagepolygyny.yuku.com/forums/66
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>PART ONE<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
TOPICS: FOREVER MARRIAGES CROSS CULTURALLY, FORMAL AND INFORMAL CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE, COMMON LAW MARRIAGE, CHRISTIAN DIVORCE, CHRISTIAN REMARRIAGE, CHRISTIAN CONCUBINES, CHRISTIAN POLYGYNY (POLYGAMY), RACISM, ETHNOCENTRICITY, AND THE SWEARING OF OATHS
This work is dedicated with love and honor to Carol Lynn McIntyre (of Oceanside's Camelot), Beverly Tyler (of Tennessee}, Diane Tava Lovelady (of Santee CA), Lua Nguyen (of Vietnam), Marilyn Tyler (of Canada), Paula D. (of San Diego, CA); Meli Bunnell (of Tepic, Nyarit Mex), and Carmen Guerrero (of Mazatlan, Mex).
This document can be found at the following Yahoo web site:
http://f1.grp.yahoofs.com/v1/0KE1SaZ0jW ... W4bHtUFhOz
PxUf-RofJi6Vm2MKkPz7YvxCrELCu4djqFK9eCs8dxJPA/PolyMarriajDivorsReunion07.htm
It is also dedicated to all those who have suffered through divorce and the complexities of
remarriage, and to all of the following:
1. The shattered African polygynist husbands and their families who are made to feel like
second class citizens in the local church because of their polygyny, made to feel less loved
by Christ and made to feel less a child of God by the local "Christians".
2. The broken hearted Chinese polygynist wives and their children in their local churches
who are shunned by the "proper Christian" women and made to feel less welcome and
spiritually inferior because of their polygynous families.
3. The devastated Burmese polygynist husbands who believe in and have received the
Lord Jesus Christ, but who are rejected and shunned by the local "Christian"
church/leader because they love their wives too much to divorce them.
4. The grieved, stumbled, offended and broken hearted born-again and Spirit sealed Indian
wives and children of the born-again and Spirit sealed husband who loved his wives and
children too much to renounce and repudiate them in order to be baptized and accepted
by the local"Christian' church, and so now live in Christ, denied fellowship by their local
congregation of "Christians".
5. The discouraged Mid-Eastern polygynist husbands who genuinely wanted to know
Christ and the fellowship of the saints but who were embittered and kept from saving
faith by the campaign of "Christian" leaders/churches against them and their polygyny. It
would be no surprise if they were the most active in the community in resisting the
Gospel and those who preach it. Talk about closing a door and making an enemy of the
Gospel!
6. The troubled Liberian polygynist wives and children who genuinely wanted to know
Christ and the fellowship of the saints but who were embittered and kept from saving
faith by the campaign of "Christian" leaders/women against them and their polygyny. It
would be no surprise if they were the most active in the community in resisting the
Gospel and those who preach it. Talk about closing a door and making an enemy of the
Gospel!
7. The broken hearted, stumbled, offended and grieved Kenyan polygynist wives and
their children whose husbands and fathers were forced to reject and renounce them in
order to be baptized and join the local "Christian" church.; especially in the case where a
carnal husband used the church rule as an excuse to get rid of a wife and children he didn't
want.
8. The disconsolate Pakistani polygynist husbands who are stumbled, grieved, offended
and broken in their faith and love for the Lord Jesus Christ because of how badly they
and their loved ones have been treated by the local "Christian" leader/church.
9. The grief stricken Bengali polygynist wives and children who are stumbled, grieved,
offended and broken in their faith and love for the Lord Jesus Christ because of how
badly they and their loved ones have been treated by the "Christian" women of the local church.
10. The miserable Thai polygynist husbands who, with grave doubts and troubled hearts,
succumbed to "Christian" pressure to renounce and reject (Malachi 2:13-17) all of their
wives except one to satisfy the demands of some misguided "Christian" leader, or
association of "Christians".
11. The miserable American Christian woman, a genuine believer in Christ, who divorced her
genuinely saved Christian husband for "irreconcilable differences" as her pastor recommended,
married a "more godly" man, and now has realized that the Bible says she is maritally bound to her genuinely saved exhusband in the Kingdom of God as long as they both live, making her present marriage adultery - - - and she doesn't know what to do.
12. The miserable American Christian man, a genuine believer in Christ, who was divorced by his genuinely saved Christian wife for "irreconcilable differences" as her pastor recommended, who has gone on and married a "godly" Christian woman, and now has realized that the Bible says he is maritally bound to his genuinely saved exwife in the Kingdom of God as long as they both live, and he doesn't know what to do about the situation.
