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Since monogamy is the creation ideal...

frederick

frederick

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Why do churches have/allow single members? If a man arrived with more than one wife, he'd quite possibly be physically barred from entering the building but if a single man arrives, the door is held open for him (probably by several of the single women ;)). How is it that there is such blatant contradiction and no one voices concerns? Share your experiences if you like.
 
Good question, but maybe the wrong one. Showing my well-earned bias here, but to me the question is, how can we imagine that it would be anything other than that churches would make arbitrary rules to exclude certain people so that those who remain can feel superior to those who are shut out? It's the nature of organized religion.

The second-to-the-last church my family and I attended, which is now about 10 years ago (the next one didn't last long), they kept hounding me to join, but I told them repeatedly, "There is no way I'm going to join your church; I abhor the sermons; I enjoy my Sunday School class, because the teacher I always pick, no matter his subject matter, lets me speak my mind theologically. However, if I were to join, I've already seen how you treat those who you consider to be straying from your Wayne-Grudem-Calvinist dogma, and it makes no sense to join a church that would almost immediately begin excommunication proceedings against me." And yet they persisted.

After a lengthy discussion with the pastor about the biblical truths of the legitimacy of polygyny, which ended with this don't-conform-to-the-culture fire-and-brimstone pastor resting solely on that polygamy just goes too far against the culture, he met with my wife and advised her to divorce me. This from a preacher who regularly railed against the "sin of divorce."

And even after that he and the other elders, who had all been told of my apostasy, continued to beg me to join.

I have no remaining desire to witness biblical polygamy to church folks. If some kind of corporate church awakening occurs about polygamy, I believe it will happen long after I'm dead and in my grave. They simply need their secret handshakes, and being disgusted by sex is one of their secret handshakes; because this is the case, they are exponentially opposed to polygamy, because their obsession with sex and being against all forms beyond what they prescribe causes them to only be able to see polygamy as a matter of men trying to get laid more than their fair share.
 
Second answer: in a sense, they don't really permit single members past a certain age. While they're still teenagers, churches do their utmost to attempt to tamp down those adolescent urges. After that, those that don't get married right away are treated so thoroughly as unwelcome (unless they pretend to have no sexual desires or any other sensual desires) that they drive them all off. Those that do return do so after they get married and have a child out of some sense that they better make sure their kids get religion.

Churches are, in my experience having gone to dozens of them, predominantly populated by couples with children, grandfathers dominated by grandmothers, and widows, the last group doing their best to pretend that they just love being lonely and enforcing that standard on their fellow widows while providing moral support to the older women who still have husbands, especially husbands who still have a sex drive.

When a single middle-aged man shows up at church, no kidding, there is a fury of casseroles and female attention, but if the man doesn't rather quickly attach himself to one of the unattached middle-aged women, he tends to start being treated as if he may be some kind of moral threat to the morale of the church.

But maybe these things just represent my experiences.
 
frederick said:
Why do churches have/allow single members? If a man arrived with more than one wife, he'd quite possibly be physically barred from entering the building but if a single man arrives, the door is held open for him (probably by several of the single women ;)). How is it that there is such blatant contradiction and no one voices concerns? Share your experiences if you like.
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I’m pretty sure the creation ideal is that one must be a naked vegan gardener and married to one’s own rib.
 
Keith Martin said:
Second answer: in a sense, they don't really permit single members past a certain age. While they're still teenagers, churches do their utmost to attempt to tamp down those adolescent urges. After that, those that don't get married right away are treated so thoroughly as unwelcome (unless they pretend to have no sexual desires or any other sensual desires) that they drive them all off. Those that do return do so after they get married and have a child out of some sense that they better make sure their kids get religion.

Churches are, in my experience having gone to dozens of them, predominantly populated by couples with children, grandfathers dominated by grandmothers, and widows, the last group doing their best to pretend that they just love being lonely and enforcing that standard on their fellow widows while providing moral support to the older women who still have husbands, especially husbands who still have a sex drive.

When a single middle-aged man shows up at church, no kidding, there is a fury of casseroles and female attention, but if the man doesn't rather quickly attach himself to one of the unattached middle-aged women, he tends to start being treated as if he may be some kind of moral threat to the morale of the church.

But maybe these things just represent my experiences.
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Wow...that's good.
 
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Keith Martin said:
Second answer: in a sense, they don't really permit single members past a certain age. While they're still teenagers, churches do their utmost to attempt to tamp down those adolescent urges. After that, those that don't get married right away are treated so thoroughly as unwelcome (unless they pretend to have no sexual desires or any other sensual desires) that they drive them all off. Those that do return do so after they get married and have a child out of some sense that they better make sure their kids get religion.

Churches are, in my experience having gone to dozens of them, predominantly populated by couples with children, grandfathers dominated by grandmothers, and widows, the last group doing their best to pretend that they just love being lonely and enforcing that standard on their fellow widows while providing moral support to the older women who still have husbands, especially husbands who still have a sex drive.

When a single middle-aged man shows up at church, no kidding, there is a fury of casseroles and female attention, but if the man doesn't rather quickly attach himself to one of the unattached middle-aged women, he tends to start being treated as if he may be some kind of moral threat to the morale of the church.

But maybe these things just represent my experiences.
Click to expand...
The fundamental issue is mostly just making up religiosity as they go. If one mindlessly goes along, all well and good. If you challenge the religiosity, you're out. None of the churches I've been involved with - except the one I was serving as pastor before getting kicked out - would allow men like Abraham, Moses, David. or John the Baptist to speak in their congregations. Why not John the Baptist...??? Because a guy clothed in camel's hair, with a leather belt around his waist and who eats locusts and wild honey wouldn't comply with church bylaws.
 
frederick said:
but if a single man arrives, the door is held open for him (probably by several of the single women ;)).
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I think you actually answered your own question within your question lol.
The majority of churches are dominated and controlled by women through effeminate men as to what is acceptable and unacceptable. The women control the door of acceptance.
 
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