VERY INSIGHTFUL! "The Queen's Code" by Alison Armstrong

[Bartato]

A few days ago, I was listening to "The Renaissance of Men" podcast by Will Spencer, and Mr Spencer referenced this book. It sounded very helpful. I downloaded and read it over the last couple days.

Wow!!!

It contains an enormous quantity of extremely helpful material! The content is helpful, but the attitude and mindset of the author is truly extraordinary!

This is a book for women, written by a woman, designed to help women understand men, and appreciate them.

The wisdom and understanding I found in this book took my breath away.

Men are profoundly different than women, and many of the intersexual disappointments that lead to nagging, bitterness, sorrow and despair flow from these incorrect assumptions, and expectations.

Women expect men to think and act like women. Men let women down because they are very bad at fulfilling the female role. Women falsely conclude that men are selfish, and unloving, when they are often merely different. Men think differently and act very differently, and usually have good reasons for the things they do.

I will ask my wife to read this book right away. It contains paradigm shifting and life changing truth! These truths have the potential to save marriages, protect families, help make both women and men much happier, more content, and even physically healthier.

I believe my wife will be tremendously blessed by reading this book and applying it's mindset.

I'm serious;
It's that good!

Please note that this book is not the inerrant and infallible written Word of God, like the Bible.

This book contains errors. I see some problems in it.

Please be diligent, and careful reading. Chew the meat and spit out the bones. I am trusting you to be as cunning as serpents and as innocent as doves.

The author is not a Christian and her sexual ethics reflect that deficiency. The book does contain fornication, and a little feminist inspired thought.

Apart from Christ, and properly submitting to Him, we can never be made truly whole.

That said, I believe the truths lay out in this book largely accord with the way God has made the universe, and created man and woman. I believe women, men, children, and society, would all stand to benefit greatly from women apply this mindset.

Women:
This book might greatly help your marriage, but that is not all.

If you are single, it might help you find a husband.

If you have a father, grandfather, brother, son, grandson, employer, employee, male teacher, student, neighbor, or friend, this book could probably help those relationships.

 

[Bartato]

Speaking of deficiencies in the book, the author's non-Biblical worldview (somewhat new age) does contribute to other weaknesses/errors.

She doesn't deal with God, Christ, Sin,. Righteousness, Guilt, the Cross, Judgement, or Redemption.

That's a big problem!!

Still, she does see wonderful patterns that God has made, and delights greatly in the wonderful differences between men and women.

Presumably by God's common grace, she does see some true and wonderful things.

 

[cnystrom]

Truth is truth, and sometimes the non-faithful still pick up on the patterns created by God, even if they do not understand the how or why. I thought "Men are from Mars, and Women are from Venus" was very good, for example. I have no idea about the author's faith life, as he never discussed it.

Men are profoundly different than women, and many of the intersexual disappointments that lead to nagging, bitterness, sorrow and despair flow from these incorrect assumptions, and expectations.

Women expect men to think and act like women.

I believe that this is a primary reason why women have difficulty with polygamy: because they can not conceive how they can love two men at the same time they find it difficult to understand how a man can love more than one woman at the same time. If you point at that they can love more than one child at the same time they say that is different. Then you say, but that is how men love women, but they find that hard to believe, still.

Also one of the main reason's why people get the Bible wrong about the sexes, when they interpret a command to one sex, to be for both sexes. Matthew 19:9 being but one example of this.

I will check out this book. Thank you for the recommendation.

 

[MemeFan]

I believe that this is a primary reason why women have difficulty with polygamy: because they can not conceive how they can love two men at the same time they find it difficult to understand how a man can love more than one woman at the same time. If you point at that they can love more than one child at the same time they say that is different. Then you say, but that is how men love women, but they find that hard to believe, still.

Why it should be so? I doubt other non-Western civilizations have same problem. I would say it equality assumption of West. Men and women think same.

 

[cnystrom]

In just the sample on Amazon I can see two Biblical principles: 1 Peter 3:1 and also Titus 2: 4-6.

 

[NickF]

Just finished the "prequel" of The Queen's Code. Very good, helped me to understand parts of myself. Definitely some "spiritism" and egalitarian beliefs pervading the ethos of the author. But a valuable book, looking forward to the next in the series. Thanks for the recommendation!

 

[Bartato]

Just finished the "prequel" of The Queen's Code. Very good, helped me to understand parts of myself. Definitely some "spiritism" and egalitarian beliefs pervading the ethos of the author. But a valuable book, looking forward to the next in the series. Thanks for the recommendation!

What is the prequel? Is that the book entitled "keys of the kingdom"?

 

[Bartato]

Truth is truth, and sometimes the non-faithful still pick up on the patterns created by God, even if they do not understand the how or why. I thought "Men are from Mars, and Women are from Venus" was very good, for example. I have no idea about the author's faith life, as he never discussed it.



I believe that this is a primary reason why women have difficulty with polygamy: because they can not conceive how they can love two men at the same time they find it difficult to understand how a man can love more than one woman at the same time. If you point at that they can love more than one child at the same time they say that is different. Then you say, but that is how men love women, but they find that hard to believe, still.

