Really isn't a New Topic/Just Wondering

[Faithful Servant]

Greetings Brothers & Sisters in Christ,

In this particular post, I'd like to address "the brothers on this one." Maybe a few or many of the women here, who are currently learning, studying, praying or who have already accepted God's will to be in a plural family have at one point in time had these same questions/concerns. So here goes. As I've come to discover the Biblical Truth of Pm through study and prayer, and through all of you Awesome Kind hearted and Godly men and women here, I still have trouble at times trying to completely wrap my mind and heart around the the idea of actually one day living in a plural family myself.

I first discovered pm by watching the whole drama unfold when all 400 children were taken away from the FLDS. I began praying that they would all come to a complete and true Saving Grace/Salvation in Yeshua alone. I prayed that their "evil polygamous ways," would come to an end. I then discovered the show Big Love, and thought what a selfish pig that Bill is!!! But then for some unknown reason, I became interested in seeking out the scriptures and God's actual will in all of this for myself. I then discovered all of you God fearing people here at Biblical Families, and all of a sudden I began to shed the scales of deception and false teachings little by little. All of that to say, I do believe pm to be another form of a Godly ordained marriage and support others who have felt "called to have plural families."

For a time I have felt led to seek Yeshua's will for pm for our family, and my dh has not felt that same call at all. He has entertained the idea through brief/surface discussions over the past year, but keeps coming back to the same conclusion that it isn't right and that our love that we have and share, completes him and doesn't feel the need for "variety or to fill some void that isn't there for him." He always tells me of his never ending love and devotion for me alone, and how very much I make him happy and whole. Which I don't take for granted on any level, as his devotion & strong love for me means the world to me, and I love him just as much! At times I feel as though God has given me this prompting towards a plural family, and other times it just doesn't seem right. As from studying here at B.F., learning that not all are called or led to it as it's not the end all or only form of a Godly marriage. If that is to be said, then we would be making an idol out of pm as well.

So long story shorter here, I guess I'm wondering why I'm still feeling this prompting towards a pm, and if it is of God when my dh isn't feeling led to it at all? As I've shared before, I've been studying, learning and striving to be the Biblical Submissive, Christ honoring helpmeet to my dh that Yeshua calls all Christian wives to be. So in keeping with that, I don't wish to be out from under my dh's spiritual headship or leading. I feel he would need to be the one to see that vision and receive that conviction/calling from Yeshua, and then I would be there as his helpmeet to help my dh fulfill that vision. Here's my next question to you brothers, did you all or just some of you feel an actual call to the plural family life or did you just discover it was your biblical right to seek it out? Did any of you men of God have some feeling of a void in their marriages, that something was missing or that your current wife wasn't able to fulfill for you? If this isn't the case, then where did the feeling of wanting another wife come from? That's still something I don't quite understand. Please forgive me as I don't mean to be disrespectful or to argue the point. These are all questions of my heart, that I'm just not fully understanding.

Also, since we've discussed that pm isn't for all marriages, then I don't feel that the men who aren't feeling led or called to it as being selfish, not trusting Yeshua, or giving up a God given right that they aren't led to seek out. So I'm thinking that since my dh is just not feeling led to this life, that we're not meant to seek it out & live in a pm. I should not be encouraging him down this path then? As always I will continue to keep this lifted in prayer, seeking Yeshua's will to be done and not just my will be done, following His and my dh's lead in all things. Thanks for listening to my heart and for helping me to understand these questions & concerns. God be with thee and give you joy for the journey!

Faithful Servant

 

[Anonymous]

Here's my next question to you brothers, did you all or just some of you feel an actual call to the plural family life or did you just discover it was your biblical right to seek it out? Did any of you men of God have some feeling of a void in their marriages, that something was missing or that your current wife wasn't able to fulfill for you? If this isn't the case, then where did the feeling of wanting another wife come from?

