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Would you let your wife have a man in the house?

Revgill87123

Revgill87123

Member
Male
Ok so I didn't have enough room to post this question in sub-line. The question was " Would you let your wife have another man that is a friend of hers hang at your house while you aren't there? Yes or no and why or why not?" I personally trust my wife but the way rumors can fly or the fact that you could be having problems or he could even make a pass cause aren't there and it gives opportunity for some thing to happen. I have noticed that a lot of men agree with this. As to where a lot of women I have spoke with so far have disagreed. Most women who disagree tell me they aren't ever going to have any thing happen, that if the guy is just a friend then that's it. I have how ever seen a lot of infedlity as well as a lot of divorces happen over this because of rumors are so easily givin reason to spread. So what is every one elses take on this?
 
I can say with 100% certainty that this would not happen in my household. Relative yes, friend NO! There is no way I would consider it appropriate to be alone with a man for any length of time. Even if it were entirely innocent, there could be the appearance of evil. Even if hubby knew that it was entirely innocent, he might have to defend my honor and if that happens, it doesn't matter how innocent it is, the damage is done.

SweetLissa
 
we do not consider this a problem. i have complete trust in my wife and would/do laugh at any rumors. she does need to be wise about who she trusts and allows in the house.
if my wife had ever given me reason for concern i would not be as open to it.
"hanging out" though, could be a problem depending on the situation. i will go on a case by case basis on that one.
 
I have a few male friends but they are part of a couple so if they come over then they either come with their wives, come when hubby is here, or come when my children (teenagers) are here. The one time recently one male friend came over when nobody but me was home was to pick something up and after he got it, we had a chat on the front porch. I personally am one though who is uncomfortable with even repair guys or the cable guy coming over when my husband is not home. I guess my perspective is skewed though since as a teenager I was baby sitting and the guy next door (brother of a friend at the time) came into the house uninvited and attempted to sexually assault me. Now I am just hesitant to be in a situation without my protector there. My husband trusts me, but it is the men unsupervised I tend to not trust.

Becca
 
Beccablue,
Your perception is not skewed. You have experienced the innate evil-ness of the world. Sin just is. It will happen if we let it. Considering your husband your protector is the best thing for you and for your marriage. Of course we have to function without our mates by our side, but when we do, we must be cautious. I would rather err on the side of caution then get myself into a situation that could create problems.

Our husband trusts us too. But the world is not trust-worthy and the enemy is always trying to get us to let our guard down.

SweetLissa
 
No way Jose. This would not fly in our home. I don't even email a guy without CC-ing hubby. We've always had pretty strict rules when it comes to interaction with the opposite sex for various reasons. There is the appearance of evil aspect but also the fact that we're human. Anyone who thinks he/she is beyond certain sin deceives themselves. I think everyone is capable of that which they think they would never do so it's best to flee from any situation that could be tempting or could look bad - even if it seems innocent enough. I once had a friend who laughed at how strict we were but she ended up having an affair with a guy she met online...innocently...just started out chatting as friends. Granted, sin starts in the heart but we still should be careful no matter how godly we think we are. Just look at King David, right???
 
There are only 3 men over 18 that are allowed in my home while I am not there, but I am their coach and Becky is like a mother too them. I coach special olympics so these kids are like our kids. They come over a lot!!! We have even taken them in when their parents are at their whits end. Those are the only ones allowed though. I do how ever not mind if they come with their wives then I am ok with it. As a pastor of a church I won't even go to a single womans home with out another member of the church. Just can't be too careful!
 
Depends weather its her freind or our freind. With my best friends I wouldn't mind because I know them and trust them. Other than that no. It would have to be a pretty rare situation though, we usually hang out in groups anyway.
 
Not in amillion years. The only man that is ever allowed in our home when hubby isn't here is my father. It's not that hubby doesn't trust me, or that I don't trust other men, but it's just one of those things where you have to take into account "what looks" as opposed to "what is". Many of our married male friends come by here for many reasons, but none of them are let in the house if hubby isn't home. I have stood out in the cold with a male friend rather than have them inside because I don't want neighbors, them or hubby to get the wrong impression. like wise, and I don't know if it matters to the men here, but hubby has sat on the porch with females when I wasn't home.
 
Oh it matters and I do the same. Although I used too,lol. I got a housefull right now, so home alone don't happen too often.

clyde44 said:
Not in amillion years. The only man that is ever allowed in our home when hubby isn't here is my father. It's not that hubby doesn't trust me, or that I don't trust other men, but it's just one of those things where you have to take into account "what looks" as opposed to "what is". Many of our married male friends come by here for many reasons, but none of them are let in the house if hubby isn't home. I have stood out in the cold with a male friend rather than have them inside because I don't want neighbors, them or hubby to get the wrong impression. like wise, and I don't know if it matters to the men here, but hubby has sat on the porch with females when I wasn't home.
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There have been numerous times that a male friend has come over to drop off/pick up a tool or something from my husband when he wasn't there, but they will usually either bring their wife or just stand on the porch while I get what they came for. I don't even think Cecil has ever come by without Cindy with him. Zephyr doesn't stop unless he sees Paul's truck in the driveway. So as far as male friends, it has never been an issue. On the other hand, we own a home-based business. We do have an employee that is a guy and is here working sometimes when Paul is gone meeting with a client. It has never crossed my mind that there would be anything less than appropriate implied or otherwise from him. I have also had to be here for delivery truck drivers and suppliers which are all male. I guess I have my "work hat" on for those people and it doesn't seem to me or them that I'm a woman without her husband around. Then again, with as many kids as we've got running around, it's hard for Paul to make a pass at me without a witness!
 
We have created more than the two witness required by scripture :cool: , and most men will not cross the line with a woman that has a baby on one hip, knows how to drive the forklift, and a .38 special strapped at the small of her back. It tends to sober them up a bit, although I have heard that some men find it rather attractive.
 
I know that personally I wouldn't want another man in the house while he was gone. With the exception of my many brothers and/or other relatives.
 
Paul not the apostle said:
...although I have heard that some men find it rather attractive.
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«= (Raises hand)
 
Paul not the apostle wrote:...although I have heard that some men find it rather attractive.



«= (Raises hand)
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well, amy dun cured me of that attraction (UAH perfesser)
 
"forklift?" My wife has fed me some big meals but I just don't see the forklift trimmed in lace running around the kitchen thing. Besides, I can lift my own fork. I stay out of her way when she is vacuuming though but never thought of having a vacuum that beeped when it backed up.
 
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