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Regarding Anal Sex

M

Maegirl

Member
Female
Hi Ladies!

So with the topic of anal sex coming up in the Female vs. Male Homosexuality thread, I was wondering if anyone would be willing to share thoughts on what you would do if your husband decided that anal sex was not sinful and therefore something he wanted to pursue, but you felt convicted that it was sinful.
What would submission to your husband look like in this scenario?
(My husband and I have already come to our decision on this topic so I am looking for everyone’s thoughts/opinions rather than advice).
 
wow. i suspect each woman would handle this in her own way. i also told myself not to talk today, but here i am. frankly, i have been in this situation, my personal response is 1. get out of position, lean to side fast. i don't mean to be funny, tho it is, in its own way. 2. act like i do when i am 'just' a human woman and not his 'perfect wife from heaven'. something like this would be said: WE are not going to do that. And if you do with others, WE are not having any intimacy that involves your pointer part, or your mouth either, just in case. personally, i WANT to obey my own husband, But i might 'just' be human. it is what it is, and i would hope that he would continue to love and care for me, in spite of my disobedience.
g.


p.s. this person was not a christian in any way shape or form, but a white arab muslim, i was young, he was my first, and was my husband. And i knew very little of yeshua at that time in my life, still wanted to be obedient however. And it never had a chance to be a possible disagreement a third time. if someone tries to get pushy a second time, after you've said what you need to say, it might be time to call a stop to that person in your life. especially if there are no children between you. run.
i think other women would act in the ways they have learned, maybe freak out, maybe run and go back again the rest of their lives, maybe use avoidance or manipulation... etc
well, i hope i helped get the white elephant acknowledged and that other women may share a word also.
oh and p.s. again i have spent my life wondering if the second man who married me 'redeemed me back to my tribe' so to speak, as he is a christian, at least that's what he believes himself to be, i am not his judge, i do think he is. think.
i wrote the first paragraph partly from the view of what happened then and partly if it were to happen now.
may God take this post and use it for good. Amen.
 
ginger2 said:
wow. i suspect each woman would handle this in her own way. i also told myself not to talk today, but here i am. frankly, i have been in this situation, my personal response is 1. get out of position, lean to side fast. i don't mean to be funny, tho it is, in its own way. 2. act like i do when i am 'just' a human woman and not his 'perfect wife from heaven'. something like this would be said: WE are not going to do that. And if you do with others, WE are not having any intimacy that involves your pointer part, or your mouth either, just in case. personally, i WANT to obey my own husband, But i might 'just' be human. it is what it is, and i would hope that he would continue to love and care for me, in spite of my disobedience.
g.
Click to expand...

You are too funny, Ginger! I am with you personally but also know that each lady (and husband) need to decide what is right for them.
 
I'm personally convinced that it's not healthy. Men that do that have issues, and I'm not sure how much of it is natural consequences and how much is judgement for sin.
It's also a non issue for me and I lack the mental energy to imagine a scenario that I'm thankful is not my reality.

In cases of obedience in scripture Sarah trusted Abraham even though it might have been scary. God even told the king that He had prevented the king from taking her as a wife. Abigail disobeyed Nabal's known wishes in meeting David with food, but her disobedience was a blessing to David who would have done wrong, and probably saved lives as David acting in haste and anger purposed to kill all the men in the household.

We do have the story of YHWH killing Judah's son who didn't mind taking his brother's wife, Tamar, for the pleasure but spilled his seed on the ground rather than raise a child in his brother's name.

Each would have to choose how to handle a bad situation like that, but Ananias and Saphira conspired together....and both paid a price. YHWH judges hearts. We can trust Him, but no way can we pretend with Him.

My sis in law left her hubby that wanted her to swing. Hard decisions sometimes for folks. I am understanding of people that make different choices then I might think I would make. It is a rare kind of arrogance that pretends to judge another.
Even if you think you "borrowed their shoes for a mile." They might fit you differently.
 
I guess I am looking at this issue from a broader perspective. First off, I don’t believe my husband would ever insist that I do something that I thought was a sin. But, I am happy to play along.....

I would tell my husband that I thought it was a sin and discuss it with him. If we were at an impasse, then I would defer to my husband as the spiritual leader. I would also pray that God would provide clarity to me or my husband so that we could bridge the divide.
 
I think the term 'anal sex' is throwing me off here, I'm having a difficult time replying. So if we remove that term, then it's something that you consider sinful, and hubby doesn't. Could be anything. Sex wise, we could say what if a woman thinks that any sex that isn't getting pregnant is sin, but hubby doesn't? Or, what if she thinks that eating pork is sinful, but hubby doesn't?
When is a wife required to obey hubby, and when not?

I would think that with a loving hubby there is a balance to achieve. Maybe he wants pork, wife cooks pork for the family but doesn't eat it herself, for example.
I don't believe a loving husband would ever force his wife to do something sexual that disgusts her and/or that she thinks is a sin. That is not going to encourage a healthy and happy relationship in any way, to put it mildly.

I don't know, I'm trying to think of this in a practical way from an outside standpoint but I'm struggling. I won't let you know my real thoughts lol, spare you my ranting!
 
FollowingHim2 said:
I don't believe a loving husband would ever force his wife to do something sexual that disgusts her and/or that she thinks is a sin. That is not going to encourage a healthy and happy relationship in any way, to put it mildly.
Click to expand...

It occurred to me that I didn't really answer your question @Maegirl. I am afraid I was too much in a hurry reading your post last night. I am glad some others did better than I. I would probably say exactly what @FollowingHim2 has said. Of course, sexual relationships within marriage can be complicated...and the husband (or maybe the wife) doesn't always walk in creating a healthy relationship when emotions and physical needs play into the situation. As in most things, communication and respect go a long way to creating a healthy and happy marriage in and out of the bedroom.
 
The Bible says that nothing is forbidden us, and that wives must submit to their husbands in all things. My advice would be to gently approach your husband in love to communicate your doubts/feelings. He is commanded not to be harsh with you, and because he loves you, he will consider your preferences. Perhaps you can begin with a compromise and start with small steps? Just remember that you love your husband and that you both want each other to be happy and satisfied. Hope this helps!
 
I am fortunate in that my husband has never asked me or any of my SW for this and I have never offered. I'm not interested.
 
I know this is an old post, but the ladies-only section has crickets....lol. But I still read it. I agree with @Rebecca.

I would do what my husband wanted and pray to the Father letting Him know that I am obeying my husband and to please take the desire away from him if it's a sin. But also, the Bible says the marriage bed is undefiled so I wonder, do you have a scripture that says it's a sin? If you did, I'd share that with the husband but if not, then it can't really be a sin and I'd do whatever my husband wanted with joy in my heart. It doesn't matter to just do something out of obligation and act as if you hate it the whole time. That could hurt your husband as well.
 
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