TABLE OF CONTENTS (PLEASE USE YOUR FIND TOOL TO FIND THE
CHAPTER BY THE CHAPTER ROMAN NUMERAL)
I. INTRODUCTION: PRIORITIES RECONSIDERED.
II. DIVORCE! A PLAGUE AND ITS CONSEQUENCES.
III. DIVORCE DEFINED, A Surprise
IV. & V. VARIETIES OF MARRIAGE IN THE BIBLE, OLD AND NEW
TESTAMENTS -- LET THE WORD SPEAK ABOUT POLYGYNY AND CONCUBINES!
VI. ADULTERY DEFINED: A SURPRISE! ISNT POLYGYNY ADULTERY?
VII. SO, WHAT ABOUT CONCUBINES & POLYGYNY TODAY IN MY
COUNTRY?
VIII. ARE POLYGYNISTS AND CONCUBINES LIVING IN ERROR TODAY?
IX. MARRIAGE, CONCUBINES, CIVIL LAW, PERSONAL LIBERTY AND A
LOVING CONSCIENCE!
X. DOES GOD FORGIVE BROKEN VOWS, DIVORCE AND ADULTERY?
XI. CAN YOU COME BACK TOGETHER & REMMARY AFTER ADULTEROUS
REMARRIAGE?
XII. WHAT ABOUT THE HEALTH QUESTIONS INVOLVED IN SUCH
REUNIONS?
XIII. CAN ADULTERY, DIVORCE, VOWS AND REPENTANCE RESULT IN
POLYGYNY/CONCUBINAGE?
XIV. ADULTERY, DIVORCE, CONCUBINES, POLYGYNY AND THE UNSAVED.
XV. THE MARRIED MAN WHO WOULD ADD WIVES/CONCUBINES TO HIS
"HAREM".
XVI. ARE POLYGYNY & CONCUBINES OPTIONS FOR THE ABANDONED
MAN?
XVII. POLYGYNISTS, CONCUBINES AND THE LEADERS OF GOD'S PEOPLE.
XVIII. POLYGYNY & CONCUBINES AND THE WESTERN CHRISTIAN WOMAN.
XIX. WHAT'S WRONG WITH POLYANDRY?
XX. HUSBAND RULE OVER THE WIFE? IF SERVANT-TEACHERS RULE .
XXI. THREE CHEERS FOR MONOGAMY! THE BEST FOR MOST!
XXII. LISTEN TO THE WORD!
XXIII. BIBLIOGRAPHY
APPENDIX ONE: WHAT MAKES A WEDDING &/OR A MARRIAGE?
APPENDIX TWO: WHEN MUST ONE MARRY?
APPENDIX THREE: THE PRACTICE OF POLYGYNY IN AN HOSTILE
ENVIRONMENT
I. INTRODUCTION: PRIORITIES AND PARADIGMS RECONSIDERED
This study is the result of my own marital experience where I was divorced from my wife
and both of us claimed sincerely and earnestly that we were born again believers in the
Lord Jesus Christ. I was faced with the question, "What does a Christian do about his/her
need to marry when in a divorced-from-one and wanting-to- marrry-another situation, and
he believes that he/she and the Christian exmate are bound to each other maritally by the
Lord until death parts them?" Or ---- "What does a Christian do in a divorced-from-one
and remarried-to-another situation, and he/she believes that he/she and the Christian
exmate are bound to each other maritally by the Lord until death parts them?" And the
moral question: "Is it adultery or is it something else?"
As I read the papers and listen to the news many questions come to my mind. According
to the census department, 40% of Black women never marry. Single parent households
abound. Welfare undermines marriage by giving the mother an artificial and unearned
financial independence of the father. It gives them the option of being able to have a child
without having or needing a husband. It is very difficult for most man to comfortably stay
with a woman who doesnt need him and often has a more sure and steady income than he
has. Where are the Black men who love and desire these Black women? TV news special
after news magazine articles after newspaper articles tell about so many Black men who
are in serious trouble with the law. For many this reflects a economically crippling
attitude towards authority, society, their families, their women and their children. This
crisis for so many Black men, not wanted or needed by their women and rejected by the
majority society, is devastating to the Black family. So what is the solution for sincere
Black Christians dealing with the issues of divorce and remarriage in this context? I believe
this document has some radical but realistic solutions.