Faithful Servant,

I can tell you that from my own experience, I learned about the truth of Biblical marriage through personal Scripture study. I wasn't looking to prove or disprove anything, and I wasn't interested in a second (or third, etc.) wife. I was simply praying for wisdom, trying to understand what God's Word said about issues related to marriage. It wasn't until after I had figured out God's intent for authority in the family that I learned that so many other Believers had already come to these same conclusions. That was the real shocker for me!

Once I had worked everything out, I tried to disprove my own understanding, just to make sure everything in Scripture was saying the same thing. Then I presented the information to my wife. She was a little unsure where I was going with this but she's a Berean and checked every passage for herself. As with everything else in Scripture, once she could read it with her own eyes, there was no resistance to it at all. She suggested I dump the wedding ring (reversal of authority) and learn to keep my eyes opened, just in case God was showing me these things for my own family. But I always felt it was more important to speak the truth of these matters rather than concern myself with any personal application someday.

I actually felt that by taking a second wife, I would be doing a disservice to my more important cause of defending Biblical marriage, as nay-sayers could then say I was only trying to justify some kind of "sin". Of course, as it turns out, I regularly get condemned for promoting something of which I have no personal knowledge, so I guess it all balances out. I say if you get called on, follow His lead. If not, don't try to make it happen. I never felt that I personally needed another wife, though I recognized the obvious benefits to the family and my own desire to provide for the right someone, should she come along. But as all my needs were being met, it was purely academic knowledge that helped me see the entire picture of Godly marriage, patriarchy and authority in Scripture. I just praise Him for revealing these things to me. He truly is an AWESOME GOD, faithful and just!

In His love,
David

 

[Faithful Servant]

Calling all Biblical Men - We'd like Your Input!

David,

Thanks much for taking the time to reply, as I appreciate your shared insights and journey with pm. If you don't mind, I'm still wondering how you were actually able to bring your mind to the concept of having feelings and love for another woman, if you feel complete and loved by your wife? How do you translate those new feelings to your wife, even though you both agree that pm is another form of a God ordained marriage? I'm sure it's a huge transition with your thought & heart process. Even as a submissive & obedient Christian, and as a submissive, God fearing helpmeet that has been enlightened to the truth of biblical plural marriage, it's still hard to just give up that closeness and intimacy with one another. Yes it would include a new shared love, but the original marriage would never be the same. Not necessarily bad per say, but not the same. I can see missing that very much. That's the part that I feel would be the hardest part of the growing/learning journey with pm. Not impossible, as all things all possible with Christ Jesus who strengthens us. Which brings me to my original point, that if one isn't called to pm by God why would a couple risk the strong love that they've already worked hard for and have been blessed with? Not that pm is sinful risk, but a risk none the less and one that may not be blessed if it isn't of God. Please forgive me if I've misunderstood you to already be living in a plural marriage. Are you currently seeking a sw or do you already have one? Well thanks again for taking the time to connect with me, as I do appreciate your shared wisdom David.

I'd still be very thankful to hear more feedback and shared insights from all of the other Godly men on this forum. Cecil, Ray, Mark, Nathan, Pastor Randy, Curtis please share your thoughts on this topic as well. As Godly women seeking to be in Yeshua's will for our lives, I'm sure that I can speak for most of the women here when I say that we do appreciate a biblical man's perspective and insights with these issues. I look forward to hearing back from you all, as time permits. Take care and Keep on Keepin on with God, family & friends.

Faithful Servant

 

[DrRay777]

Dear FS,

I was not looking for pleural marriage when God gave me the revelation. I had always preached that Isaiah 4:1 was a ‘spiritual’ relationship for the modern church and not an actual physical marital relationship for believers. That was perfectly acceptable for the women in our home church until the day that God told me no and that the ‘new thing’ that he was doing in the earth was an actual physical marital relationship, even among believers. The whole story is laid out in my teaching entitled, ‘The New Thing’ available for free download from my web site listed below. Just go to the ‘New Thing’ link from the home page. I was afraid of what people might think and what it would do when God told me that not only was this to be an actual physical arrangement but that the women in our small church group were supposed to marry me! Imagine how I felt at that time. I prayed and asked God to speak to them directly because I did not want it to come from my mouth and He graciously did so. They told me that He spoke this to them. I was still shocked. Then He spoke through my wife, (who is a prophet) on more than one occasion to confirm the revelation. However, the people rebelled and all eventually left before we relocated to South Africa. You can read about it in the teaching if you like. I also review in the teaching some of the scriptures and the revelation that God gave me about His purpose in the whole thing for the completion of His plan for mankind and why He is doing it.

