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JustAGuy

JustAGuy

Member
Male
It's so great to finally find a forum of Christians really discussing this! Thanks for putting this together and maintaining it.

It's rather scary to pursue this as there's very little support from the "normal" local church and generally counter cultural (as you all well know) so finding some normal sounding people discussing this is quite a relief!

Looking forward to participating here.

Thanks,

Just A Guy (10+ years married, 1 wife w/couple of kids aged from diapers to starting junior high)
 
Welcome, JAG.
You'll find a lot of good information and some very thought provoking discussions.

-Mike
 
Hello, Justaguy,

Welcome to the site! I know what you mean about the importance of finding normal sounding people talking about these subjects. For years I had lived with the incorrect assumption that this was something that only weirdos were into. It actually worried me that I was beginning to have questions about this and other Bible topics...
I'm sure you'll find, as I have, that this is much like any other group of people. We don't always agree on every point, or come from the same backgrounds, or even belong to the same denominations, etc. But I am also sure that you'll find, as I have, that in spite of all of that the people here are generally very welcoming and friendly!

- Matthew
 
But, but, but ... I LIKE being weird! :eek: :lol:
 
CecilW said:
But, but, but ... I LIKE being weird! :eek: :lol:
Click to expand...

and you do it so well! :lol:

Welcome JAG - nice to have you. Yes - it is amazing how "normal" we all are. People think plural marriage is all about who will sleep with who, what the schedule will look like and what is biblically acceptable and not. They are quite disappointed that like in most marriages it comes down to who takes the trash out, did the dog go for his walk yet and who is going to pick up the kids from soccer. Once they get past that hurdle and realize that we are in fact normal (whatever that definition entails) then they are able to relax and pull up a chair.

Once you get to know a few people a bit better you should ask them what their "escape story" was the first time they met up with us. We all do it. "If these people are really weird and cultish and the women are all Stepford wives then when we need to get out of there we will just tell them that............"

some of the stories they come up with are very entertaining :)
 
Yabut ...

Nobody seems to EXECUTE their escape plan! Instead, they hang around and become FAMILY with/to the rest of us!

See what I mean? Weird! :lol:
 
Wow, I can't believe I'm actually talking to people about this!! I feel like writing a 5000 word post but suffice it to say:

  • Thanks so much for your welcome comments! It feels really good!
  • Looking forward to reading on how to do this following God's heart in our current culture wo/alienating family/friends/colleagues/etc.
  • It's such a different way of doing things compared to most (all?) the people around us (we live in affluent California neighborhood, work at Fortune 50 company, etc) I can't see it working out very well unless we can live near others (well, at least one couple) doing it too but I'm sure there's copious threads on this topic. No need to post here, I'll find them!
Again, thanks everyone - and respect you and your spouse(s)for your bravery in pursuing this together.

-JAG

PS. LOL at the "JAG" as I didn't think of the initials when I coined the moniker.
 
JustAGuy said:
Looking forward to reading on how to do this following God's heart in our current culture wo/alienating family/friends/colleagues/etc.
Click to expand...

Funny you should mention that. If you can figure this one out, please share with the rest of us. As you read a lot of the stories, you'll find this an unfortunately common theme. On the flip side, others have found friends and support that they didn't know they had.
 
We do not have the problem....they do. We do not alienate friends/family etc.....they choose to alienate themselves. (Although we have been fortunate that it has not happened within our family)

But you are right - it is a way too common reaction. Society HAS had a mindset change in the last few years. Thank to the Dargers and the Kody Browns and Big Love people are becoming more accepting.

JAG - you would be surprised at how many polygamous families, or at the very least poly friendly families, exist right under your nose and they are just discreet about it. Of course sometimes you are the one and only within your community, but not always.
 
Welcome JAG! I hope you and your wife will find many helpful and encouraging things on this site. It is a lot to go thru but most will be worth your time. I look forward to getting to know you both better in the future. We would love to have your wife sign up and join in with the ladies on the forum and any Tuesday night for chat. (link at top of forum page).
 