What about the widows of Rwanda, Burundi, Somalia, Viet Nam, Cambodia, Sri Lanka
and Bosnia? Are they doomed to a lifelong widowhood, never to remarry because of the scarcity of
men? Is remarriage not possible where there are so many more women than men? What
kind of life in those countries is a widow or a single mother doomed to when they are not
able to remarry? I believe this document has some radical but realistic solutions for such
people, especially if they are of the Judeo-Christian persuasion.
Our relationships with our mates and our children are second in importance and emotional
intensity only to our relationship with Jesus. In San Diego's Union-Tribune several
months ('95) ago they reported on a study of the effects of divorce that involved
thousands and lasted over 20 years. The social scientists screened the participants so that
they had two groups that basically differed as follows, one whose parents had divorced or
separated and the other group whose parents did not divorce or separate. They found that
the average life expectancy was five years longer for the group whose parents did not
divorce. Divorce made a five year difference in the life expectancy of the two groups.
Dr. Griffith Banning conducted a study of 800 Canadian children.It was reported that
their parents' divorce, death or separation, resulting in the children's felt lack of love and
affection, did greater damage to their growth and development than disease and all other
factors combined.>a
[>a Love, by Leo Buscaglia, Fawcett Crest, NY,1972,p.78
What we do with our marital relationships has a profound effect not only on us, but on
our children, for a lifetime. We already know that a divorce, statistically, usually results in
serious health problems ranging from ulcers and cardiovascular problems to hormonal and
emotional problems. Divorce can devastate us and our loved ones. How can we afford to
let our marriages, which Jesus intended to arenas filled with love and testimonies of His
life changing all-sufficiency, become instead arenas of suffering, bitterness and hatred ---
trophies for the enemy of our souls?
Yet look at the relationship most of us have with our loved ones and our God. Most of us
live our lives devoid of the life changing power and compassionate cherishing of our living
and reigning God. Most of us are falling short of compassionately cherishing our mates
and children. We wonder why we dont see the power of God in our lives. Yet how can
Jesus bless us miraculously and and powerfully intervene in our lives when we have let
ourselves become so entangled in the cares and affairs of our daily lives that the Spirit in
us is chocked and rendered fruitless. It is not just a matter of seeking first the Kingdom of
God and His righteousness, which most of us fall short of by letting TV or other personal
pleasures rob us of the time we could spend with Jesus. It goes even beyond that.
For many of us the question is , Why is our relationship with our living and powerful
God so lifeless and embarrassingly weak? Why is there such a great discrepancy between
the the life changing power of God we believe in, and the disastisfying mediocrity and
ineffectiveness of most of our lives? We know that if we walk in His will and do those
things that are pleasing in His sight, He hears our prayers and supernaturally intervenes in
our lives (1Jn3:21-24; 5:14,15), so when we fail to walk in His will and fail to do those
things that are pleasing to Him we should not be surprised at the spiritually impotent
lives and testimonies we have. What a tragedy to lose the battle for the souls of our
children and loved ones because we stuck with bad or foolish choices.
Specifically with this study I try to discover and share what I understand to be His will
for us maritally. I try to show that an adulterous marriage, an adulterous remarriage, and
or an adulterous divorce can gut our walk in the power of our God, leaving us with an
impotent and sterile life and testimony that is bad enough in and of itself; but when you add
the chastening of our God to an
impotent and sterile life, it can be enough to break your heart and spirit. But isnt that
why He sends the chastening of weakness and sickness (1 Cor. 11) or the chastening of
poverty, strife, diseases and animal attacks (Ezek 14) ---- to break our stiff necks and
hard hearts so He, as the potter, can remake us in our confession and repentance? Are you
experiencing this chastening? Do you think it might be due to an ungodly divorce or
marriage? Do you wonder what you should do about it? Please read this study.
This study is written as a wake up call to Christians who have fallen into marriages,
divorces and remarriages that are contrary to the will of God and now want to know what
they should do. A child of God wants to do the will of God (1Jn2:3,4,5).We know that
our God has told us in 1 Pet. 3 that if we fail to live wisely with our wives, our prayers
will be hindered. He has told us that in Isaiah 59:1,2 that he wont hear our prayers if we
fall into disobedience and fail to be Ambassadors of His Love. This study is for the
person who is not sure about the will of God facing a divorce, marriage or remarriage. This
study is for the divorced, the married and the remarried who find themselves in a situation
that neither affords them the peace nor the joy of the God who longs to fill their lives
with both. Hopefully this study will be used of God to shed some light on those
heartbreaking and unfulfilling situations. Please hear the Word in this study, and be brave
in the Lord to do His will, no matter what the cost.
Dear reader, I exhort you to test, try, prove, examine, scrutinize and check against the
Word every idea or concept in this document that seems questionable, doubtful or radical.
