Must we be Christian to be Poly? Can we be like 12 steps?

[Diamond]

First of all I need to say I am not christian but I am so very thankful to the generous women in this forum who have shared their time, love, hope and prayers with me it has helped me through the hardest season of my life I hope our friendships can continue.
I have been reading about how AA's 12 step program can be used in anyone's life to improve themselves. (The book is "Waking up Just in Time" by Abraham Twerski). It got me to thinking about how the negative mindsets we firstwives can have towards Poly can be worked through by using the 12 step program. It seems like it takes a lot of introspection and self-work to get through this transition and the support group model is just what I think I need. Can we all be happy that I am calling on my "higher power" as they do in AA and then get on with working through the human emotions most women will struggle through on this road Christian or not?
My vote is this: helping to improve all families will improve our culture overall.

 

[The Revolting Man]

Re: Must we be Christian to be Poly? Can we be like 12 step

Are you asking if it is okay for you to be involved in the group even if you're not a Christian because of the help and support it gives you? I think I can speak for everyone when I say the answer to that is a resounding yes, of course. We couldn't even call ourselves Christians if we rejected non-Christians. The whole reason God gave us His model for marriage was so that we could attempt in our poor ways to model the proper way to relate with Him. Now I will be honest and say that you will probably come to a point where you either accept Christ or lose your interest in associating with Christians. So much of what we believe doesn't make sense or even work for a non-believer.

But anyone who would deny you fellowship and encouragement can't claim the name of Christ, because He was infamous for associating with people who didn't believe in Him.

 

[torahlovesalvation]

Re: Must we be Christian to be Poly? Can we be like 12 step

Just for the sake of better understanding you with us, what are your objections to believing / following him? Hurt from the past? Other religious views? College and evolution? Please, bare your heart so we can see things from your view.

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[mystic]

Re: Must we be Christian to be Poly? Can we be like 12 steps

Diamond, 12-step sounds like a great idea. As for being Christian, most polygamists in the world aren't. And how you got to where you are is none of my business unless you choose to make it so.

 

[Slumberfreeze]

Re: Must we be Christian to be Poly? Can we be like 12 step

Diamond,

With all respect due, I can not be happy that you are calling on a power higher than yourself that is not Jesus and His Father. In the strictest sense of the word, I am at war with your higher power if your higher power does not bend the knee to Christ.

I support your idea of a 12 step program to overcome negative views towards polygamy, and agree that such an implementation would be good for our present culture. Indeed, I hope it works out for you and that you are able to overcome negativity, and follow through with trying to take that message to other women struggling with the same thing.

But even if your message becomes a breakaway success, and you live a long and happy poly lifestyle with your most excellent husband, and the entire culture accepts poly with no negative stigma; if you breathe your last without being reconciled to the Father, I will be sad.

 

[FollowingHim]

Re: Must we be Christian to be Poly? Can we be like 12 step

Diamond, you are certainly welcome here. We have other members who are not Christian. We only ask that they make this clear some way in their signature (go to "Welcome Diamond" in the top right-hand corner, User Control Panel, and edit it there). This is simply so that in a discussion people can know who they are talking to, because otherwise everyone assumes they're talking to a conservative Christian and we can end up with misunderstandings. And, that you remember this is a Christian forum and don't try to argue against Christianity, there are other online forums for those debates which you'd be welcome to use, this one is for discussing marriage from a Christian perspective.

The interpersonal relationship issues are identical if you are Christian or non-Christian. The solutions suggested will sometimes differ. There will also be topics here you have no interest in, and people trying to convert you since ultimately salvation is a whole lot more important than marriage, enjoy the discussions!

 

[Diamond]

Re: Must we be Christian to be Poly? Can we be like 12 step

Thank you all! I do have a deep understanding of and respect for the Christian faith, I don't want to argue about anyone's faith. I also have a lot of "real people" in my life who are Christian so you can rest assured they are praying for me and speaking into my life. I don't plan on getting tired of my Christian family/friends and feeling the need to quit hanging out with them just because they are Christian (i've been immersed in it my whole life).

I do not however have many "real lifefriends" who are Poly. My husband and I have gleaned very helpful things from Christian marriage books and one retreat. When we've had marriage issues in the past we have sought out counsel from friends who have been married for 40 years. That is what I want from this group. Some hope that this can go well, some encouragement and practical wisdom.
Thank you to those of you who are willing to be supportive and encouraging.