NetWatchR - thanks for the encouragement about friends and support that they didn't know they had. Really don't want to do anything that would decrease my platform to tell tell others about how great Jesus has been to me.

julieb What a great and kind invitation!! Would love my wife to join you! Especially if she can do it privately (without me) - just want her to be safe and ask what she needs - but we're still in infancy of talking about it as a couple so might take some time (more than a few weeks).

The resources page talks about going slow (doing it in His time) which is more needed than I thought (having researched this about 2 years already). How do my wife and I find time to talk about this when it's challenging enough to get thru the other things!? Misconception is people think this is done because couples are having a hard time so you just get another fun/attractive/smart/strong/insert-fallacy-here spouse. Nope. IMHO the opposite is true! If my wife and I don't have a unbelievable amount of really, really, really great healthy communication and self control there's no way we could do it in a God-honoring, loving way.

I'm pretty thunderstruck - I went from thinking there's nobody out there to swimming in a sea of counsel over night!
 
Welcome JAG, it's good to have you here. I was similarly blown away when I first found this site. I would highly recommend you plan to attend a retreat whenever you can, this is the best way of getting to know real people and finding out that they don't just sound normal, they actually are normal. At least, most of us are normal. Or maybe none of us are normal but we're all abnormal together and you'll fit in fine. Or whatever. Go to a retreat!

The Tuesday night ladies chat is for women only, so your wife can only participate without you. My wife highly recommends it and usually tries to be there, apparently they talk about whatever normal women natter about when you put a group of them together, like food, children, and occasionally polygamy, but I don't really know. They seem to enjoy whatever it is they talk about, and my wife has found the support of these ladies extremely helpful as she has dealt with the emotional side of considering polygamy. She's also welcome to talk to anyone one-on-one, we have a private message feature on the forum for that.
 
Now that we've all reinforced the idea about how "normal" we are... it is time for "phase 2"...

Join us! Join us! You know you want to! Bwahahahaha!
:lol:
 
jacobhaivri said:
Now that we've all reinforced the idea about how "normal" we are.,,
Click to expand...
Speak for yourself, Jacobhavri! I keep insisting I'm weird! :roll:

No-one seems to believe it until they meet my alter ego, Sir Bumbleberry... *sigh* :cry:

:lol:
 
Totally laughing out loud. The convo about "normal" reminds me of the saying about how we go looking for the perfect church only to realize it was perfect, until I joined it. :) Tuesday night ladies discussion sounds great and although I'm still intimidated by making steps toward this, the retreat sounds refreshing.

Next steps for me are:
1. Few more Bible things to research.
2. Come to terms that if the door opens for this that it's unlikely my wife and I will ever be in a front-person role (on the school board, CEO of publicly traded company, etc).
3. Bite the bullet and talk more realistically/practically with my wife about this.
4. Pray and see what happens!
 
Good list of tasks, but you've missed the most important, bar praying of course, let's call it task 0:

0: Be the best husband you can be to one wife

There's always more we can do better. Understanding polygamy helps us to understand patriarchy, and God's plans for the family. This puts enormous obligations on husbands, more than the world and church generally teach. You can right now look more into your role in the family, and work on becoming the best husband you can be to the wife you have, and thereby practice skills you will need even more should God bless you with another wife as well. I'm sure your wife would like this focus also!
 
Once again we need a "like" button here! Wonderfully put Samuel, no wonder Sarah married you. :D
 
CecilW said:
jacobhaivri said:
Now that we've all reinforced the idea about how "normal" we are.,,
Click to expand...
Speak for yourself, Jacobhavri! I keep insisting I'm weird! :roll:

No-one seems to believe it until they meet my alter ego, Sir Bumbleberry... *sigh* :cry:

:lol:
Click to expand...

Fair enough, Sir Bumbleberry, but lest you forget: I am a micronationalist among other things, and as the King of Aretesia, I hold the prestigious rank as First Knight of the Knights Aretesian... so there! :p

...but yeah... I'm normal, really I am...
 
Well Sir BumbleBerry is the First Knight of the Round Bubble. So THERE! :ugeek: :mrgreen:

Or Round Fable, or sumpin'!

Can't wait to have your crowd home in the States, amigo. We could joust for the hand of SweetLissa's Wandering Mind, but it's already taken. *sigh* And none of the other fair maidens' alter egos have joined our merry band of NORMAL absurdities! :roll: :lol:
 
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