Also one of the main reason's why people get the Bible wrong about the sexes, when they interpret a command to one sex, to be for both sexes. Matthew 19:9 being but one example of this.

I will check out this book. Thank you for the recommendation.

That's a very good point about women and polygamy. They can't imagine having two husbands, think men are the same about wives, and regard men as pigs for being interested in polygamy. They don't understand that men and husbands, women and wives are very different.

That's also a good point about Christians wrongly interpreting a command to one sex as also equally applying to the other.

"You shall not covet your neighbors wife" is wrongly redefined to be "you shall not covet your neighbor's spouse".

 

[NickF]

What is the prequel? Is that the book entitled "keys of the kingdom"?

Yep! Bought both as digital copies, finished the first this morning and half of the Queen's Code this afternoon/evening. I was so impressed that I bought hard copies for Catie to read and to loan out.

 

[Bartato]

Yep! Bought both as digital copies, finished the first this morning and half of the Queen's Code this afternoon/evening. I was so impressed that I bought hard copies for Catie to read and to loan out.

Wow! That's great! I'm glad to hear it.

 

[MemeFan]

That's a very good point about women and polygamy. They can't imagine having two husbands, think men are the same about wives, and regard men as pigs for being interested in polygamy. They don't understand that men and husbands, women and wives are very different.

That's also a good point about Christians wrongly interpreting a command to one sex as also equally applying to the other.

"You shall not covet your neighbors wife" is wrongly redefined to be "you shall not covet your neighbor's spouse".

Real question is why they don't use empathy?

We all have ability to use our mind to put ourself in shoes of another person, to try to imagine how their life looks.

So, why it isn't used? Either man and woman are same and woman's personal experience of her own life is enough or men aren't worth empathy usage.

 

[NS4Liberty]

Just a heads up, Ren of Men will block you if you try talking to him about polygyny. I liked his content, but a while back he blocked me. Still listen to his podcast occasionally.

 

[Bartato]

Real question is why they don't use empathy?

We all have ability to use our mind to put ourself in shoes of another person, to try to imagine how their life looks.

So, why it isn't used? Either man and woman are same and woman's personal experience of her own life is enough or men aren't worth empathy usage.

I think this book basically addresses that issue. When a woman tries to put herself into a man's shoes, ans understand his thoughts, she still looks at things from the female viewpoint. She simply doesn't understand that men think very differently. The woman needs to have some idea of the male thought process (and vice versa).

The author shows that men and women think very differently, that both modes of thought are good and glorious in their own proper sphere, and that we benefit from them both.

 

[Bartato]

Just a heads up, Ren of Men will block you if you try talking to him about polygyny. I liked his content, but a while back he blocked me. Still listen to his podcast occasionally.

Thanks NS4Liberty. I'll keep that in mind. There are a number of these guys that I appreciate in general who don't get polygamy (Joel Webbon, Brian Sauve, Doug Wilson, Jon Harris, Jeff Durbin, etc). Hopefully they will get it sometime.

In Will's (Ren of Men) defense, he is a fairly new Christian, and comes from the manosphere background. When you toss out the word polygamy, his mind might immediately jump to "plate spinning" Andrew Tate, PUA, etc rather than Jacob, Gideon, David, and Josiah.

 

[MemeFan]

I think this book basically addresses that issue. When a woman tries to put herself into a man's shoes, ans understand his thoughts, she still looks at things from the female viewpoint. She simply doesn't understand that men think very differently. The woman needs to have some idea of the male thought process (and vice versa).

The author shows that men and women think very differently, that both modes of thought are good and glorious in their own proper sphere, and that we benefit from them both.

I don't get it.

I'm somehow able to understand female thinking. Why can they can't even be bothered to try to understand man's?

This is also basic of good business. Customer understanding, hello? Which must include customer's values, desires and thinking.

I get it doesn't come naturally. But it can be done with practice.

 

[cnystrom]

I don't get it.

I'm somehow able to understand female thinking. Why can they can't even be bothered to try to understand man's?

This is also basic of good business. Customer understanding, hello? Which must include customer's values, desires and thinking.

I get it doesn't come naturally. But it can be done with practice.

Right. They can, but first of all you have to realize that the sexes ARE different and then learn how they are different.

And you are right, I think, about it not coming naturally and it taking effort and practice. Perhaps part of the reason the older women are to teach the younger women how to love their husbands.

To be fair, I think a lot of men do not understand male thinking either. LOL. They are shocked when they are still attracted to other women after they get married and do not know how to handle it.

 

[MemeFan]

Right. They can, but first of all you have to realize that the sexes ARE different and then learn how they are different.

Correct. But bunch of this is just basic observation and logic. Pregnancy us more dangerous for women, therefire women will be more careful when choosing mate.

To be fair, I think a lot of men do not understand male thinking either. LOL. They are shocked when they are still attracted to other women after they get married and do not know how to handle it.

Well, culture wasn't supposed to be so full of BS as this one.