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Why stop at 2 wives, why not 3 or 4 or 5...?

PolyPride

PolyPride

Member
Most of the poly-practicing guys that I know of on this forum only have 2 wives. I'm wondering if 2 is the magic number or limit or would any guy here consider having more than 2 wives. I personally would only want 2 wives the most so that I don't stretch myself too thin.

So what about everyone else here?

Are there any problems or negatives with having too many wives?

Would this be "excessive" polygamy?

Are there any biblical passages that speak to this or prohibit having too many wives?
 
We arn't aiming to stop at 2, we have 2 we are interested in now (though only one has reasonable potential right now). But if each relationship we solidify will undoubtedly make us busier and less interested in going looking for the next one. Of course if the right woman came right into our lives we wouldn't say no no mater how many.
 
As for scriptures giving guidance about numbers I can only think of one.

The Parable of Ten Virgins (Matthew 25:1-12) seems to indicate the maximum would be at least ten. The parable uses the example of ten virgins waiting for a bridegroom. But only five of them are prepared to wait long enough and thus only five are taken into the wedding. Since I don't want to believe that Christ would turn anyone away who actually kept the faith and it was the choice of the foolish virgins not to do so it would seem to me that the example would allow for up to ten wives. And Christ would not use a sinful example as a comparison to the Kingdom of God.

Wesley.
 
This might be annoying to some, but here's my take:

Given that I think we need to provide even better for our wives and families, than the World, or even most of the Church, does - not just materially or physically or time-wise, but love, guidance, protection and more - I think that most men will hit their personal "wall" long before 10 or even the Isaiah 4:1 7 wives. Of course, some are not even up to one, and I think the vast majority should stop at one. Of the rest, I think very few are able to properly meet needs beyond 2 or 3 wives. In fact, I'll just throw down the gauntlet and say that in 14 years of being around Christian plural marriage, I don't believe I've yet met a man who I though would be up to properly loving and providing everything for 4 women. The only men I've met with 4 or more wives, in fact, were clearly NOT up to that challenge, and thus failed miserably, in one way or another. We need to focus on the quality in our plural marriages, not the quantity.

Maybe God will raise up better men than we yet are, or have yet seen, who'll provide for 7 wives without breaking a sweat, with all 7 of those hearts going pitter-patter all the time. But I haven't seen it yet. Just sayin'.

So your personal 'limit' is not in the Word - it's in you. If you want to raise your limit - be a better husband to your current wife/wives.
 
There's an old poem, attributed to a Rabbi's wife whch says ...

"One is too few,
Two will fight,
Three will take sides,
But four's just right."

Having quoted that bit of humorous wisdom, I also second every word of Nathan's observation.
 
To me I believe I can take care of at least two to three women. But I'm not rich! I would love a large family and be able to still do stuff with them, even if you and your spouse do agree on making your family bigger, it's wise to save and work harder to be able to buy food, pay the bills and so on.
 
If a man can handle more than 2 women, let alone 1, then more power to you. Sometimes it's not a matter of how much money you have or how good of a lover you are, but it's a matter of finding the TIME to develop and sustain "enough" intimacy with each of your wives. Some men I'm sure no matter how good they think they are would run into the problem of the women feeling like they're not spending enough time with them and the more wives you add to the picture, the more of a problem that would become imo. I would only want 2 wives personally, if I had the chance.
 
In today's times, it is often hard to economically support even one set of wife and children - especially with food costs skyrocketing. In actual dollars, my wife and I spend as much now to feed the 2 of us as we once did to feed 4 kids as well. One must also count the time to be a father as well as a husband. With all apologies to Gideon, I don't think I could properly be a father to 71 children. I mean, you'd need a huge party barge just to take 'em fishing on the lake. And can you imagine the noise that many kids would make in the woods - there wouldn't be any deer left in the county. But more seriously, I believe Ephraim has the right idea. If you are going to have a large family, a farm setting would be ideal. Raising your own food would substantially cut the debit side of the budget. There's also room for a large home and the opportunity to be more discrete than having 2-3 women going and coming to the same house in suburbia. Not to mention the parking issue. Given the right circumstances and the Lord's calling, I could see a man having more than 2 wives - as long as they got along without rivalry. I believe it would take a very Godly group to live together with three or more wives. I'm not a fan of the multiple houses idea really. I feel a family should live together - although that could be a residue of my monogamistic upbringing.

Dave
 
Nathan7 said:
This might be annoying to some, but here's my take:

I think that most men will hit their personal "wall" long before 10 or even the Isaiah 4:1 7 wives. Of course, some are not even up to one, and I think the vast majority should stop at one.
Click to expand...

