• Biblical Families is not a dating website. It is a forum to discuss issues relating to marriage and the Bible, and to offer guidance and support, not to find a wife. Click here for more information.

Not all Wives are Capable of Monogamy Only

Then why can't the first wife do that? Instead of bringing in a second wife? I'm pointing out the one sided-ness of the argument.
There shouldn’t be an argument.
Let me restate the premise as I see it.
If the husband has a stronger sex drive than the wife does, a second wife could very well be a blessing to the couple.
But having that being the reason for marrying a second wife is, in my opinion, an extremely short-sighted reason for embracing the complications of polygyny.
Notwithstanding that that Paul said that it is better for a man to marry than to burn, sex is a terrible focus for a marriage. Life is much too complicated for that to be anyone’s basis for happiness.
No one will ever be perfectly satisfied continually, so it’s best that everyone set aside their Western “I gotta please me” mindset.
 
There shouldn’t be an argument.
Let me restate the premise as I see it.
If the husband has a stronger sex drive than the wife does, a second wife could very well be a blessing to the couple.
But having that being the reason for marrying a second wife is, in my opinion, an extremely short-sighted reason for embracing the complications of polygyny.
Notwithstanding that that Paul said that it is better for a man to marry than to burn, sex is a terrible focus for a marriage. Life is much too complicated for that to be anyone’s basis for happiness.
No one will ever be perfectly satisfied continually, so it’s best that everyone set aside their Western “I gotta please me” mindset.

Ecclesiastes 4:12
A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.

Two wives = more children = stronger household.

In these godless days - where it just takes one spark - a major event - to watch the sparks fly - polygyny is a valid solution for guarding and protecting your household. And, thereby, also helping women that need a covering.

If someone is doing it just for sex - and nothing else - I don’t think it would work out well. Because sex is a small part of the marriage covenant. A man needs to be able to provide food and covering. Being a leader in the household. Spiritually guiding the wives with the Word - which is the Truth - which washes them clean. Helping raise the kids by teaching and instructing them the Word as well. All these are commandments we husbands are responsible for fulfilling. Count the cost:

Yahushua (Jesus) in Luke 14:28

For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it?

It’s work. Additional work. Requirements from our Creator that are to be carried out. So men should count the cost before setting on this course - because it’s not just “additional sex.” There’s even possibility of losing family members and friends. Being kicked out of your denominational church. But it’s a Righteous and Holy and Good form of marriage. Just like monogamy is Righteous, Holy, and Good. Polygyny is just more of something that the Creator said is good for us - for men that are suited, capable, and possibly even divinely ordained of being able to take up that task. Like Paul wrote - each one has his own special gift (1 Corinthians 7:7).
 
Last edited:
Then why can't the first wife do that? Instead of bringing in a second wife? I'm pointing out the one sided-ness of the argument.
This isn't reason.
There shouldn’t be an argument.
Let me restate the premise as I see it.
If the husband has a stronger sex drive than the wife does, a second wife could very well be a blessing to the couple.
What is his sexual drive increases and two wives are enough.

You can't use more wives as solution for higher drive because new wife induces drive. Check Coolidge effect.

Unwilling partner will suddenly find himself willing when in presence of new mating opportunity. Affects all mammals, slight stronger males.
 
Last edited:
1713463273584.png

Why do I have the strange feeling that I know the author of this meme?
 
Then why can't the first wife do that? Instead of bringing in a second wife? I'm pointing out the one sided-ness of the argument.
If this was the only reason to marry, your argument would make some sense. But as there are many reasons to marry, not just sex, your point is irrelevant.

If someone has a problem that they're not having enough sex with their wife, there are other issues going on that they need to fix, and trying to simply patch over this with the band-aid of another wife is ignoring the fundamental problems and maintaining them, letting them fester, probably making them worse, and a recipe for divorce later on. The issues between the husband and wife need to be resolved. Taking a second wife should be a separate matter.
 
If this was the only reason to marry, your argument would make some sense. But as there are many reasons to marry, not just sex, your point is irrelevant.

If someone has a problem that they're not having enough sex with their wife, there are other issues going on that they need to fix, and trying to simply patch over this with the band-aid of another wife is ignoring the fundamental problems and maintaining them, letting them fester, probably making them worse, and a recipe for divorce later on. The issues between the husband and wife need to be resolved. Taking a second wife should be a separate matter.
Could parse out more detail on some of the points but it doesn't always make it better to beat the drum louder.
So, I very much concur
 
You can't use more wives as solution for higher drive because new wife induces drive. Check Coolidge effect.

I totally agree. In my experience and observation when a new wife joins a family the husband is much more interested in sex with the new woman and he can also be much more interested in sex with his existing wives.

Just my own opinion but I suspect a complimentary effect can happen with women.

You see your husband getting frisky with the new lady and you want some of that too! Or else you are the new lady and you were attracted to the husband because he was a proven husband and father.

If you stop and think about it then God had some pretty clever ideas when He designed us! :)
 
I totally agree. In my experience and observation when a new wife joins a family the husband is much more interested in sex with the new woman and he can also be much more interested in sex with his existing wives.

Just my own opinion but I suspect a complimentary effect can happen with women.

You see your husband getting frisky with the new lady and you want some of that too! Or else you are the new lady and you were attracted to the husband because he was a proven husband and father.

If you stop and think about it then God had some pretty clever ideas when He designed us! :)
This is exactly right.
 
It’s good for a woman to be under a covering - with a husband that’s a proven leader and provider.

There’s also divine protections from our Creator for the woman that’s under a man’s covering. We read in Scripture there’s a promise of destruction for any man that takes another man’s wife. This includes, of course, slaying the husband first, and then taking his wives. So there’s divine protection associated with the marriage.The women that are being forced into sex slavery or prostitution are usually not the one’s under a man’s covering.
 
Mine too. ;)
Yep! There is something very validating about another woman choosing (of course that is a two way thing) the man that you "chose."

He may have asked...but we could have declined.
 
Back
Top