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Are you married, or are you committing adultery?

Anthony Clark

New Member
Male
I recently found this website: https://areyoumarried.wordpress.com/

The author presents the following premise:
  1. Sexual intercourse creates a one-flesh bond between that man and that women, and that bond is permanent until the death of one of those individuals. The only thing which terminates the one-flesh bond is death; not a writ of divorce or anything else for that matter.
  2. Therefore, sexual intercourse is 'marriage'.
  3. Marriage is not a vow, covenant, ceremony, or tradition of man. Therefore, when we use the word 'marriage' it should rightfully be referring to the state of being in a one-flesh union/bond with a woman whom we have had sex with... and not referring to a civil union (ie. wedding ceremony, state marriage license).
  4. If a man 'marries' a woman by asking her to marry him and then having a wedding ceremony, he is not 'married' to that woman in the eyes of God until he has sex with her and becomes one-flesh.
  5. If a man 'marries' (by having a wedding ceremony and then consummating) a woman who was not a virgin when he 'married' her, and any of her previous sexual partners are still alive, that man and that woman are committing adultery every time they have sex because that woman has a one-flesh bond (or bonds) with the living man (or men) whom she had sex with prior to the wedding.
  6. The Bible states in 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 → Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.
  7. We can be forgiven of our sins when we realise we are sinning and repent... and then we are to "sin no more".
Can anyone refute these premises?
 
I recently found this website: https://areyoumarried.wordpress.com/ The author presents the following premise:
  1. Sexual intercourse creates a one-flesh bond between that man and that women, and that bond is permanent until the death of one of those individuals. The only thing which terminates the one-flesh bond is death; not a writ of divorce or anything else for that matter.
  2. Therefore, sexual intercourse is 'marriage'.
  3. Marriage is not a vow, covenant, ceremony, or tradition of man. Therefore, when we use the word 'marriage' it should rightfully be referring to the state of being in a one-flesh union/bond with a woman whom we have had sex with... and not referring to a civil union (ie. wedding ceremony, state marriage license).
  4. If a man 'marries' a woman by asking her to marry him and then having a wedding ceremony, he is not 'married' to that woman in the eyes of God until he has sex with her and becomes one-flesh.
  5. If a man 'marries' (by having a wedding ceremony and then consummating) a woman who was not a virgin when he 'married' her, and any of her previous sexual partners are still alive, that man and that woman are committing adultery every time they have sex because that woman has a one-flesh bond (or bonds) with the living man (or men) whom she had sex with prior to the wedding.
  6. The Bible states in 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 → Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.
  7. We can be forgiven of our sins when we realise we are sinning and repent... and then we are to "sin no more".
Can anyone refute these premises?
 
9The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun.

It’s been discussed:
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I recently found this website: https://areyoumarried.wordpress.com/

The author presents the following premise:
  1. Sexual intercourse creates a one-flesh bond between that man and that women, and that bond is permanent until the death of one of those individuals. The only thing which terminates the one-flesh bond is death; not a writ of divorce or anything else for that matter.
  2. Therefore, sexual intercourse is 'marriage'.
  3. Marriage is not a vow, covenant, ceremony, or tradition of man. Therefore, when we use the word 'marriage' it should rightfully be referring to the state of being in a one-flesh union/bond with a woman whom we have had sex with... and not referring to a civil union (ie. wedding ceremony, state marriage license).
  4. If a man 'marries' a woman by asking her to marry him and then having a wedding ceremony, he is not 'married' to that woman in the eyes of God until he has sex with her and becomes one-flesh.
  5. If a man 'marries' (by having a wedding ceremony and then consummating) a woman who was not a virgin when he 'married' her, and any of her previous sexual partners are still alive, that man and that woman are committing adultery every time they have sex because that woman has a one-flesh bond (or bonds) with the living man (or men) whom she had sex with prior to the wedding.
  6. The Bible states in 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 → Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.
  7. We can be forgiven of our sins when we realise we are sinning and repent... and then we are to "sin no more".
Can anyone refute these premises?
I guess my question is this. What do you believe yourself?
It is very tiring to discuss what "other" people think because the original poster refuses to take a position of their own.