The initial revelation was in 2005 and I am still preaching it but not yet practicing it. I am waiting for God to send the next woman/women because He did such a good job by sending me my current wife. I had two failed attempts at marriage previously that were done in the flesh, so I know the difference. Therefore, I can only echo what David said and tell you to let it be God that makes it happen and not you. Follow His lead. There is a purpose in where you are right now and I believe it is in preparation for the inevitable. I believe that people will either come into it voluntarily or have their resistant hand forced. I believe that God has put it in the genetic code to make certain that the scripture will be fulfilled. I believe that PM is the end-time order for Godly marriage. People will either embrace it or it will be forced on them. This is the real meaning of the scriptures in Isaiah chapter 4. The whole book of Isaiah is filled with information about the end-time wilderness experience for true believers who will escape the great tribulation. PM will be a significant part of that experience. Escaping into the wilderness from the tribulation through perfection in Christ, (and PM as well) is part of the overall plan of God for the end-time church. My other writings, especially the book, ‘Who Said That You Should be Perfect?’ and teachings, ‘The real 666’, ‘Revelation Revealed’ and others address the issues surrounding the great tribulation that is on the horizon and those who will escape.

Your enlightenment is simply one of many such instances that are signaling the fact that the end is near. Just let God be God in it. I personally believe that all people are called to PM and it will happen en-mass soon. I know that most do not share that belief, but I believe it came from God and it is truth for me. Time will tell if I got it right. I believe that those who do not ‘see’ it have just not had their spiritual eyes opened yet. They will soon. God directed PM will serve nothing but to enhance ANY relationship that a couple has, because it is part of the plan. I hope this answers your questions.

Be blessed,

Ray

 

[sweetlissa]

I actually never really knew anything about polygamy. I heard about polygamy when it hit the news otherwise it never had any affect on me. I wasn't raised to be particularly religious (despite my mother's claim that I was raised Methodist.) I grew up in a large family where we all worked together. We moved often which left us pretty much dependent on each other for relationships. I remember several times throughout my early adulthood, wondering what was the big deal about infidelity. My only feeling on the matter was that if every one knew and agreed, it should be no big deal. Remember, I was not saved, so please don't think I believe that way now.

As I grew into adulthood and maturity I had several opportunities to work/play with other groups as a community. There were group camping trips, church activities and family events that worked so well that I was convinced that living within a community (commune at its best) could be a very satisfying and fulfilling way to live. If everyone worked together it made the occassion joyous and not too much work for anyone.

Fast forward to when I met my hubby. I think he sprung the idea of polygamy on me to shock me. It didn't shock me, but in fact at that point everything clicked into place. Of course, I still had to learn how to accept the reality of polygamy but that is a lifelong journey.

I don't believe that if you accept it as a valid form of marriage that you have to be polygamous. Much of the world believes that it is okay for gays to marry, but most of them are not gay.

SweetLissa

 

[Mark C]

...then we would be making an idol out of pm as well.

Excellent point, FS. I like to point out that the Bible repeatedly uses the metaphor of "veer not to the right NOR to the left". In other words (to put it in the vernacular) -- there are TWO ways to careen off the "narrow path" into the ditch!

(And I can personally testify to having made at LEAST that many mistakes while trying to walk His path. )

My own story is a long one, and one that I won't claim even remotely starts out as "noble". I was a cynic, generally agnostic when it came to the Bible, as a result of having been convinced that 'the Church' was full of hypocrites, and that there were far too many contradictions in the "Good Book" to allow it to be the Word of God.

