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Dominant and submissive relationships

Tina Galloway

Tina Galloway

Member
Real Person
Female
Well is really what's on my
I am a sub and fell IV been one all my life some gd some bad.
Dominant and submissive relationships
Interested me allot

Well hi my sub
My sub name is Bonnie rose ......
What is your submissive name or Dom name if you have one I know I'm in trubble when hubby calls me that in a tone lol .
But I am interested to find out how many have this D/s in this community I guess IV just come out to you all.....


 
I think you'll find that most people here look at the same issue from a different angle. The scriptural way to look at this is:
  • All husbands should be dominant, the leader, the head of their wife, in all areas of life.
  • All wives should be submissive, in all areas of life.
This includes the bedroom, however that is just a tiny part of life, it mainly relates to the rest of life. Some will act this out more in the bedroom, others less, but you wouldn't really know because people tend not to talk about what goes on there.

The BDSM movement comes from people naturally recognising the God-given desire of women to be submissive and men to be dominant. Then, making this primarily sexual. Then, distorting it (such as reversing the roles), and taking it to extremes, making it "kinky" to try and get it more interesting. However, in my personal view, all these things are done because people are genuinely seeking to find what God made them to be, and the role in life that God created them to be happy in. But when they seek this without the guidance of scripture, they try all sorts of different things in their journey to get there. And as long as they're still trying new things, they haven't yet found what they're truly looking for.

Because they're mainly practicing leadership / submission in the bedroom, or in similar settings, it's not filling their entire lives. Being just a part of life, it's unfulfilling - hence why they experiment with more and more extreme things, because they're still unfulfilled.

So most men here would call themselves dominant in their marriage, and most women would call themselves submissive. However,when they use those terms, they may mean something completely different to what they mean to someone with a BDSM mindset.

They wouldn't have different names for themselves when they are being dominant or submissive. Because this is not a persona they put on, they are not roleplaying for just part of their life. They are trying to truly be the person God has designed them to be in all areas of life. I am not a boring Samuel by day but transform into role-playing dominant Samson in the evening - I am always Samuel, and am always the leader of my wife and family. I have no need to take that to an extreme caricature at any point because it's just naturally who I am all the time.

What I find fascinating about BDSM is the fact that it demonstrates that everyone, at some deep level, recognises that there is a natural God-given order in life and tries to seek it out, to find their true role where they will be happy and fulfilled.
 
There is as much diversity in the BDSM community as there is in Christianity. For many, it is a recreation, or a role play; but there are those who make it their entire life, who take it more seriously.

For those into D/s or M/s on a full time basis, it can be little different than traditional Christian submission; and in far too many cases more true to scripture than what the church practices. They just view it through a sexual lens rather than a religious one. But then our society today speaks in sexual tones instead of religious ones; so that is no great surprise.

It is an interesting commentary on our society that the same behavior done for sexual reasons is seen as good but for religious ones is seen as bad.

Unfortunately too many Christians are caught up in niceness and equality and self-righteousness so they cannot see the common ground they could share here.

Welcome Tina!
 
Really great breakdown, @FollowingHim .
Without commenting on what happens in my private chambers, I can say the idea of 'playing master' is less attractive, because in fact I am the master when not at play as well. And I mean no offense because I truly have no opinion about what other people like to do. But for myself It's like how playing house and pretending to go to work is just something I don't even do anymore, because I go to work everyday and slog it out and that's just who I am now.
 
I’m a Dom outside the bedroom and require being referred to as The King.

But inside the bedroom I am way totally a Sub.
I get to wear a bib and enjoy a good feeding with mommy during intimacy time. (This is the real reason I always keep her pregnant guys.):rolleyes:
Oh , and my Sub name is Baby Booper. :D
 
I’m a dominant and in addition to my real name she calls me Sir or Master... but it’s all the time not just in the bedroom. Samuel explained it well... it’s just life for us not something we “play”
 
Given that every single one of these posts could be taken seriously by someone who is into bdsm, because none are unrealistic, I better clarify:

@rustywest4 and @Asforme&myhouse are joking. Everyone else so far is serious.

