Does God Call BOTH Husband & Wife to PM?

[CecilW]

Late night / early morning musings OR I think my head just might explode...

I will propose that the answer is "Yes, He always does." I mean, IF He is calling or drawing one to the topic, He is ATTEMPTING to draw the other as well. Either may, of course, resist.

A partner may, for example, clearly state, "I refuse to study the Bible on the topic WITH you. You might convince me. And I am NOT WILLING to be convinced." That last statement is the most revealing, because if you are studying the Word together, wouldn't it be the Word that does the convincing? (Real life scenario for one or more members of this board.)

I'm in no way implying that if the other partner refuses, the marriage should be over. But it is a bit more complicated than that. And troubling.

Jesus is the Prince of Peace, yeah? And He's FOR families, right? But He SAID things like, "I have not come to bring peace, but a sword; and a man's enemies shall be they of His own household." And, "Whoever leaves father, mother, brother, sister, wife, & kids for my sake and the gospel's shall receive ..."

But note what is NOT included in that statement. There's not "... husband ...". Apparently, God never calls a woman to leave her husband. Paul clarifies the situation by saying that if the husband will dwell peaceably with the believing wife, she should stay, but if he kicks her out, she's free to go.

So apparently there IS a gender difference. God's calling may require a man to leave when his wife opposes his obedience, but does not call a woman to leave, although if her husband kicks her out she is indeed freed.

Now, let's complicate it further. What if the resisting partner pulls out the "You committed to monogamy when we married, and I'm holding you to it" card?"

If you are a woman, well, *shrug*. You CAN'T have a Biblical PM without the involvement of you husband, right? And I don't think I've heard husbands trying to use this argument to keep their wives in line.

But wives use it on husbands all the time. And I have to ask, What is the difference between God saying, "Come! Follow Me!" in this area or any other? Where you work, how you bring up the kids, if you work in a business or enter full-time ministry, change denominations due to expanding understanding of God, etc.? (NOTE: There IS controversy about this on this board, with some members holding to the position that the man IS bound unless specifically released by his wife. Others hold that she does not have veto power over God's working in his life.)

In each case, God is drawing one way, family the other. To follow God MAY mean that you leave and incur the wrath & enmity of your family. To stay, that you place that relationship above your relationship with Him -- idolatry.

Some of us have TRIED to stay, but move forward in God's calling, only to have our families leave or kick us out.

Heart breaking when it happens, undoubtedly. But I propose this one small comfort: God DID call you both. One resisted, one responded. And the responder has an absolute right to intercede for God to keep calling, while pleading Jesus' blood and acting towards the resistor with ever increasingly Christ-like Love.

 

[NetWatchR]

On first read, Cecil, I agree. However, I'd like some clarification on this:

Paul clarifies the situation by saying that if the husband will dwell peaceably with the believing wife, she should stay, but if he kicks her out, she's free to go.

Where was this written? It sounds a lot like another verse but reversed. "If the unbeliever (husband or wife) leaves, let them leave in peace" If you could straighten this out for me, I think I'd better understand/agree with what you're saying.

 

[steve]

Late night / early morning musings OR I think my head just might explode...

I will propose that the answer is "Yes, He always does." I mean, IF He is calling or drawing one to the topic, He is ATTEMPTING to draw the other as well. Either may, of course, resist.

Let us start by defining your question. This is one doctrine that we are NOT expected to practice just because we have accepted its validity.
Are we all called to believe that PM is endorsed and blessed by YHWH in many situations? Absolutely!
Are we all called to practice PM? NO, NO, a thousand times, NO!
This is where the train leaves the tracks for so many. They feel that once they have accepted this doctrine they are expected to walk in it. They feel "called" to it.

Let's say that YHWH does call your family to this lifestyle.
Where do you get that there is a timeline involved that you must adhere to? If it takes you 2.5 seconds to get it and it takes your mate 22.5 years, so what? By what right do you pressure them? By what right do you justify leaving them?

Idolatry? If your relationship with YHWH is so wrapped up in PM that it could divide your household, then I would submit that your idolatry is toward PM.

 

[Courting4Life]

Let's say that YHWH does call your family to this lifestyle.
Where do you get that there is a timeline involved that you must adhere to? If it takes you 2.5 seconds to get it and it takes your mate 22.5 years, so what? By what right do you pressure them? By what right do you justify leaving them?

Idolatry? If your relationship with YHWH is so wrapped up in PM that it could divide your household, then I would submit that your idolatry is toward PM.

Amen!

 

[pebble]

Hello sirs, just like to add my 0.0002 cents here since I've been asking this of God too and of polygyny.

If poly is part of God's truth then why make matters so difficult for the believers? And if a husband and wife are one flesh, why create a situation where conflict arise between them? It is already hard enough fighting satan and his world without husband and wife fighting each other over God's whole truth.

I instead learned and accepted new things (probably His answers) not related to my questions.

1. Free Will. God always gives us a choice, obey or disobey.
2. We can not save another person. We can only offer a glimpse of the light we have seen ourselves. Salvation is always between God and that person.
3. All of us are called, like what Cecil stated, but not all of us listen.
4. He is preparing us for the tough time ahead, so we may not fall like immature fruits of the fig tree when it is shaken.
5. Practice. We will be messengers, what better way to practice than pray and enlighten our loved ones?
6. Patience. God's timing is different from ours. In time, His will be done and His plan will be accomplished.
7. He doesn't really need us to make things happen but we can offer ourselves in His service.