But God is able to meet us where we are, and really does have "all things" worked out for us, if we are willing to learn from Him.

In my case, what He REALLY Wrote about marriage was a big part of that. (And many things that I'm inclined to put in a set of parentheses here have been listed before - so I'll try to show restraint. ) As I began to "study for myself" (while I didn't know it at the time - it was that Berean thing* again :lol: ) I saw that there were MANY things that "everyone knew" that just weren't in there.

What I had HEARD people say He Wrote was NOT AT ALL what was really in there. I came to realize that what 'the Church' had said had far more to do with pagan tradition than Truth. Eventually, I was really excited to recognize what Yeshua meant when He called those who did such things (then, and now) "Hypocrites!". It was why He also observed that "by their tradition" they had "made the commandments of God of no effect".

I still find a certain great attraction to polygyny and related topics, because they so dramatically demonstrate why we are to "let God be true and every man a liar". I can often relate to those who have felt "driven away" from the Bible because of the "contradictions" they see, or because of the things that men have turned into idols, by focusing on the creation, and the things of the world, rather than the Creator.


Blessings,
Mark










------------------
* Acts 17:11

 

[CecilW]

Re: Calling all Biblical Men - We'd like Your Input!

I'd still be very thankful to hear more feedback and shared insights from ... Cecil ...

Ok, we'll see what we can do.

I started out to tell stories, about the variety of ways God put my brothers and I together with the 5 wives who have graced our lives. (Sadly, 2 are divorced at present, but the story isn't over yet, is it?) Then realized that would take too long. But the point I hoped to make is that YHWH God Loves Variety. After all, He made giraffes, loons, chihuahuas, duck-billed platypusses, and me.

So why should it surprise or trouble us if He leads us to the same place via widely different paths? The devil just loves to mess with our heads. Especially when God is doing something. Jesus, au contraire, stands up in the back of the boat, yawns, stretches, glances around to take in what is going on, and says, "Aaaaw, y'all HUSH now! Peace! Be still!" (Cecil's paraphrase). So the first thing on my heart is to offer His peace. By all means, bring on the curiosity and questions. But don't let the old devil stir up a tempest in a teapot an' mess wif yer haid. He da DEVIL. A defeated foe. Phooey on him!

Which brings us to your questions: Why do you feel a continued prompting towards PM when your husband doesn't? Same question can go the other way around, when a couple both think that they are committed Christians. Why does a man feel a draw when his wife doesn't? AREN'T THEY SUPPOSED TO BECOME ONE?

Well, sorta and sorta not. They become one FLESH, that is true. Modern science is discovering that to be more true than we realized. And for sure they should be forever UNITED in their relationship. But they are also two separate beings, with various personal traits and preferences. For example, I love to watch Cindy crochet or quilt, but have no desire to do so myself. Worse, I am trying hard to have an appreciation for Country Western music, but it is an uphill battle. I'm more into old school black gospel, and contemporary praise/worship.

The cool thing is that God promised BOTH you and your husband to give you the desires of your hearts, as you revel in His goodness and delight yourselves in Him. (Ps 37:4) How is He to do THAT when one of you is strongly drawn to PM, and the other is pretty durn comfortable the way things are already? Profound answer: I dunno, but He does. So sit back, buckle yourself in with the Promise, and enjoy the ride! The answer WILL come, and it will be a story worth watching by men and angels (1 Cor 4:9), rated "E" for everyone, and both casted, scripted, and directed by God Himself!

You asked about our own experiences. There are three boys in my family. I'm the eldest. When I presented my findings on PM to my two younger brothers, both their mouths fell open, and they said, "Why would you wanna do THAT?" My mouth fell open right back, and I said, "Why WOULDN'T you?" 3 brothers, same genes, vastly different personalities.

I was raised with the idea heavily "pounded into me" that God, and His perfect law, never changed or changes. That is why we, as Seventh-day Adventists, still kept the 4th commandment's 7th day Sabbath literally, on Saturday. Fair enough. (And yes, that is a separate issue for another discussion!) But I, like all kids, went through the various stages of development, including "concrete thinking". Ooooooh, THAT got me in troooooouuuuuble.....!!!