So, do YOU fully agree with the premise you laid out in 1-7 ? Because if so, then we can have a primary conversation instead of a proxy conversation...
 
I guess my question is this. What do you believe yourself?
It is very tiring to discuss what "other" people think because the original poster refuses to take a position of their own.

So, do YOU fully agree with the premise you laid out in 1-7 ? Because if so, then we can have a primary conversation instead of a proxy conversation...
Agreed. What are your thoughts? The author of the website has produced his thoughts. Do you have a solid position you are looking to defend or are you open to the back and forth of discourse?
 
I recently found this website: https://areyoumarried.wordpress.com/ The author presents the following premise:
  1. Sexual intercourse creates a one-flesh bond between that man and that women, and that bond is permanent until the death of one of those individuals. The only thing which terminates the one-flesh bond is death; not a writ of divorce or anything else for that matter.
  2. Therefore, sexual intercourse is 'marriage'.
  3. Marriage is not a vow, covenant, ceremony, or tradition of man. Therefore, when we use the word 'marriage' it should rightfully be referring to the state of being in a one-flesh union/bond with a woman whom we have had sex with... and not referring to a civil union (ie. wedding ceremony, state marriage license).
  4. If a man 'marries' a woman by asking her to marry him and then having a wedding ceremony, he is not 'married' to that woman in the eyes of God until he has sex with her and becomes one-flesh.
  5. If a man 'marries' (by having a wedding ceremony and then consummating) a woman who was not a virgin when he 'married' her, and any of her previous sexual partners are still alive, that man and that woman are committing adultery every time they have sex because that woman has a one-flesh bond (or bonds) with the living man (or men) whom she had sex with prior to the wedding.
  6. The Bible states in 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 → Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.
  7. We can be forgiven of our sins when we realise we are sinning and repent... and then we are to "sin no more".
Can anyone refute these premises?
So I agree with most of what you say here. Sex does equal one flesh. That’s pretty much indisputable although there’s a lot of people who will dispute it.

I have to take heavy exception to the idea that there is no valid remarriage after divorce. That simply flies directly in the faith of plain scripture.

Also, it seems like you’re implying that the only remedy for a non-virgin union is an immediate divorce and celibacy. That’s a pretty extreme idea and I think you would need to develop that some and walk us through the steps that got you to that conclusion.
 
...Also, it seems like you’re implying that the only remedy for a non-virgin union is an immediate divorce and celibacy. That’s a pretty extreme idea and I think you would need to develop that some and walk us through the steps that got you to that conclusion.
Only, for this reader, if it's not a rehash of the SameOleSameOle we've seen and debunked here a hundred times or so...

Because this is true:
That simply flies directly in the faith of plain scripture.
 
I recently found this website: https://areyoumarried.wordpress.com/

The author presents the following premise:
  1. Sexual intercourse creates a one-flesh bond between that man and that women, and that bond is permanent until the death of one of those individuals. The only thing which terminates the one-flesh bond is death; not a writ of divorce or anything else for that matter.
  2. Therefore, sexual intercourse is 'marriage'.
  3. Marriage is not a vow, covenant, ceremony, or tradition of man. Therefore, when we use the word 'marriage' it should rightfully be referring to the state of being in a one-flesh union/bond with a woman whom we have had sex with... and not referring to a civil union (ie. wedding ceremony, state marriage license).
  4. If a man 'marries' a woman by asking her to marry him and then having a wedding ceremony, he is not 'married' to that woman in the eyes of God until he has sex with her and becomes one-flesh.
  5. If a man 'marries' (by having a wedding ceremony and then consummating) a woman who was not a virgin when he 'married' her, and any of her previous sexual partners are still alive, that man and that woman are committing adultery every time they have sex because that woman has a one-flesh bond (or bonds) with the living man (or men) whom she had sex with prior to the wedding.
  6. The Bible states in 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 → Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.
  7. We can be forgiven of our sins when we realise we are sinning and repent... and then we are to "sin no more".
Can anyone refute these premises?
I can refute just about every one of them, and obviously 6 depends on all 5 of the above. Those premises have been vigorously debated many times on this forum. This is where I have to disagree with Martin Madan as well. Sex is not marriage, but defiling a virgin requires a man to pay the bride price and take her to be his wife, but only with her father's consent. Rejection on the part of the father means no marriage regardless of whether the man took her virginity.
 