Stay with what you understand the Word to say. What you will read is where I have
arrived in the quest for His will. It is very controversial and I believe it is controversial
because I came to this quest as a scholar, an anthro-pologist and a child of God who
earnestly wants to know his Father's will. So "Here I stand!" ---- until further
enlightenment from the Father.
This study is based on the understanding of the Word of God that a godly marriage of
two godly people is for life, and that they are bound by God to each other maritally until
death dissolves the marriage. It is an attempt to catch the mind of the God who hates
divorce and who hates the breaking of wedding covenants. It is an attempt to understand
the marital will of the God who doesnt want us to be foolish vow breaking fools in whom
he has no pleasure. This document is written from a "Christian", fundamental, evangelical,
dispensationalist, etc. point of view for those who understand that point of view. The
followers, or disciples, of Jesus Christ are called "Christians", and for them loving
obedience to their Lord and King is the paramount issue in all matters of human life.
What does "Christian" mean? Who is the God of one who is called a "Christian"? Jesus is
God revealed in the flesh-blood-bone body, God's only incarnate Son, physically begotten
of the virgin Mary, God's Mediator of the New Covenant, Savior and Redeemer of all
who obediently believe, King of Kings, Lord of all soon to return visibly, Creator of all
things that have ever existed (including Michael, Lucifer, Satan, Gabriel), and Judge of all
humans soon to return visibly in His resurrected flesh and bone body. What is a
"Christian"? Without controversy the Word is clear that we are saved and born again
Spiritually as a result of the following:
(1) His unearned compassion He had for us even before we know Him, which compassion
moved Him to give His only begotten Son to bear our sins and die in our place.
(2) His enlightening us about who He is, convincing us of our sins and His righteous
judgment of sin, and constraining us to accept Him while we are still spiritually dead in
our sins. [John 1:9,12; 16:7-11]
(3) His giving us the gift of belief/faith in God (revealed as Jesus Christ, His miraculous
birth, His holy life, His undeserved and substitutionary death, and His resurrection
demonstrating His victory over death and sin) in spite of our spiritual blindness and death
[James 1:17]
(4) Our willingness >1 to accept and use His gift of belief is met with His enabling >2 us
to have and exercise genuine faith in Him as our King, God and Savior in every area of our
life. [>1 2 Corinth. 8.; >2 Phil. 2:13; 4:13.]
(5) Since all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags there is no work or deed that we can do
to earn Gods salvation. Our part is to genuinely believe in, accept and submit to His
gracious gift in Jesus Christ.
Okay, so that is what a Christian is . Whats next? I believe that it is obvious that a
Christian should not lean to his own understanding>3 and should not just do that which
seems right to himself>4. I believe that those who are born of God are led by the Spirit of
God Spiritually>5 and by the Word>6 I believe that the believer must acknowledge
Christ's Lordship in every area of his/her life for Christ to be the real and actual
LORD/KING of that believer>7. I agree with the Bible that a Christian's obedience is his
birthmark, the vital and critical proof of having been truly born again of God>8 . Besides
all of that, Jesus said that if I loved Him, I would obey Him, showing my love by my
obedience>9 so of course I want to show my love for Him and show proof of my rebirth
in Him by obeying Him.
[Footnotes:>3 Prov. 3:5,6; >4 Prov. 16:24; >5 Romans 8:13,14.; >6 Psalm
119:9,11,24,32,72,89, 93,101, 104,105 ,166,167; >7 Prov. 3:5,6; Romans 12:1,2; 1 Cor.
6:19, 20 etc; >8 (1John 2:3,4,5; 3:10, 24; 5:2,3; Hebrews 5:8,9); >9 (John 14:15,21).]
Yes, I realize that obeying Him is not necessarily obeying Christian leaders and teachers
because if they teach the traditions and commandments of men>10 instead of or along
with the commandments and traditions of God, they make the Way of God null, void and
ineffective. Yes, I know that God can use godly men and Christian leaders/teachers to
show us His Way>11 but surely it is our responsibility to be like the Bereans>12,
testing-trying-examining-scrutinizing>13 all of their teachings and leadership to see if it
conforms to the Word of God, holding fast to what we find to be true/good. We need to
diligently search the Word to find the will of God, especially in the matter of
controversial and questionable things.
[Footnotes:>10 (Matthew 15:1-9; Mark 7:1-15); >11 (Hebrews 13:7; >12 of Acts
17:11.31; >13 1 John4:1-4 and 1 Thess. 5:21.]
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>END OF PART ONE<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<