'Cause of course I asked questions. Lots and lots of questions. And got lots and lots of stumbling answers from somewhat red-faced pastors and teachers and visiting evangelists and professors and counselors, over the years. 'Cause I never really got past that point, since the Bible states it explicitly. God never changes. And His law, as given, was PERFECT, converting the soul. (Ps 19)

One of those questions was about the morality of PM. I never, ever had a problem wrapping my mind around loving two women fully and simultaneously. But did try to squelch it, as I was told by supposedly credible Biblical "authorities" that it was wrong, or tolerated for a time due to the ignorance of the people, but now He calls us all to repentance, or ... you know the drill.

I married at 19, and thought we had a pretty good marriage. There were a few times when I the thought came on pretty strong that PM would solve some of the problems and frustrations we faced. I could EASILY envision my family including 2 wives. And could imagine how the relationships might work, and how they would benefit both wives as well as me. But didn't do anything about it.

In the meantime, some areas of our relationship became so strained that after 17 years or so, I got desperate and laid an ultimatum before the Lord that He either fix it, or I was outa there. Gave Him about 10 months to do it in. I don't particularly recommend doing so, but this is "be honest" time. It is what I did. The sweet thing about our Saviour is that He responded, and DID fix the relationship! It became, from my perspective, better than ever before.

Several months later, one day at work, it hit me that it was finally time to see what the Bible really taught on the subject. I turned to the internet, and got an eyeful. Please note that this happened only AFTER my marriage had been restored and tuned up and turned into WOW! The void no longer existed! Only then ...

A few months later, it came to me that God wasn't shining light on my path to satisfy my idle curiosity, but because He intended me to walk in that light. My wife disagreed. She instantly and consistently threatened divorce. A few months later yet, at a point where I was prepared to give it up (CATCH THIS?) to hopefully save the marriage, then and only then did I receive an overt Divine interventive calling, in the form of a personal vision laying out two paths for my future, and making God's preference clear. I chose to follow His choice, which has brought us here to a story still in progress.

One truth I've learned along the way is now beginning to be taught in non-PM circles as well. (See the book "Love and Respect", Eggerichs). Men's love for our wives <> women's love for their husbands. God wired our psyches differently. Fair enough. Viva la difference, in all its fascinating forms.

So, if women can't wrap themselves around how men will manage to love two wives 100% each, *shrug* Oh, well. Guess God made us different. And we don't need to worry about it. Same if we men can't wrap our minds around just exactly how the love of a woman works. We don't HAVE to understand it all. Even Solomon couldn't figger it out.

What we CAN do is TRUST with perfect confidence, that our God means us GOOD, and not EVIL, ALL the days of our lives. In this particular, we can trust that whatever love and closeness we feel with our spouse now will not be LOST, but ultimately ENHANCED, by accepting any new relationship that God brings into our lives. Of course, it remains our responsibility to keep ourselves closely pressed to His breast, that nothing comes between.

So far as non-interested spouses go, I don't know what to offer other than the observation that God DRAWS. He doesn't DRIVE, MANIPULATE, or CONTROL us into doing His will. If we want to operate within His will, we gotta be careful to do the same. Yup, it grows patience, and that ain't fun. But patience, too, pays huge dividends.

Hope that helps. Guess we'd best add to my prayers that God reveal "whassup wid dat?" about this seemingly odd situation.

 

[lutherangirl]

I
As I grew into adulthood and maturity I had several opportunities to work/play with other groups as a community. There were group camping trips, church activities and family events that worked so well that I was convinced that living within a community (commune at its best) could be a very satisfying and fulfilling way to live. If everyone worked together it made the occassion joyous and not too much work for anyone.