The Bible states in 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 → Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.
A person doing those things listed can still be saved as long as they trust Lord Jesus to get them to that kingdom but if a believer wants to avoid be taken away before their time, he/she better stop doing those things. Apart from Jesus Christ our sins become our identity, with Christ Jesus His identity becomes ours aka His righteousness.

We can be forgiven of our sins when we realise we are sinning and repent... and then we are to "sin no more".
I am not saying that this what you are saying but just in case. But If you think that your eternal salvation is conditional on you not sinning anymore, I am sorry to tell you this but you will will fail. You better put complete trust in righteousness of Christ. Your salvation is conditional on you trusting Jesus Christ for Salvation.
 
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I am not saying that this what you are saying but just in case. But If you think that your eternal salvation is conditional on you not sinning anymore, I am sorry to tell you this but you will will fail. You better put complete trust in righteousness of Christ. Your salvation is conditional on you trusting Jesus Christ for Salvation.

Interesting.... Is it your opinion that we do not have an obligation to "go and sin no more" ?

Or are you saying that we are obligated to go and sin no more but if we do, it has no effect on our salvation?

Is there a requirement from God to go and sin no more but there is no punishment if we ignore than instruction?

Truly curious to understand.

Thanks!
 
Do a search for "Once Saved, Always Saved," in that Book. Oops...
Or try "blasphemy against the Ruach HaKodesh [even 'holy spirit']" and see what He says there.

Myself, I just ask, 'what could He have possibly meant by, "IF you love Me, keep My commandments"?
 
Interesting.... Is it your opinion that we do not have an obligation to "go and sin no more" ?
No, we are obligated to sin no more, but it has no bearing on eternal salvation, it has bearing only on rewards.
Or are you saying that we are obligated to go and sin no more but if we do, it has no effect on our salvation?
Correct. This is what I believe.

Yet at the same time I am under persuasion that Salvation can be lost but not because of what you do or do not do but based on what you believe in.

"You have been cut off from Christ, whoever of you are justified by law; you have fallen from grace." Galatians 5:4 seems to indicate that.
 
No, we are obligated to sin no more, but it has no bearing on eternal salvation, it has bearing only on rewards.

Correct. This is what I believe.

Yet at the same time I am under persuasion that Salvation can be lost but not because of what you do or do not do but based on what you believe in.

"You have been cut off from Christ, whoever of you are justified by law; you have fallen from grace." Galatians 5:4 seems to indicate that.
That is interesting. Thanks!

How is our belief determined?? Is that a sliding scale that only God can define or is there anything tangible that he will use to determine our belief?
What if I have doubts but continue in walking in his ways? How do I know if I believe or not?

Thanks!
 
Interesting.... Is it your opinion that we do not have an obligation to "go and sin no more" ?

Or are you saying that we are obligated to go and sin no more but if we do, it has no effect on our salvation?

Is there a requirement from God to go and sin no more but there is no punishment if we ignore than instruction?

Truly curious to understand.

Thanks!
I John 2:1 My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.
 
That is interesting. Thanks!

How is our belief determined?? Is that a sliding scale that only God can define or is there anything tangible that he will use to determine our belief?
What if I have doubts but continue in walking in his ways? How do I know if I believe or not?

