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Saddened

steve said:
The interesting thing is that by addressing your husband about the families position, he is (probably unintentionally) acknowledging him as the head of the household.
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Great point, @steve! Just as @Jennifer also acknowledged husband Nathan's headship in her writing to her family. Action doesn't need to be intentional to be purposeful action.
 
I stopped responding to my siblings, but they continued to send their thoughts. It got nasty and I mean really nasty, with accusations thrown around. I realize that my "coming out" just revealed deeper problem in our family, one other family tried to point out to me before I stepped into this mess. I always think the best of people and I guess set myself up for disappointment. My door is always open to them. I had no idea they carried such hate in their hearts. My mom's response was very understanding and loving.
 
Bit late, but...

My brother responded horribly (about like yours).
My father responded more with confusion and tentative 'well I'll still love you guys but be really damn careful'

Haven't spoken to anyone else yet after how those went :/
 
Jennifer said:
I stopped responding to my siblings, but they continued to send their thoughts. It got nasty and I mean really nasty, with accusations thrown around. I realize that my "coming out" just revealed deeper problem in our family, one other family tried to point out to me before I stepped into this mess. I always think the best of people and I guess set myself up for disappointment. My door is always open to them. I had no idea they carried such hate in their hearts. My mom's response was very understanding and loving.
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One blessing of tough times is that you find out who is really in your corner and who is not.
 
cnystrom said:
One blessing of tough times is that you find out who is really in your corner and who is not.
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You may want to consider how people accept and do not accept things in their life. First stage us denial. Second stage is anger (which sounds like your brothers stage) Third stage is bargaining. Fourth stage is depression. Lastly acceptance. These stages can take a while to go through, but they will go through them. If I may suggest, you just have to outlast the winter. Spring will return.

Phil
 
Anyone in the mood to lighten up? If so, just let me know, and I'll throw in my contrasting two cents. Ah, but this is so old of a thread I just noticed.
 
Sometimes I think we need moral support from each other, when we face those we love. It's not easy, as we are such a disparate group, but if those who live in the vicinity of one another could join forces as one when bringing this up with family members, I sense that we could fare much better. I am not at all against distributing email lists of family members who may be acting in an unChristlike manner. The worst thing they can do, is block our emails.
 
Phillip said:
You may want to consider how people accept and do not accept things in their life. First stage us denial. Second stage is anger (which sounds like your brothers stage) Third stage is bargaining. Fourth stage is depression. Lastly acceptance. These stages can take a while to go through, but they will go through them. If I may suggest, you just have to outlast the winter. Spring will return.

Phil
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I totally agree. in processing everything for myself, I am in a different place with my understanding and knowledge and general thoughts on poly than I was last year, a month and even a week ago. Processing things takes time and even though you are to a point where things seem clear to you, they are still probably really muddy for them.

I agree with the, lead them into it slowly, consider how you are telling them, etc.
 
Jennifer said:
Well I "came out" to my siblings. It didn't go so well. Their responses were full of emotions and lacked all rationality. Here is a small example. I told them in the beginning that the idea started with me, not Nathan but yet they are ready to hang him. My brother also accused me of insulting his intelligence and using "big words". He made it all about him. How would you respond to this emotional vomit?
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Just remember often times your talking to demons when you bring this stuff up not always your family member. Many many people have unclean spirits dwelling in them and they speak through people. Its not a battle of flesh and blood.
 
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