SweetLissa

SweetLissa,

I think that I would have liked to grow up in a commune, too. Actually, I've dreamt about this many times. However, I'm not in favor of "drinking the red Kool-aid" or killing people Charlie Manson style. Doing much research lately, the dream of a Christian community that fits the description I'm referring to probably is unlikely to happen. There are too many people who claim to be Christian when in reality there would always be that person in the group who would lead others astray. The focus whould switch from "fellow Christ's example" to "I'm Christ."

Oops! Once again, I've focused not on the original topic. Sorry, FS, please forgive me. My mind does so wander off....

Good topic it is helping me with my similiar situation.

Michelle

 

[sweetlissa]

I am not much for kool-aid these days. When I look at the Bible and the way the disciples lived, it is not very difficult to see how far off we all are from the ideal. Most of us meet on Wednesday or Sunday with other believers. When someone doesn't come to church, we make a judgemental note. When we eat together we worry about who is paying and how big a tip to leave and who gets the seat of honor. In biblical times they were together more than they were apart. They travelled together. They worked together. I imagine that when children needed caring for it didn't matter which mother took care of it. When supper needed fixing everyone pitched in (kind of like at Julie's house during a retreat). Nobody worried too much about whose job it was or who got the most honor, money or whatever for it. If someone was absent they sought that person out to see what was wrong. The church I was going to when hubby left is about an hour's drive from my home. I stopped going there. About 4 months later or so I went back. Everyone had missed me and wondered about me but I never received even one phone call. I think that in biblical times people would have been knocking on my door, not to be judgemental but to inquire as to what I needed.

This year of solitude has been an eye opening experience. I like people and I miss them when I am not with them. Last night was our first Texas gathering and I was so excited just to have other people to talk with and to break bread with. It was a thrill to have 19 people there just because I asked them to be. It was probably the best time I have had since hubby and T left in June after our vacation. That is the stuff we need and that is the stuff that I want to see happening more and more. Where it is more normal to be with other believers rather than an exception.

I truly hate being alone.

SweetLissa

 

[Anonymous]

Re: Calling all Biblical Men - We'd like Your Input!

David,

Thanks much for taking the time to reply, as I appreciate your shared insights and journey with pm. If you don't mind, I'm still wondering how you were actually able to bring your mind to the concept of having feelings and love for another woman, if you feel complete and loved by your wife? How do you translate those new feelings to your wife, even though you both agree that pm is another form of a God ordained marriage? I'm sure it's a huge transition with your thought & heart process.

Well, in my own case, it was just a matter of "unlearning" the false teachings I'd been raised with. Scripture demonstrates that the concept of a man having more than wife is as natural as a man having more than one child. So to me, the question is like how I could bring my mind to the concept of having feelings and love for another child, if I feel complete and loved by my existing children. Adding another child to the family in no way means I wouldn't be able to love them all. I have a great deal of love to share. I have two young daughters at the moment, and I learned last week that we'll be blessed with another child next year. This new child, whether boy or girl (or twins ) will neither change my feelings for my existing family, nor feel any less loved because they are not the firstborn. Once we look at family the way that God does, it all becomes so much clearer.

it's still hard to just give up that closeness and intimacy with one another. Yes it would include a new shared love, but the original marriage would never be the same. Not necessarily bad per say, but not the same. I can see missing that very much.

It certainly would change the family dynamics, but then the same is true when having children. Everything changes when another is added to the family. Any couple who have their first child can attest to that fact. The original marriage is never the same again, but that's not a bad thing. Change can be hard to accept sometimes, even when the change is a wonderful thing. Our daughters certainly changed our lives (for the better), but we count them as gain, never as loss.

Which brings me to my original point, that if one isn't called to pm by God why would a couple risk the strong love that they've already worked hard for and have been blessed with? Not that pm is sinful risk, but a risk none the less and one that may not be blessed if it isn't of God.

This analogy is really working out well here. The same question can be said for a couple considering having children. With all change comes risk of the unknown. The question is whether the change is positive or negative, and Scripture tells us how to recognize the difference. But to answer your question, if the man is NOT called by God to have [one wife, multiple wives, one child, multiple children], it would certainly be foolish to act outside of His will.