I think it would be helpful if people stuck to serious statements here, because if you say 'I like to pretend to do X', thinking X is so weird it's obviously a joke, you'll probably find that there are people who actually do X. A reader with a BDSM background will struggle to understand if you're a person with a fascinating fetish, or if you're joking, and if so if you're trying to say something they'd find funny or are ridiculing them. So let's just be serious please.
 
Pacman said:
I’m a dominant and in addition to my real name she calls me Sir or Master... but it’s all the time not just in the bedroom. Samuel explained it well... it’s just life for us not something we “play”
Click to expand...

Kudos for being the first to actually answer Tina's question.
 
Once the crowns are placed on the dresser, it’s all just fun and games.
 
rockfox said:
Kudos for being the first to actually answer Tina's question.
Click to expand...

Yeah I personally wouldn’t label myself D/s as is typically understood by the bdsm community. We just follow the biblical gender roles which also come naturally to us... and for the record the term “master” is used just when goofing off or flirting. But Sir is common in most circumstances...
 
rockfox said:
Kudos for being the first to actually answer Tina's question.
Click to expand...
Yes thank you for a true full answer
As IV had a back ground in Bdsm and I am wounding how to put this into our lives as a on the fence christian ?
Yes I was a full blowen vanilla .
I guess when I left X after 22y I did exprement .
But know I feel God's calling me bk in a way better life and it's just going to take me time to work that one out.
And can it work in a godly way so thank you for all the answers that every one has posted .
 
So I thought it would be interesting to see if there was a concept in the BDSM community that comes close to what our marriage (modeled after biblical roles) looks like. From what I'm finding it looks like it's called Taken In Hand. Which looks to be a male led relationship both in and out of the bedroom. Although not quite exactly because I guess monogamy is a key part of TiH.
 
Tina Galloway said:
As IV had a back ground in Bdsm and I am wounding how to put this into our lives as a on the fence christian ?
...
And can it work in a godly way so thank you for all the answers that every one has posted .
Click to expand...
As I said above, there are enormous similarities between the principles behind BDSM and Biblical marriage, because God created our desires and this movement has been built as people rediscover these principles for themselves. There are distortions, but that doesn't change the fundamental similarities. To describe a Christian marriage in BDSM terms:
  • Your husband is your Dom / Master.
  • Your decision to marry was you agreeing to your Contract (similar to a M/s contract). However, the terms were not written by you, and cannot be renegotiated. The terms were written by God - in the Bible. So the Bible contains your Contract. Read it to find out what the terms are, and follow them as you discover them.
  • The single most important clause in the Contract is that you are fully submitted to your Dom, and cannot go to another Dom. To be sexual with another man is completely forbidden (the Bible labels this "adultery"). Because it's so serious, in order to prevent this, to submit to another in any way or desire to be sexual with another is also forbidden. You are to be 100% devoted to one Dom / Master in every aspect of your life.
  • Whether the sexual relationship between you and your husband / Dom is "vanilla" or "kinky" is up to you. There are almost no rules. Have fun!
  • Whether your Dom has just you, or takes another as well, is up to him.
See how similar it is? So it can certainly work in a Godly way.

Keep doing whatever you're enjoying with your husband. It's probably fine. God designed you to enjoy it. And if there's anything you're doing that He wouldn't want you to do, He can show you this through the Bible or otherwise. Don't worry about this.

It's far more important for you to be considering why you describe yourself as an "on the fence" Christian, and thinking about what it would mean to be fully, 100% devoted to serving God.

Because although your husband is your Master, God is his Master. So God is your Master's Master. To put it in business terms, your husband is the branch manager, but God is the business owner. If you should be devoted to your husband, should you not be even more devoted to God? If you hear your husband's instructions and follow them in your life, is it not even more important to find out God's instructions and work out how He would have you both live?

You know how to submit to a man. You need to learn how to submit to God.
 
Wow, Samuel. Love that... Fascinating to see the similarities. Adds weight that the enemy only twists and mimicks.
 
Mage said:
So I thought it would be interesting to see if there was a concept in the BDSM community that comes close to what our marriage (modeled after biblical roles) looks like. From what I'm finding it looks like it's called Taken In Hand. Which looks to be a male led relationship both in and out of the bedroom. Although not quite exactly because I guess monogamy is a key part of TiH.
Click to expand...

