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Ranked criteria for your family

paterfamilias

paterfamilias

Seasoned Member
Real Person
Male
I was going to put this in the men's section but it occurs to me that wives will absolutely have their own ideals in a new family sisterwife and that the single ladies will have plenty of criteria for the family they are seeking.

I am starting the thread so I will pitch mine first and y'all jump in so we can see if there is a lot of consensus or just tones of outliers etc.
Stable - can be a little crazy, prefer crazy fun or crazy smart or crazy loving but so long as it is all positive stuff and...stable. maybe just crazy enough to follow where I lead
Devoted to polygamy - I really would prefer that someone has taken the time to think it through and examined all the potential ups and downs and made a decision based on study of the plural marriage and not just wanting to try something new or it looked fun on TV
Smart - don't need to be a genius but both of us are talkers and for stoics pretty prosocial so the need to be able to have conversations are pretty fundamental
Must love/want kids - this should be pretty self explanatory
Prefer strong faith - sounds odd from me but I know that strong faith corolates to increased happiness, better life outcomes and...well, quite a list of positive outcomes
Potential best pal to first wife - self explanatory
Misc - obvious stuff everyone wants. Honest, loving, committed and so on. Less concerned about appearance than character. Pretty is nice but pretty doest make you a good wife

How about y'all? Especially the wives and single ladies searching. I imagine a bunch of the guys will have similar basic ideas to mine, so hearing y'all's may be more interesting. Inclufimg the ladies who have been through the successful process in the past and what you had in mind while searching
 
So my criteria for a hypothetical third wive to our husband would be:

Proactive: Not a lazy person who leaves all the hardwork to others. In a big house there's always work to be done, especially with kids around.
Good with children: Whether or not she becomes a mother herself (that's our husband's decision), she will be living in a house with children who need to be loved and cared for.
Really into polygamy: Someone who trully understands what being in a polygamous marriage implies, with all its ups and downs. She must realise that her husband is also the husband of two other wives.
Good faith: Someone who acts in good faith and doesn't gossip behind the back or incite quarrels with others.

Of course there are other criteria, but I feel those should be set by our husband, not me. I tried to focus on the main aspects that would influence my relationship with her.
 
Submission, she has to agree that no matter what; any time our wills conflict that mine must prevail. It doesn’t matter if I’m wrong, destructive, bad, mean or insensitive. If we disagree then I win. This has worked well in my monogamous marriage and I won’t compromise on it on a polygamous one.

After that, I want a woman that I want to have children with. I want to look at her and think,”Her children will improve my line.”

After that, I like tall women who look like they can work hard. And boobs. I really like boobs.
 
The Revolting Man said:
After that, I like tall women who look like they can work hard. And boobs. I really like boobs.
Click to expand...
You too? I like the look of them in the knee high riding boots with the whole riding tack vibe going on. Sexy but modest if the coat covers the...hey...wait a minute!

He did Not say boots
 
Just saw a reference that I thought fit my criteria really well.

Or I suppose one could say an example of what I do not want for the family. No main character syndrome.
I had never heard the term before but it is an easy enough concept to grasp and it makes sense in our context since we think that the family and kids should always come first before any adults.
 
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To elaborate on my somewhat jocular answer above - I don't actually have a list of criteria, ranked or otherwise. I'm not intentionally hunting for another wife, so I don't have a checklist to score her against. If another woman turns up that I should marry, I'll recognise her at the time, and she will no doubt differ at least a bit from any checklist that I could come up with. In fact, if I had a list of criteria, the more detailed it was the more likely it would be to cause me to dismiss the very woman that God was surprising me with. To be honest, Sarah wasn't exactly who I was expecting, but was better than I could have planned, so I know from experience it is far better for me to run with God's leading than with my own presuppositions. So I don't take the time to write one.

Which means you could say that my above answer is actually my entire list - though that could give somewhat the wrong impression... :)
 
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