Does she call you lord?

[NeoPatriarch]

Does she call you lord?

Brothers and Patriarchs,

When I was a manager at Chick-fil-A we taught team members to speak in a "service language". You may have noticed the phrases "My pleasure." and "How may I serve you?" when you ordered your chicken nuggets and waffle fries. Perhaps it impacted you when you ate there.

How we speak to people has a direct impact on our attitude toward them. This shouldn't be a surprise to Christians.

Jas 3:2a-4 ... And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs.

Perhaps, that is why Peter encourages wives to submit to their husband and call him lord, by citing the example of Sarah. Calling Abraham lord was certainly part of the way she submitted to him.

1Pe 3:5b-6 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord.

So how does your wife address you? Dear Husband? Idiot? Hey you? How does it impact how she is able to submit to you? How does what she calls you impact your own behavior?

(Sisters,
What do you call your husband? Why?
Would you call him lord? Why or why not?
How does what you call your husband impact your attitude toward him?)

 

[CecilW]

Haven't had much experience in being called "lord" in either marriage, and some of what I did have was done in sarcasm. But, ...

There was a while when one of my wives wore a head covering (in the style that she grew up with), and fairly frequently referred to me as "my lord."

It was a very thought provoking experience for me. The effect was to drive me to live worthy of the trust and responsibility that was being placed in me.

At other times, I've experienced total DISrespect in a marriage relationship and found it tended to cause me to withdraw, to disengage, and sometimes to want to look elsewhere instead.

All in all, I suspect that giving the respect to her husband that the Bible recommends or commands, such as wearing a covering (at least at times), and calling one's husband "my lord" in sincerity, might well be a powerful tool for cultivating a woman's own happiness by means of building up and strengthening her "head" in good ways.

 

[Joleneakamama]

(Sisters,
What do you call your husband? Why?
Would you call him lord? Why or why not?
How does what you call your husband impact your attitude toward him?)

Well Neo, I call my husband by his name, various terms of endearment, and for over ten years have frequently, and especially talking with certain family members, friends and neighbors called him "the boss." This has caught on to the point that some neighbors and friends when they ring our phone will ask to speak to "the boss," and even his old gf who worked with him/us for a few summers addressed him that way.

I don't call him lord because he doesn't want me to. He feels boss is the equivalent of lord, and it doesn't conjure up images of master slave interactions that people might not understand or could find repulsive. Basically there is less explaining this way.
My calling him boss or the boss was not something he wanted or asked for, it was just something I did....and honestly it was so long ago I couldn't tell you why or how that started. Senility creeping in on me I guess. LOL

The things I call him reflect my attitude toward him, I don't really see them influencing it.

At other times, I've experienced total DISrespect in a marriage relationship and found it tended to cause me to withdraw, to disengage, and sometimes to want to look elsewhere instead.

As a polywannabe first wife, this sounds like one way to get the guy looking. lol I am totally joking here, as I never would or could sacrifice the wonderful relationship we have in some attempt to manipulate him into anything.
Honestly, my dear hubby is open to the poly possibility, but it is too unlikely for either of us to afford much time 'searching' for something that may never be.

A scripture close to my heart these days is the one that says "Unless the lord build the house, they that built it labor in vain" Neither of us would want to make something happen that was not in His will. So even though another adult in the family would be a wonderful and much loved blessing (of this I am certain) we will be content with Him growing our family with babies unless He sees fit to do otherwise.

 

[FollowingHim]

I don't think Neo's point is that a wife must use the actual word "Lord" for her husband - remember that is just an English translation for the Greek "kurios", which will be a translation of whatever Hebrew word Sarah actually used. It means master, and "the boss" is probably a very good translation into modern English actually. I bet you never realised how deeply spiritual you were being Jolene!

My wife calls me by my name. She respects me as the boss, very well, just does not use that terminology. I am completely happy with this, because actions are what really matter, the point of the words is to encourage the heart to perform the correct actions. The Bible never says a wife MUST call her husband "lord", but it does present Sarah's use of the term "lord" as an example of her obedience to her husband.

I do think however that if any woman was struggling with accepting her husband as the true head of the family, it could well be helpful for her to try referring to him as "the boss", "lord", or a similar term, as a reminder to herself to follow his decisions. This may be a tool that some women could find valuable.

 

[steve]

while ali calls me "lord" at times, she usually follows it up with the words "small L".
seems that she does not want me to get myself confused with her Lord.
i keep telling her that a title is capitalised (it's not working)

actually, both ali and deborah do a pretty good job of deferring to me as the leader, and as samuel points out, that is the whole point. and yes, that does empower me to be a better leader.