My Spirit is terribly grieved by your e-mails and I pray you will read and pray about all I am writing to you. I would lovingly plead with No Greater Joy and Mike and Debi Pearl to seek the LORD and His Word on this issue before giving other women the advice you have given me. Before I wrote to NGJ, I already sensed in my Spirit what the LORD was telling me and I thought perhaps NGJ would confirm that just based on everything Mike and Debi wrote in "Created to Be His Help Meet". Unfortunately, that was not the case. Why is that unfortunate? Because NGJ will be contributing to tearing families apart in giving such advice and that is scary ground to be treading on. Many women most likely consider advice coming from NGJ to be the word of God and would therefore heed it rather than leaving room that NGJ is a ministry made up and men and women who only "know in part."
I understand your line of thinking because I felt the same way until I realized I had been reading my Bible through glasses with western American Christian lenses. If one would simply take the Bible for what it says, it is quite clear that polgyny (a husband having more than wife) is totally acceptable with God as are monogamy or celibacy. And after much prayer and study, the LORD changed my heart to get on my husband's page and accept that this is God's plan for our family.
Regarding the verses you referenced (1 Timothy 3) where Paul lays out the qualifications for a bishop or a deacon: First off, if you take those verses at face value, he is not condemning a man having more than one wife. He is only saying that to be in leadership, a man should have only one wife. So, that would tell you right there it was normal for a man to have more than one wife. Secondly, words are often mistranslated from the Hebrew or Greek to English. If you look up "one" in those verses, it can mean "first". In that case, a bishop or deacon should be the husband of his "first" wife, meaning, he should not divorce or put away his first wife in order to take others. This would go along with Malachi 2 when it discusses why God hates divorce b/c a man deals treacherously with the "wife of his youth." A man should not put away the wife of his youth to have another wife...he should love all his wives and God even gives instructions on this in Exodus 21:10 which says, "If he take him another wife; her food, her raiment, and her duty of marriage, shall he not diminish." If God considers polygyny wrong, why would He give instructions on how to go about it?
And as far as the quotes from Dr. Griffith, how bold to say polygyny is wrong for everyone. Were Abraham, Jacob, David, Solomon, Elkanah, and so many others in the Bible wrong? If it was so "wrong", God would have condemned all of those godly men for having more than one wife...but he never did. David was only condemned for taking another man's wife and killing the husband. Otherwise, God says He GIVES wives to men - 2 Samuel 12:8 "I gave you your master’s house and your master’s wives into your keeping, and gave you the house of Israel and Judah. And if that had been too little, I also would have given you much more!" In the New Testament, Jesus uses a bridegroom and 10 virgins in the Matthew 25 parable. Would Jesus use such a "wrong" analogy in describing Himself?
The Bible clearly tells us it is not against God's law for a man to have more than one wife. God never condemns it and you will not find it listed as something that keeps one from inheriting the Kingdom or gets one cast into the lake of fire. And it is not against man's law for a man to be committed to more than one woman. It is only against the law if my husband asks the state to recognize both marriages.
Pat, you said, "I would not let my husband have the best of both worlds, I have to much respect for myself then that and you should too, don't let him play a games with you." From one wife to another, let me as gently as possible tell you I had the exact same thoughts until I realized that is pride and selfishness speaking out. I had to learn that attitude is not of the LORD, that is my flesh. And as Mike Pearl said in CTBHHM, Jesus did not live his life in ease and for his own pleasure. He lived and suffered for the glory that was to follow. And even if this causes me some suffering, I also see countless blessings and glory to come.
Just as Jesus was persecuted and judged by the religious of His day, those of us who feel called to polgyny are experiencing the same thing in this time period. This helps convince me all the more this is a cross to bear and that the LORD is pleased when we walk this out especially since it is all about loving others and sacrificing for each other just like Jesus did for us.
In summary, please think carefully about what you just advised me before you tell others the same. You told me I might have to let my husband go. So, you have basically advised me to take our 4 children away from an amazing, godly husband and father because he is doing something that our founding forefathers of the faith did. Please do not condemn a god-fearing man who lives a life pleasing to the LORD and is unselfish enough and wise enough with his finances to be able to provide for not one wife, but two.
With all sincerity and love for the LORD,
Heather
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