I'm new and interested; A few questions

[mrscottyl]

There is a book about Scriptural Marriage entitled "I Am My Beloved's". You can order it at http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/i-am-my-beloveds/11487540 If there is anything we can do, just let us know.

Scott

[Sevensins]

I only have two points to make. It is not the wife's position to end any marriage, If she left her husband she clearly doesn't know her place in Gods authority. 1 Corinthians 11:9 and Romans 7:1,2,3. Second, I would not suggest the subject of Plural marriage to him if your marriage is not going well. No where in that beginning thread does Plural marriage sound like it could help either party. I agree very much with prayer and a real heart to heart conversation with your husband on how you truly feel about your marriage. Okay I lied... I do have more to say. To me, if you're not in a strong Religions family, a lot of prayer with some marriage counseling and just forget the plural marriage idea. Introducing PM to a non religious man with marriage issues leads me to think he would try it only for sexual relationship with another women. Sounds a little bit like Sarai and Hagar. Genesis 16:2 How could he be the head of the household for multiple wives when he isn't capable with one wife. If you two are in a Religious family I would not suggest PM at this point since your relationship is not a bond of two people in one. Genesis 2:24.

Seven

[sweetlissa]

Cherishme,
I want to put in my thoughts here as well. Biblical Families is about saving families. We do not promote or encourage divorce, but as a whole we do not judge those who are divorced. There are members who have different opinions, and I am afraid you will get hit with a few of them.

I want to walk with the other women on this board who have encouraged you to find a Godly way to save the marriage you have. Going through a divorce is the single most painful process you will ever go through. And because you have children with him, he will never be completely out of your life anyway. I have seen people post that husbands who couldn't have cared less about their children, get very involved (negatively) when their ex-wife becomes part of a plural marriage.

All I am trying to say is that Divorce is not an answer. Anyone who has endured one will likely be the first one to tell you "Stop!" "Think about this!" It does more than take him from you. It completely rearranges your life. People who you think love you, turn their backs on you. People who you thought would stand with you "no matter what" walk away and choose sides.

I know those traits are hard to live with. But you would be amazed at what you can do by praying. And by submitting. Much of his negativity is from your criticism.

I would like to ask you to try something. Just for one day, try to find only nice things to say to him. Only praise him. Ignore anything negative. Thank him for going to work every day so that you can raise your children right. It doesn't matter that you don't feel it, he needs to hear it. Praise him. And avoid thinking negative thoughts too. The thoughts in your head are visible on your face.

If possible, try to remember that you are the bride of Christ. If Jesus walked in your door after work each night, how would you act? That is how you should act for your husband. Honor him and respect him. You will have to teach him to love you again.

He would rather please a loving and appreciative wife than be negative to a critical wife. For a day, say NOTHING negative.

Pro 21:19 It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.
Eph 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

I am not blaming you, but trying to help you see the rut you are both in. It is time for one of you to break free of the rut. He can't so you must. You can only control your behavior. You must trust God to take care of hubby's behavior and attitude.

I am available by PM if you need to talk.

SweetLissa

[PolyPride]

It is not the wife's position to end any marriage, If she left her husband she clearly doesn't know her place in Gods authority. 1 Corinthians 11:9 and Romans 7:1,2,3.

Biblically-speaking this is true, but I think she can at least bring up the issue of divorce to him and ask him to follow through. She can also separate from him until he does. That's not the best idea but I think it's allowable by Biblical standards (Deuteronomy 24:1-4).

[PolyPride]

I'm currently a housewife, not happily married. Looking for a change. Since becoming a housewife 7 years ago, I've discovered how lonely it is. What I've been craving all these years are some people to share the endless chores with, people to talk to. I just discovered this forum, before today I didn't know there were people practicing this lifestyle (except for some groups that have broken away from the Mormon church).

So here are my main questions:

1) I thought this practice was illegal? Is it or isn't it? If it is, how do you get away with it? I'm vaguely aware of at least one man going to jail for something related to this?

Yes it is classified as a "criminal" offense, but it is rarely prosecuted. The greater chances are that you don't have to worry about it if you do decide to engage in it. Then again there are some folks who are trying to have polygamy decriminalized or made legal which I think is long overdue.

2) Are the men wealthy enough to support their wives and children, or do the women need to earn incomes to help support the families too?

Others have answered this, but I know in this culture and age, a lot of wives are no longer totally dependent on the husband. With women's rights and all women have advanced and are now working just as much as the men in some cases so many wives can support themselves.

All in all, I think it would be a beautiful lifestyle. Not every woman would agree, but I'm one that does.

It can be a beautiful lifestyle, esp. when both wives make good companions as well. By default you could have the closest friend you can have who can relate to the exact same marriage as you and you also have a husband. To some women, the social benefits of this is priceless.

[Revgill87123]

Well first off Plural Marriage isn't going to save your marriage if any thing it will make it worse if you are already un happy. Before adding any one to your family why don't you and your husband sit down and find find out where you are with God. Because untill you get that fixed your marriage and a marriage to any one else isn't going to work. IMHO

Sorry it took me this long to write back, but I seen this and had to respond.

I'm currently a housewife, not happily married. Looking for a change. Since becoming a housewife 7 years ago, I've discovered how lonely it is. What I've been craving all these years are some people to share the endless chores with, people to talk to. I just discovered this forum, before today I didn't know there were people practicing this lifestyle (except for some groups that have broken away from the Mormon church).

So here are my main questions:

1) I thought this practice was illegal? Is it or isn't it? If it is, how do you get away with it? I'm vaguely aware of at least one man going to jail for something related to this?

2) Are the men wealthy enough to support their wives and children, or do the women need to earn incomes to help support the families too?

All in all, I think it would be a beautiful lifestyle. Not every woman would agree, but I'm one that does.