Thanks!
Our beliefs form our world view. Our world view is what guides us. Phil 2:13 tells us "for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure." God works in us through His Holy Spirit that Jesus promised to send to us. The Holy Spirit gives us the desire to do what pleases God and the power to do so. Yet God knows that we are but dust. Psalms 103:8-16

8 He is merciful and tender toward those who don’t deserve it; he is slow to get angry and full of kindness and love. 9 ;He never bears a grudge, nor remains angry forever. 10 He has not punished us as we deserve for all our sins, 11 for his mercy toward those who fear and honor him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth. 12 He has removed our sins as far away from us as the east is from the west. 13 He is like a father to us, tender and sympathetic to those who reverence him. 14 For he knows we are but dust 15 and that our days are few and brief, like grass, like flowers, 16 blown by the wind and gone forever.
 
That is interesting. Thanks!

How is our belief determined?? Is that a sliding scale that only God can define or is there anything tangible that he will use to determine our belief?
What if I have doubts but continue in walking in his ways? How do I know if I believe or not?

Thanks!
It is my understanding that belief is determined worthy of reward of eternal life when we take God at His word. For Abraham it was enough to believe that he will have many descendants. For Naaman it was sufficient to acknowledge there is no other God except God of Israel, even though he continued to bowing down to false god as part of his obligation before pagan king (2 Kings 5:1-19). All will be responsible to respond with faith to whatever revelation God has made known. Some may be saved in heaven because they responded favorably to revelation that there is creator who created everything despite now knowing His name, but many may not, For what may be known about God is clear to them since God has shown it to them. ;The invisible things about Him—His eternal power and deity—have been clearly seen since the creation of the world and are understood by the things that are made, so that they are without excuse. But all who will be saved from Abraham, to a person in remote island never knowing the name of God as revealed in Scripture, to any believer in Christ today, will be there because Jesus Christ made it possible. And all who will end up being there will be there because they have responded with faith to revelation presented to them.
If there is a person who believes that they are not a sinner made God a liar, because God said that we are sinners, that person has not believed revelation of God. A person believing that it is not finished, when Christ has said it is finished is also making God a liar.

For if we willfully continue to sin (it is my contention that this is not referring just to any sin, but specifically to sin of disbelief, context necessitates this) after we have received the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, but a fearful expectation of judgment and fiery indignation, which will devour the adversaries. Anyone who despised Moses’ law died without mercy in the presence of two or three witnesses. How much more severe a punishment do you suppose he deserves, who has trampled under foot the Son of God, and has regarded the blood of the covenant that sanctified him to be a common thing, and has insulted the Spirit of grace? For we know Him who said, “Vengeance is Mine,” says the Lord, “I will repay. And again He says, “The Lord will judge His people.”It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.

Regarding doubting, it happens, John the Baptist doubted. Even though John the Baptist doubted, Christ still spoke about him, I say to you, among those who are born of women there is no greater prophet than John the Baptist. Yet he who is least in the kingdom of God is greater than he. We all should be willing to say to God, "“Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief!" (Mark 9:23-24) Belief is ongoing process, not a one time declaration, it is ongoing dependance on God. I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Jesus Christ.

I believe act of belief is each person's choice. And stopping to believe is a choice as well.

For this reason we are reminded:
Now the just shall live by faith;
but if anyone draws back,
My soul shall have no pleasure in him.
But we are not of those who draw back to destruction, but of those who have faith to the saving of the soul.


What if I have doubts but continue in walking in his ways?
I am not sure what you mean by walking in his ways. “This is the work of God, that you believe in Him whom He has sent.” (John 6:29). Which was an answer to the question, "What shall we do that we may work the works of God?” (v28).

To believe is the only thing that matters for salvation. why? And without faith it is impossible to please God, for he who comes to God must believe that He exists and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him

Regarding loving God to keep his commandments, to believe is the most important directive for salvation. I am open to possibility that a person can be mad at God and still believe and be counted among righteous. (2 Samuel 6:8).
 
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How did we get here from the original post?
 
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