Please forgive me if I've misunderstood you to already be living in a plural marriage. Are you currently seeking a sw or do you already have one?

At the moment, I have just one wife and 2.x children. I am neither actively seeking nor opposed to a second wife, though I have been talking with a wonderful woman for over a year now who is interested in joining our family. She nails my criteria of a Godly woman perfectly. As with all major life changes, I prefer to wait on God until all three elements line up exactly (His Word, inward leading of the Spirit, outward circumstances, in that specific order). God performed a miracle with my first wife and I know if He intends me to have a second, He will do so again. I am content to sit back and allow Him to operate in our lives for His purposes and in His timing.

Well thanks again for taking the time to connect with me, as I do appreciate your shared wisdom David.

I have very little wisdom in the natural, but I'm happy to contribute where I can. Others who are actually living in polygynous marriages can probably give you much more practical information than I could. I hope this has been of some help. Be blessed in Him!

Always in His love,
David

 

[Mark C]

Scripture demonstrates that the concept of a man having more than wife is as natural as a man having more than one child. So to me, the question is like how I could bring my mind to the concept of having feelings and love for another child, if I feel complete and loved by my existing children. Adding another child to the family in no way means I wouldn't be able to love them all. I have a great deal of love to share. I have two young daughters at the moment, and I learned last week that we'll be blessed with another child next year.

Great point, David.

And congratulations!

Mark

 

[Tele-Caster]

Greetings Brothers & Sisters in Christ,

Also, since we've discussed that pm isn't for all marriages, then I don't feel that the men who aren't feeling led or called to it as being selfish, not trusting Yeshua, or giving up a God given right that they aren't led to seek out. So I'm thinking that since my dh is just not feeling led to this life, that we're not meant to seek it out & live in a pm. I should not be encouraging him down this path then? As always I will continue to keep this lifted in prayer, seeking Yeshua's will to be done and not just my will be done, following His and my dh's lead in all things. Thanks for listening to my heart and for helping me to understand these questions & concerns. God be with thee and give you joy for the journey!

Faithful Servant

I can relate to Faithful Servant's spouse, in a sense, because it really isn't MY WILL to engage in the practice of polygynous marriage. I am blissfully content with my current monogous union and selfishly so. Every day, the Lord uses "T-C's Rebeka" in ways great and small as the conduit through which His manifold blessings flow to me. She has not given me any reason at all to seek anything from any other woman. More to the point, being the wretched sinner that I am, fully deserving eternal torment in hell, I often feel that I am not worthy of the blessing that my monogmous marriage to T-C's Rebeka has been. Left to my own desires, my desire would be to accept PM as Biblical, love those who also accept it and those who practice Biblical PM the way we are to love one another in Christ, without moving on to practice.

Although T-C's Rebeka and I are generally in one accord over the whole PM issue, there are times when I think that the Lord is leading her into a greater sense of urgency to prepare for His blessing in this area than I currently feel led to. On the other hand, I have spent a lot of time lately, during my "quiet time" with the Lord, in coming to terms with the fleshly position in which my desire to remain "non practicing" is really rooted.

You see, it is very easy for me to discuss how richly blessed I am through T-C's Rebeka. Hey, I am a sinner after all. And I am one of my favorite topics. What is less easy for me to discuss publicly is how T-C's Rebeka is blessed through ME. Personally, I think she gets the short end of the stick, as the saying goes. But this union that God brought together isn't all about me and how much I am blessed by it. It is about her, too. Yet it also goes beyond us, because it is also about Him. When I ask myself, "Where is God's glory magnified in my marriage"? I can think of answers. When I think of them, however, I am forced to conceed that His glory might be magnified further by moving from acceptance of PM to practice. I am also forced to accept that just as T-C's Rebeka is a blessing to me, she could very well be a blessing to another woman in a PM situation and another woman could certainly be a blessing to her. T-C's Rebeka is very good at articulating all of the many ways, large and small, that three consenting and equally spiritually yolked Christian adults can be blessed through PM and we both accept that our fleshly understanding probably only scratches at the surface of the issue.