There are other communities that practice master/slave relationships that are very close to Biblical marriage; some even embracing poly. But it is very disperse, varies by master, most who speak of M/S are more into scenes or stereotypical slavey things.

Tina Galloway said:
As IV had a back ground in Bdsm and I am wounding how to put this into our lives as a on the fence christian ?
Click to expand...

See 1 Peter 3:

1Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 2While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. 3Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; 4But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. 5For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: 6Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
7Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
Click to expand...

That great example of faith for women in Sarah was because she called Abraham lord and likewise obeyed him. That word lord is translated "lord, master, sir; the Lord." and is a term used for husbands, masters/owners, chiefs, princes, kings, gods, and our God.

Greek definition:

having power or authority, he to whom a person or thing belongs, about which he has the power of deciding; master, lord; used a. universally, of the possessor and disposer of a thing, the owner; one who has control of the person, the master
Click to expand...

Very BDSMie.
 
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Mage said:
So I thought it would be interesting to see if there was a concept in the BDSM community that comes close to what our marriage (modeled after biblical roles) looks like. From what I'm finding it looks like it's called Taken In Hand. Which looks to be a male led relationship both in and out of the bedroom. Although not quite exactly because I guess monogamy is a key part of TiH.
Click to expand...
Yes that would be interesting to find out .
FollowingHim said:
As I said above, there are enormous similarities between the principles behind BDSM and Biblical marriage, because God created our desires and this movement has been built as people rediscover these principles for themselves. There are distortions, but that doesn't change the fundamental similarities. To describe a Christian marriage in BDSM terms:
  • Your husband is your Dom / Master.
  • Your decision to marry was you agreeing to your Contract (similar to a M/s contract). However, the terms were not written by you, and cannot be renegotiated. The terms were written by God - in the Bible. So the Bible contains your Contract. Read it to find out what the terms are, and follow them as you discover them.
  • The single most important clause in the Contract is that you are fully submitted to your Dom, and cannot go to another Dom. To be sexual with another man is completely forbidden (the Bible labels this "adultery"). Because it's so serious, in order to prevent this, to submit to another in any way or desire to be sexual with another is also forbidden. You are to be 100% devoted to one Dom / Master in every aspect of your life.
  • Whether the sexual relationship between you and your husband / Dom is "vanilla" or "kinky" is up to you. There are almost no rules. Have fun!
  • Whether your Dom has just you, or takes another as well, is up to him.
See how similar it is? So it can certainly work in a Godly way.

Keep doing whatever you're enjoying with your husband. It's probably fine. God designed you to enjoy it. And if there's anything you're doing that He wouldn't want you to do, He can show you this through the Bible or otherwise. Don't worry about this.

It's far more important for you to be considering why you describe yourself as an "on the fence" Christian, and thinking about what it would mean to be fully, 100% devoted to serving God.

Because although your husband is your Master, God is his Master. So God is your Master's Master. To put it in business terms, your husband is the branch manager, but God is the business owner. If you should be devoted to your husband, should you not be even more devoted to God? If you hear your husband's instructions and follow them in your life, is it not even more important to find out God's instructions and work out how He would have you both live?

You know how to submit to a man. You need to learn how to submit to God.
Click to expand...

You are so wise and full of knowledge yes I will start putting god first and pray for hubby to re connect with God so we can have a godly relationship be gd to have some mentors in our lives that are in this group to guide us .
 
Tina Galloway said:
Yes that would be interesting to find out .


You are so wise and full of knowledge yes I will start putting god first and pray for hubby to re connect with God so we can have a godly relationship be gd to have some mentors in our lives that are in this group to guide us .
Click to expand...
Is he on the forum already?
 
Tina Galloway said:
be gd to have some mentors in our lives that are in this group to guide us
Click to expand...
All of us would be glad to get to know you and your husband better and help out in any way we can. But particularly make sure you both get to know @frederick, as I expect you'll be able to meet with him in person more easily than with anybody else, and it just so happens that he'd be one of the best men you could possibly have to mentor and guide you.
 
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