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The beginning of my journey

MaryandJim

MaryandJim

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I thought I would share my journey with other wives that are or have struggled with PM. When my husband first brought up PM I was dead set against. He gave me a bunch of resources to look at and asked me to research it out. So I did just that and I found that PM was biblical. But what I had struggled with is that we are empty nesters and neither of us can have more children, so I struggled with why my husband wanted a second wife. He kept telling me YHWH had put this on his heart.

And so begins my journey. I did not stop researching and the more I dug into the subject the more convicted I became that this is what we should do. As I progressed on my acceptance and even looking forward to a future addition to our household when YHWH decides our time is right, I find that I have been on this roller-coaster ride of emotions. I am a very confident woman and very secure in my marriage (which has gotten even stronger as we continue on this path), but I found that at times I was less self-confident and jealous. I would talk all this out with my husband, he would anoint me and we prayed through it. On one of my daily prayer walks Abba revealed to me that Jim was not mine to share but belonged to Him.

Over and over again I would be attacked and would question my self-worth. I finally realized that I am not fighting an earthly battle but a spiritual battle and the closer I get to Abba’s will the more I come under these attacks.

During one of my prayer sessions Abba told me that Jim’s wanting a second wife has nothing to do with any shortcomings in me or our relationship…it was about the COVERING Jim could provide another wife. What peace I have found. I am not saying that my spiritual war will stop, but I know that it is spiritual and not flesh and blood, I am learning how to fight it through Him.
 
Thank you for sharing this Mary as it helps us get a broader understanding of some of the battles a wife goes through. Glad you were able to study the issue in the Bible with a heart willing to learn. I know for one of my wives it was quite an eye-opener to discover how much is in the Bible about polygyny and especially about God as a polygynist with Israel and Judah.
 
Thank you for your testimony. It is quite a journey.

It looks like you are in Texas? My wife and I are in Austin.

We are in Texas are trying to get together for periodic face time and fellowship. I started a related Facebook group if you are interested. Look for a group called "Central Texas Polyamy" if you are on Facebook and you are interested.

God bless you and your husband.
 
MaryandJim said:
I thought I would share my journey with other wives that are or have struggled with PM. When my husband first brought up PM I was dead set against. He gave me a bunch of resources to look at and asked me to research it out. So I did just that and I found that PM was biblical. But what I had struggled with is that we are empty nesters and neither of us can have more children, so I struggled with why my husband wanted a second wife. He kept telling me YHWH had put this on his heart.

And so begins my journey. I did not stop researching and the more I dug into the subject the more convicted I became that this is what we should do. As I progressed on my acceptance and even looking forward to a future addition to our household when YHWH decides our time is right, I find that I have been on this roller-coaster ride of emotions. I am a very confident woman and very secure in my marriage (which has gotten even stronger as we continue on this path), but I found that at times I was less self-confident and jealous. I would talk all this out with my husband, he would anoint me and we prayed through it. On one of my daily prayer walks Abba revealed to me that Jim was not mine to share but belonged to Him.

Over and over again I would be attacked and would question my self-worth. I finally realized that I am not fighting an earthly battle but a spiritual battle and the closer I get to Abba’s will the more I come under these attacks.

During one of my prayer sessions Abba told me that Jim’s wanting a second wife has nothing to do with any shortcomings in me or our relationship…it was about the COVERING Jim could provide another wife. What peace I have found. I am not saying that my spiritual war will stop, but I know that it is spiritual and not flesh and blood, I am learning how to fight it through Him.
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This is beautiful Mary may I be so bold as to recommend that you allow God to bring her. He will bring her. Pray for her, not the woman you want but the woman God wants for your family. Pray blessings over her, pray she has a good day, thank God for preparing all of you for her, pray that He works on all of you to receive eachother with grace and mercy. Thank God for the union coming at just the right time. Whatever comes to your mind.

I hope when the time comes for Yahweh to unite me with my husband or family that I see it plainly. I have so much fear over being good enough it is easier sometimes to run rather than be hurt. But I do long for that true love and I pray God will bless me one day with a just the right one. I pray for him/them just as I recommended you pray.

Us single ladies have an entirely different concern... we will join an established marriage. Our struggle isn't feeling jealous or betrayed as many feel, no it is how do we fit in? What if the wife wants to dominate over us. There is so much more but I have really put my heart out there tonight and well I am a bit emotional now LOL so I am going to say goodnight.
Blessings, P.
 
@Patricia C ..I agree about waiting on YHWH to bring her to us. Jim and I have decided to just that. Pray for His will and we will just go out and meet other like minded people and continue to learn all we can and to prepare ourselves for that gift. Blessings to you Patricia and you have given me a little insight into the concerns from PW side and I appreciate that as I had not thought of what you go through.
 
Thank you for sharing Mary, it is so important for others to hear another person's journey. May the Lord continue to bless your marriage and prepare it for the lady who will need the love of you both to find her purpose more clearly.
 
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