Hello everyone. I am looking for advice. I know what God wants me too do and I have prayed about it for many years now, yet I am still not doing it. Polygamy is one of them. My wife and I courted a girl for sometime but it did not work out due to trust adultery, and she was very rebellious. I knew she was not the right girl yet I still persuid it. I knew she was wrong for us, however my wife became very attached, and still misses her too this day. My situation is my wife goes back and forth about it one day she wants it and the next she tells me I hurt her heart by wanting it. But my thing is when we are ok and she tells me ok things seem to go better in our lives and I feel like God is looking at me saying this is good, even our financial stuff gets better, but when she turns and says no it seems everything starts to go wrong. First I feel like I am not doing what God had clearly told me too do, second everything starts to fall apart including finances. It seems when I am looking God gives me much more and everyone is happy. But when I am not looking all is taken away. I have watched this several times, and I have prayed hundreds if not thousands of times that God please if this is something you do not want me too do or if I am doing it for the wrong reasons please tell me, please take these thoughts away. But instead I get the answer this is what I am to do, so I pray again God please remove all selfish things from me and fill me with your will, and God please make me selfless. But I still get the same answer. I am married and understand that it makes my wife feel like she is not enough but she is in fact she is more than enough so why is it that I keep getting the same answer from God and feel like I am sinning by not doing what he has told me to do ? Am I crazy? Does anyone else have this issue or feel this way? Please I would really love your advise and mostly from women if you are able and willing to give a little time with your advice on how I should handle this and what I should do.
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Advice
- Thread starter Rt29palms
- Start date
as I understand it, you feel that God has told you that you will be involved in poly.
you have not said that God gave you a time-line. nor did He tell you who to marry.
this could take a really long time.
it may involve Him waiting for you to become the man that He desires for you to be before you see it moving forward.
keep praying,
keep growing,
keep loving the wife that you have been blessed with.
you have not said that God gave you a time-line. nor did He tell you who to marry.
this could take a really long time.
it may involve Him waiting for you to become the man that He desires for you to be before you see it moving forward.
keep praying,
keep growing,
keep loving the wife that you have been blessed with.
I have to agree with Steve. God may be "leading" you to a plural marriage, in other words you are headed there but you haven't arrived when God is ready for it. It seems you still have some preparing for your wife which is a good thing, it's a time where you can learn things about each other you didn't know before.
I would like to ask a question, do you cater to you wife's emotions or desires when she changes her mind? If today she agrees with plural marriage do you agree with it and if she changes her mind tomorrow do you change along with her? I ask because I did this in the beginning and I realized that was our problem. As I would continue moving in the direction God had set for me out situation would stay fairly positive. However on the days that my first wife would change her mind, I would cater to her and allow it to influence my decisions and those were the times we would start having negative things happen around us. I learned that just because she has a "off day" or set-back it doesn't mean we both have to have one. It simply means I should give her emotions some attention but continue in the direction God had for me. The more I continued on His path the less set-backs she began to have because she realized that what she thought was going on really wasn't and she could trust in what I was doing for us. I'm not saying to ignore her or her concerns but make sure you don't give it power over Gods path for you.
P.S. Are you a Marine?
I would like to ask a question, do you cater to you wife's emotions or desires when she changes her mind? If today she agrees with plural marriage do you agree with it and if she changes her mind tomorrow do you change along with her? I ask because I did this in the beginning and I realized that was our problem. As I would continue moving in the direction God had set for me out situation would stay fairly positive. However on the days that my first wife would change her mind, I would cater to her and allow it to influence my decisions and those were the times we would start having negative things happen around us. I learned that just because she has a "off day" or set-back it doesn't mean we both have to have one. It simply means I should give her emotions some attention but continue in the direction God had for me. The more I continued on His path the less set-backs she began to have because she realized that what she thought was going on really wasn't and she could trust in what I was doing for us. I'm not saying to ignore her or her concerns but make sure you don't give it power over Gods path for you.
P.S. Are you a Marine?
Hi Rt29palms,
I think I feel with your wife because I'm in a similar situation. I can see that polygamy is scriptural, I can even clearly see the benefits of such a set up in our family and yet there are days when I feel like in the center of detrimental thoughts about the whole thing and that's when I start to doubt. But I'm not therefore telling my husband instead I try to pour out my heart to a sister in faith. I think that's what your wife should do also as it brings peace and ease to have another sister help straighten up my thoughts. I'm not saying that your wife should not talk to you about it at all but simply there are things which a sister in faith can cover in a more touching way because us sisters feel in a very similar way if not the same as we are part of the same gender..
It's awful to realize that the man who you believed to be all for yourself is suddenly to be shared. And yet this decision is not down to us ladies but I think it's fair to say that we are constantly under attack of such thoughts therefore it's very important to work on the attitude/ thoughts that occur in our female head.
I think I feel with your wife because I'm in a similar situation. I can see that polygamy is scriptural, I can even clearly see the benefits of such a set up in our family and yet there are days when I feel like in the center of detrimental thoughts about the whole thing and that's when I start to doubt. But I'm not therefore telling my husband instead I try to pour out my heart to a sister in faith. I think that's what your wife should do also as it brings peace and ease to have another sister help straighten up my thoughts. I'm not saying that your wife should not talk to you about it at all but simply there are things which a sister in faith can cover in a more touching way because us sisters feel in a very similar way if not the same as we are part of the same gender..
It's awful to realize that the man who you believed to be all for yourself is suddenly to be shared. And yet this decision is not down to us ladies but I think it's fair to say that we are constantly under attack of such thoughts therefore it's very important to work on the attitude/ thoughts that occur in our female head.