If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?
House Guarded By Shotgun 3 Days A Week. Guess Which Days.
Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
If you think things can't get worse it's probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.
if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN
A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station...
The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway
Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
Actual Headline: Joint Committee Investigates Marijuana Use
"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." -- Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989
For every action there is an equal and opposite government program. - Bob Wells
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know. – Abraham Lincoln
I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here. – Stephen Bishop
I’ve noticed that everyone who is for abortion has already been born - Ronald Reagan
The devil is the father of lies, but he neglected to patent the idea, and the business now suffers from competition. - Josh Billings
I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
Remember, half the people you know are below average.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
The colder the x-ray table the more of your body is required on it.
The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving isn’t for you.
Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law.
House Guarded By Shotgun 3 Days A Week. Guess Which Days.
Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
If you think things can't get worse it's probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.
if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN
A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station...
The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway
Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
Actual Headline: Joint Committee Investigates Marijuana Use
"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." -- Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989
For every action there is an equal and opposite government program. - Bob Wells
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know. – Abraham Lincoln
I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here. – Stephen Bishop
I’ve noticed that everyone who is for abortion has already been born - Ronald Reagan
The devil is the father of lies, but he neglected to patent the idea, and the business now suffers from competition. - Josh Billings
I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
Remember, half the people you know are below average.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
The colder the x-ray table the more of your body is required on it.
The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving isn’t for you.
Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law.
Win!