I think the quote from Nathan7 above is spot-on. In my corner of the world, however, it seems that many men ought to not even start with one wife and would do humanity a favor if they remained celebate!

T-C
 
Nathan7 said:
This might be annoying to some, but here's my take:

Given that I think we need to provide even better for our wives and families, than the World, or even most of the Church, does - not just materially or physically or time-wise, but love, guidance, protection and more - I think that most men will hit their personal "wall" long before 10 or even the Isaiah 4:1 7 wives. Of course, some are not even up to one, and I think the vast majority should stop at one. Of the rest, I think very few are able to properly meet needs beyond 2 or 3 wives. In fact, I'll just throw down the gauntlet and say that in 14 years of being around Christian plural marriage, I don't believe I've yet met a man who I though would be up to properly loving and providing everything for 4 women. The only men I've met with 4 or more wives, in fact, were clearly NOT up to that challenge, and thus failed miserably, in one way or another. We need to focus on the quality in our plural marriages, not the quantity.

Maybe God will raise up better men than we yet are, or have yet seen, who'll provide for 7 wives without breaking a sweat, with all 7 of those hearts going pitter-patter all the time. But I haven't seen it yet. Just sayin'.

So your personal 'limit' is not in the Word - it's in you. If you want to raise your limit - be a better husband to your current wife/wives.
Click to expand...

Wisely said. Thank you. As usual.
 
I am not so sure those 10 virgins were all going to marry the same man in that parable, they could have been guests who were waiting to see the wedding. Correctly me if I am wrong.

Furthermore no where in the 10 virgin parable is there a command to limit to the number 10

The limit is based on Exoduds 21:10. There are three things a husband must supply.

The maximum number of wives is the maximum number that the husband can supply the three things in Exodus 21:10 to, which may be different for each person.
 
Re: Large How

Romantic rebel, it is lucky this is the "Gentlemen Only" section. I have a large how, but hadn't thought to mention it before. Looks like it is two plus for me. ylop.
 
Re: Large How

ylop said:
Romantic rebel, it is lucky this is the "Gentlemen Only" section. I have a large how, but hadn't thought to mention it before. Looks like it is two plus for me. ylop.
Click to expand...

I agree! Don't be confused by my nick name, I'm a male. I do like how the duggar family has their home. If you ever want children or your spouses can share a room or use two and bathroom.
 
Re: Large How

ylop said:
Romantic rebel, it is lucky this is the "Gentlemen Only" section. I have a large how, but hadn't thought to mention it before. Looks like it is two plus for me. ylop.
Click to expand...
i have a medium size how, but i do not think that it would limit the number of wives........
 
Nathan7 said:
This might be annoying to some, but here's my take:

Given that I think we need to provide even better for our wives and families, than the World, or even most of the Church, does - not just materially or physically or time-wise, but love, guidance, protection and more - I think that most men will hit their personal "wall" long before 10 or even the Isaiah 4:1 7 wives. Of course, some are not even up to one, and I think the vast majority should stop at one. Of the rest, I think very few are able to properly meet needs beyond 2 or 3 wives. In fact, I'll just throw down the gauntlet and say that in 14 years of being around Christian plural marriage, I don't believe I've yet met a man who I though would be up to properly loving and providing everything for 4 women. The only men I've met with 4 or more wives, in fact, were clearly NOT up to that challenge, and thus failed miserably, in one way or another. We need to focus on the quality in our plural marriages, not the quantity.

Maybe God will raise up better men than we yet are, or have yet seen, who'll provide for 7 wives without breaking a sweat, with all 7 of those hearts going pitter-patter all the time. But I haven't seen it yet. Just sayin'.

So your personal 'limit' is not in the Word - it's in you. If you want to raise your limit - be a better husband to your current wife/wives.
Click to expand...

This was most assuredly NOT annoying to me. I'll just "+1" this as I agree with every word Nathan wrote here.

Excellent response to the guestion at hand!!

T-C
 
Cow fam said:
May anyone considering such things lightly be shown the error of their ways before they step out in pride to "become more of a man" by taking another wife.
Click to expand...

Probably you didn't intend to imply that a man with just one is less of a man, but rather just accepting more from God and the extra challenges it provides.
 
If I understood your quotes around the term "more of a man", ChrisM, you were throwing light sarcasm at those who you have encountered who would look at the issue of PM in that light. In other words, you were recognizing that some do, and disagreeing with them.

You're all good. *grin*
 
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