I just thought to ask how you heard about polygyny, and how you came to accept it for yourself?
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Scarlet (not O'Hara)
- Thread starter scarlet25
- Start date
Welcome. I hope your husband will join and contribute. It would be interesting to hear perspective of a professional pastor, and how he navigates around controversial views.
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Booooooo! This at is verbs disappointing. I work so hard and never get the appreciation I deserve!
No doubt you'll keep trying.
Fine question. And I always get some mileage out of starting off the answer in the most scandalous way possible: "by falling in love with a married preacher," lol. In the late '90's I was an intern working at the Czech Consulate in New York (not the same country whose consulate I work at now). I met this traveling evangelist who had paid for a Theological Studies degree through Marine Corps ROTC and saved his 1st Lieutenant's salary for 8 years to pay for Seminary after leaving the Corps. There was something about a man who can either bring you to God or arrange the meeting that did (and still does) absolutely pyroclastic things to the psyche of a missionary's daughter.
Anyway, on our first date I asked him kind of teasingly, "so, how is that you aren't married?"
He smirked, twisted a little bit of spaghetti around his fork kind of nervously and said "well, this may be the end of the date, but I am."
When I got over the shock, I realized I had a dilemma. I was still head over heels for him. And to be fair, I had to give him credit. He never once lied or hid it. At the end of the night, he made a deal with me. "Meet me again, not for a date but for a Bible study, four times over the next three weeks, and I'll prove to you that it's not a sin for a man to have multiple wives. If I've convinced you, then we'll keep dating. If not, you can scream, rant, slap me across the face and storm out of the room before telling everyone who will listen what a shameless philanderer I am."
Well, you can guess the rest. We said our vows in 2000 and I've been happily His ever since.
How are you hidden away, particularly in public. Are you passed off as the sister or maybe the nanny.
That's an awesome intro. Thank you and my sincerest regards to your husband.No doubt you'll keep trying.
Fine question. And I always get some mileage out of starting off the answer in the most scandalous way possible: "by falling in love with a married preacher," lol. In the late '90's I was an intern working at the Czech Consulate in New York (not the same country whose consulate I work at now). I met this traveling evangelist who had paid for a Theological Studies degree through Marine Corps ROTC and saved his 1st Lieutenant's salary for 8 years to pay for Seminary after leaving the Corps. There was something about a man who can either bring you to God or arrange the meeting that did (and still does) absolutely pyroclastic things to the psyche of a missionary's daughter.
Anyway, on our first date I asked him kind of teasingly, "so, how is that you aren't married?"
He smirked, twisted a little bit of spaghetti around his fork kind of nervously and said "well, this may be the end of the date, but I am."
When I got over the shock, I realized I had a dilemma. I was still head over heels for him. And to be fair, I had to give him credit. He never once lied or hid it. At the end of the night, he made a deal with me. "Meet me again, not for a date but for a Bible study, four times over the next three weeks, and I'll prove to you that it's not a sin for a man to have multiple wives. If I've convinced you, then we'll keep dating. If not, you can scream, rant, slap me across the face and storm out of the room before telling everyone who will listen what a shameless philanderer I am."
Well, you can guess the rest. We said our vows in 2000 and I've been happily His ever since.
Well, I'll give an example. When I was a teenager, I lived with my parents (missionaries) in Uzbekistan, which was part of the USSR at the time. When they had to cross a checkpoint they'd have to tell the police their reason for travelling, and obviously "to teach a Bible study" was not an acceptable answer. Yet it would be unsuitable for members of the Body of Christ to lie. So what they would tell the authorities is "our brother has died, and we are on our way to read his will." It was the truth. The brother in question was Christ, and the will they were on their way to read was the Bible.
My Husband follows the same rule: "don't lie, but spin the truth in a way that does not attract attention." When anyone asks why another woman lives with my Husband and his licensed wife, the answer is "she's my wife's sister." It's not false. We are both sister wives and sisters in Christ. And it usually is enough to deflect criticism.
Obviously, it's not possible to keep a plural marriage a total secret so we don't try. We just sort of "keep our heads down" and try to avoid undue publicity. The Church knows. When he preaches he does not actively discuss polygyny, but in counsel he acknowledges its validity. Since we're an IFB Church there's not really a central Church authority to rebuke him for that.
Yes, only tell people what is essential. We don't lie; we just say enough of what needs to be said at the time.
We attend a baptist church also, and we have told them one of the wives is a sister. I told the pastor about our beliefs and he has never had a negative thing about it. He has been open to hearing about this. However, we haven't told people in the church about the complete nature of our relationship either.
Wise as serpents and gentle as doves, Amen.
We are open about it in public though. If someone from church sees, they see, I just don't overtly advertise it in the church.
My sw Christie would sometimes tell people she was Steve's mistress. That always ended the conversation.
Did Christie add she was living with wife?My sw Christie would sometimes tell people she was Steve's mistress. That always ended the conversation.
This must be so out of regular experience that conversationalist's brain suffered blue screen of death.
