What manner of men are able to take on multiple wives?
This post has been percolating around in my head for months now and I keep wanting to sit down and flesh it out into a full essay but clearly that isn’t going to happen so here is the truncated version.
I have been around this movement for roughly 15 years, most of those through BibFam. That’s nowhere near as long as some but it’s been long enough to notice to observe some traits that seem common to all of the men that I’ve known to “succeed” at polygyny.
We can express it one of several ways but the easiest is to say that they are entrepreneurial. I know that seems like an inadequate description but think of what that entails; these of men who have a vision, and pursue that vision (they’re active) boldly. They are innovating and building and establishing legacy in the world around them, outside of their marriage(s).
I also don’t necessarily mean that they’re wealthy, although most of them seem to have an above average income and an ability to accumulate and deploy resources. I’ve known a few successful, poor polygynists but not many.
The best example of this I know of would be @MeganC ‘s extraordinary husband Steve, I never had the privilege of meeting him though so I’m going to focus on men I do I know to make the case.
First up is @nathan , he has a history of actively chasing bold visions. I won’t belabor them all but we’re all a part of this organization that he built from the ground up to meet a need he saw that there was no obvious way to fulfill. It was a bold vision and he actively pursued.
@andrew is an even better example, those of you who are newer to the organization and haven’t been to a retreat don’t know his story as well but the man’s life has been nothing but actively pursuing one bold vision after another. It seems like the instant a vision is no longer bold that he actively looks for another one to pursue. I have heard him relate anecdote after anecdote that were nothing but the relentless pursuit of a bold vision. Again, I won’t give details in a public forum but he has built a number of extraordinary institutions outside of the extraordinary family he has built. And yes some of those are traditionally entrepreneurial and some are not.
@PeteR probably needs the least amount of introduction at this point but his active pursuit of bold visions long pre-dates his involvement in polygyny. He was a part of establishing a Torah keeping denomination and his various book projects (all finished and published, not just envisioned) are all excellent examples of the active pursuit of a bold vision.
There are many more examples I could name; @ABlessedMan , @Joleneakamama ‘s husband, @steve and many others.
All of these men showed entrepreneurial vigor and a habit of actively pursuing bold visions. And women flocked to them! The women weren’t swayed by having any old “covering” they could get. They weren’t swayed by a little bit of economic security (although no doubt that helps).
They were swayed by a man who built things that they wanted to be a part of. They were swayed by the adventure. They caught the vision and wanted to be a part of that.
I’m probably shouldn’t be pontificating about a woman’s motivations. I’m probably the last man to have an insight into that, but my observations of many years now has shown me that good looking, intelligent men who are kind with a good sense of humor, good with children and pets and like traveling friends and long walks on the beach; do not get multiple wives.
Men of action with bold visions get the girl. The princess wants to be rescued, not so she can go back to the castle and have tea with her ladies, she wants to be rescued so she can break free and help build a kingdom.
Although the last thing bold men of action worry about is what those around him want. He thinks about what is good and right.
This post has been percolating around in my head for months now and I keep wanting to sit down and flesh it out into a full essay but clearly that isn’t going to happen so here is the truncated version.
I have been around this movement for roughly 15 years, most of those through BibFam. That’s nowhere near as long as some but it’s been long enough to notice to observe some traits that seem common to all of the men that I’ve known to “succeed” at polygyny.
We can express it one of several ways but the easiest is to say that they are entrepreneurial. I know that seems like an inadequate description but think of what that entails; these of men who have a vision, and pursue that vision (they’re active) boldly. They are innovating and building and establishing legacy in the world around them, outside of their marriage(s).
I also don’t necessarily mean that they’re wealthy, although most of them seem to have an above average income and an ability to accumulate and deploy resources. I’ve known a few successful, poor polygynists but not many.
The best example of this I know of would be @MeganC ‘s extraordinary husband Steve, I never had the privilege of meeting him though so I’m going to focus on men I do I know to make the case.
First up is @nathan , he has a history of actively chasing bold visions. I won’t belabor them all but we’re all a part of this organization that he built from the ground up to meet a need he saw that there was no obvious way to fulfill. It was a bold vision and he actively pursued.
@andrew is an even better example, those of you who are newer to the organization and haven’t been to a retreat don’t know his story as well but the man’s life has been nothing but actively pursuing one bold vision after another. It seems like the instant a vision is no longer bold that he actively looks for another one to pursue. I have heard him relate anecdote after anecdote that were nothing but the relentless pursuit of a bold vision. Again, I won’t give details in a public forum but he has built a number of extraordinary institutions outside of the extraordinary family he has built. And yes some of those are traditionally entrepreneurial and some are not.
@PeteR probably needs the least amount of introduction at this point but his active pursuit of bold visions long pre-dates his involvement in polygyny. He was a part of establishing a Torah keeping denomination and his various book projects (all finished and published, not just envisioned) are all excellent examples of the active pursuit of a bold vision.
There are many more examples I could name; @ABlessedMan , @Joleneakamama ‘s husband, @steve and many others.
All of these men showed entrepreneurial vigor and a habit of actively pursuing bold visions. And women flocked to them! The women weren’t swayed by having any old “covering” they could get. They weren’t swayed by a little bit of economic security (although no doubt that helps).
They were swayed by a man who built things that they wanted to be a part of. They were swayed by the adventure. They caught the vision and wanted to be a part of that.
I’m probably shouldn’t be pontificating about a woman’s motivations. I’m probably the last man to have an insight into that, but my observations of many years now has shown me that good looking, intelligent men who are kind with a good sense of humor, good with children and pets and like traveling friends and long walks on the beach; do not get multiple wives.
Men of action with bold visions get the girl. The princess wants to be rescued, not so she can go back to the castle and have tea with her ladies, she wants to be rescued so she can break free and help build a kingdom.
Although the last thing bold men of action worry about is what those around him want. He thinks about what is good and right.
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