Well in my limited experience both I and my wife kept our eyes open and God kind of brought the someone along and with much prayer and suplpication from both my wife and I; I then acted with her full knowledge and acceptance, making sure all the while that I was loving her and that she felt loved and treasured like the blessing and wonderful daughter of the King she is. However, the first attempt did not go so well.
My wife and I have talked at great length about this and in many ways we both keep our eyes open, and our hearts humble before our God seeking to walk in his paths. I of course being the leader of the house, the family would bare the full responsibility of ensuring that any potential wife that was pursued was indeed going to build the family up and not bring it down. However, that does not in any way exclude my current wife or wives as it may be to have and voice there opinion on the matter. I personally feel convicted that it would not be loving to marry another women if your current wife or wives was against it. In the end I would do more of the pursuing, as Christ pursues us, but in the initial moments of determining if a women was qualified to be a wife, the current wife or wives would be very much involved, because snubbing that great resource would be more then foolish. Here is a rough draft of qualifications that my wife wrote out after many discussions on the topic so that I could make sure I knew definitely were she was coming from, they are still in the works and will most likely change in certain areas as I/we review them.
Qualities and Character desired in additional wives:
Requirements:
1. Strong growing Christian. A woman who has a desire to seek the truth straight from scriptures and follow what she finds. You don’t need to know everything, but the more background in the scriptures you have the better.
2. Virgin or widow. This is because we want to be safe rather than sorry. An unjustly divorced woman might also be an option in the future but further study on this subject is required for us to be able to determine definitely.
3. Loves Children. This does not mean you have to give birth to tons of babies. It means that we’d like you to have a heart to minister to children and to be able to love your sister-wives’ children as your own.
4. Respect. A woman who is able to show respect to individuals in the household by being able to control her tongue, tone and mannerisms is a blessing indeed. In no way does this mean be a doormat. You need to be able to express your needs, desires, and hurts as they come up; just in a way that is respectful and honoring to the person involved. This is a way of showing love in our house.
5. Loyalty. This is a must. We don’t believe divorce is an option in any situation for us and expect the same level of dedication once the decision to join our family has been made.
6. Debt. School loans are usually acceptable, especially if you intend to have a career. Large credit card debt is not desired. We need to see that you have the ability and desire to be a good steward of finances with plans of getting out of debt if you have some.
7. Sex. We believe bi-sexuality is wrong and sexual intimacy between sister-wives is forbidden in our household.
If I (1st wife) were to label our family now I’d say we are a team; unified with like-mindedness and common goals. We’re looking for more team players to join our family: a woman/women who can find themselves expressing their gifts and talents while accomplishing our common goal.
Like-mindedness:
1. Childrearing – Is very important to us. We strive to provide the best we can for them in means of parental attention, spiritual leadership, education, nutrition, and physical fitness. We do this currently by:
1. Having a stay at home mom
2. Having family Bible readings
3. Homeschooling
4. Adhering to the Weston A. Price Foundation diet
5. Practicing some of Glen Doman’s suggestions in how to make your child physically superb.
2. Weston A Price Foundation diet – This has been a journey for us approximately the last 2 years. We have researched extensively food and nutrition and found that this lifestyle is the best one for our family. We don’t want to create divisions in our family so we ask that woman/women considering our family to please read about this extensively or have long conversations with us about it. This a journey we’re still on as a family and we’re learning little by little how to prepare food the way humanity used to before it was lost in the industrialized culture. We’re not perfect, nor are we Nazi’s on food. We occasionally eat out and eat with thankfulness and greatfullness what is served to us when we are guests at people’s homes.
Basic summary:
1. Traditionally preparation of foods (Soaking, sprouting, fermenting ect.)
2. Grass-fed animals that have been treated with kindness and respect.
3. Organic and locally grown as much as possible
4. Raw Milk
3. Holistic Medicine – This has also been a recent journey for us. The biggest part for us in holistic medicine we know there are natural, non invasive ways to help your body heal its self and we think that everything should be tried first before elective surgery or drugs. We practice these things related to holistic medicine:
1. Nutrition
2. Exercise
3. Herbs & Supplements
4. Detoxing
5. Probiotics
6. Massage
7. Chiropractor
8. Home Birth whenever possible.
4. Politics – We are conservative. We don’t particularly like either party right now and are currently most associated with the Tea Party movement. We go to the Bible for our answers to political questions and strive to vote as true to God’s moral standards as possible.
Family Goals:
* Raising strong Christian children who follow God’s word and have a relationship with Jesus rather then a religion to follow.
* Build a family empire that is rooted in God’s word and built on the love of Jesus.
* Get out of debt
* Become self-supported missionaries in Brazil
* Minister to orphan’s in Brazil
* Buy a large plot of land which we can become self sustained on
* Own and run a bed & breakfast
* Own lots of exotic and domestic animals
With all these points in mind I (1st wife) am looking for other wife/wives for my husband who can also be my best friend(s). When I picture the woman(women) I am looking for I have two potential types in mind.
* The first is one who wants to be more of a housewife and share childrearing, and household responsibilities with me. She could potentially also have a part time job if she desires.
* The second one is a woman who wants to have a career and yet still loves children. This woman should be family oriented while still maintaining her job.
If we acquire a woman who desires to be full-time in the workforce, as more children come along there probably will be a growing need for the woman described first.
Reasons for wanting a 2nd, 3rd or more wives:
As the 1st wife I want more wives for my husband because I truly wish to bless him and our family. I don’t see another woman as a threat, rather a valuable asset who can bless our entire family with her gifts and talents. I believe that a good woman of God is like a rare jewel, a crown, a perfect piece of jewelry and I see the benefits in having another woman around. I am a person who likes to have people around me in my home. I clean better, I cook better, I am a better, more motivated person when I have someone to talk with or to have them just be there. My husband can not be with me all day long and even if he could I find there are some things that are irreplaceable in a another woman’s company that even a husband can’t fill. I also recognize that I have specific talents and gifts in areas and not much in others. This is why I think having more women in the family would be wonderful. We would achieve a much more rounded family, with more spiritual gifts and talents, more support for one another and more love all around.