If PM was all about me, and what I might get out of it, I could easily say "thank you, but no" to the whole deal. But it isn't about me. It is about us, and not just "us" as defined in my current monogomous union with T-C's Rebeka now, but "us" in the broader sense of the second wife that God might want to bless us with.

The Holy Spirit is working on me daily with respect to this issue. I am finding myself thinking about all of the ways that I could be preparing to receive the blessing of a second wife, and curiously, when T-C's Rebeka and I have our quiet time together, it seems that some of what the Holy Spirit has laid upon my heart has also been recently laid on hers. And as odd as it may seem to those who really don't get it and really don't want to, our discussion of PM and our study and prayer over it continues to draw us even closer together, rather than farther apart as detractors might assume.

Not only has this whole PM thing drawn me closer to T-C's Rebeka, it has also strenghened my walk. It forces me to ask the question, "Why me"? and realize that I can't answer it. It forces me to look at my walk with a more critical eye. It forces me to lean on Him more and lean on me less. It forces me to ask myself if "Not my will, but your will be done, Lord," is really heartfelt and sincere or just a trite, tired group of buzzwords. It forces me to put my trust in Him, because I can't see how I could support another wife, and any children she may already have or we may have together, if T-C's Rebeka and I are ever called into active practice.

In all honesty, I am scared. I am scared because, while I don't feel called into practice yet, I definitely feel led to prepare the way for the calling to come now. It's scary enough being held accountable for one wife and two kids, let alone another wife and additional children. That fear comes the flesh. It definitely doesn't come from the Lord.

Sometimes, I feel like a toddler having a tantrum, because in my own flesh, I don't want to ever be called to practice PM. The unfortunate reality is that there is a huge social stigma attached to it and it comes with a high price of sacrafice from a whole lot of different quarters. Following His will in this area will definitely come with a price tag.

I am mature enough in my walk to know where this reluctance comes from, and I know that I would be on tenuous ground at best to yeild to it, and move on the comfortable path, rather than the one that God would will me to follow.

In a nutshell, I can definitely empathize with Faithful Servant's spouse, and Faithful Servant herself, too. Sometimes I catch myself wishing that the Lord would have led me anyplace but here, with "here" being the place where acceptance of the Biblical relevance of PM for believers here in time seems to be leading toward a path of practice. The whole expereince has pointed out a whole host of spiritual weaknesses that I've remained blissfully ignorant of.

I would encourage Faithful Servant to be patient and content in the place where God has her right now. Yeah, it is very close to a pot calling a kettle black, because I am having some serious contentment issues now, myself. But that is really key, I think. We need to trust in the Lord to work all of this stuff out for His glory in His perfect timing. Again, the pot calling the kettle black, because I've been wrestling with that issue a lot lately. Most importantly, is being in prayer over the issue, and staying in it.

I guess I've rambled enough.

T-C

 

[Curtis]

Faithful Servant,

Wow, I appreciate your heart, I want to simply address for now your... "Why do I feel the unction?" related question.

Of course, forcing all men into a plural marriage mold would be as wrong as forcing all men into a singular marriage mold. YHWH, as said before, provides for diversity. Having said that, I do believe that "monogamy" (which I distinguish from circumstantial singular marriage) has clearly detrimental effects on the congress of the sexes itself and most certainly to the broad-scale purposes of YHWH.

My theory would be that you are being called to play a vital role in helping Him restore His purposes on the earth from the more socially accepted platform of singular marriage combined with the paradigm-shifting restored perspective of a modern day woman. You are still moving toward fullness of understanding and humility is always essential, but I believe that you could be and will be used in eternally significant ways in the lives of others.

Real ministry has nothing to do with 501c3's and whole lot to do with having a renewed mind and being fully who God has called you to be where he has called you. All real ministry is self-replicating in nature by multiplication rather than addition and small beginnings and seemingly small contributions are not to be underestimated.

Who knows whether you have come to the Kingdom for such a time as this? (Esther 4:14)

Sincerely,

Curtis