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Feeling condemned by God

I

inChrist

New Member
Hi there,

My situation is that my husbands 1st wife left him for no reason, and he married me, I believe that he has two wives in the Lords eyes, according to the scriptures. I am having huge problems with feeling the Lord is against us, and wants me to leave him. I have a son with him and a daughter on the way. It is incredibly depressing for me, and I am unable to function sometimes because of it. I have to know that I am in God's will as his second wife, and am equally important. It seems clear to me from scripture a man may have two wives, and because he did not put her away, then he is not guilty of adultery. But it seems that all my questions come from the fact that our laws do not allow him to have two wives, and so I am a replacement and therefore he is committing adultery. He wont say out and out he would take her back if she repented, just that there would have to be alot of discussion if she ever did want to come back. Meanwhile I feel I cant go forward in God's will, I think I am fighting God alot of the time, trying to maintain that he can have two wives. Does anyone else here go through this, am I wrong in our relationship, it just doesnt seem to go away, no matter how many times I pray about it.!

In Christ
 
Thank you for being so open about your struggle, sister inChrist!

I'm sincerely sorry for the struggle you are experiencing. Rest assured it isn't GOD you are struggling against!

May I share what I found in His word while enduring a similar situation? (Ummmm, I wasn't a second wife, true. Plumbed Aaaaaalllll wrong for dat! But felt under similar heavy constant condemnation in other areas of life.) Not waiting for an answer, since I really, really HATE it when Satan gets away with hassling my friends ...

We all know John 3:16, right? "God so loved the world that He sent His only begotten Son ..." Unfortunately, we stop too soon, forgetting that 3:17 says, "For God DID NOT send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved."

So lay THAT fear to rest. It is NOT God coming against you and trying desperately to break up your perfectly legitimate (in the only set of Eyes that matter!) marriage and family.

But then who is it? Thank God, He done gave us an answer to that one, too. It's in Rev 12:10 & 11. It's talking about the great dragon, Satan, ... "the accuser of our brethren, who accused them before our God day and night".

Ain't God givin' ya grief. It's the devil. And the next verse says we overcome him by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony.

So you been prayin'? That's always good! But feel free to add the word of your testimony as well. "Devil, you're a defeated foe. L-O-S-E-R! You ain't got nothin' left but complaints. Git on up outa here. WE AIN'T BUYIN'! This is MY family, screwed up and fractured as it may be, and you ain't got no part of it. Now GIT!"

Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Jam 4:7. It don't say NUTTIN' about being POLITE about it! When you're polite to the devil, he thinks you don't really MEAN it! Make sure he knows you do! Then quit worrying about it! God is FOR y'all! That's the ONE thing that's sure! And the one thing that matters.
 
The Apostle Paul made an interesting statement:

1 Corinthians 10:23 "All things are lawful," but not all things are helpful. "All things are lawful," but not all things build up.

You are a godly part of a family just as you should be; you are playing the role of a wife, and very admirably in my estimation based on what I have read in your post. Standing by your husband strengthens your family, it is not wrong to do so. Yes there are the "laws of men", but we need to consider the intent and purpose of these laws. What was the motivation for establishing these laws? Was it for the protection of the individual or the state? In the case of the bigamy and anti-polygamy laws the answer is no. These laws were enacted for one purpose; to promote a majority religious opinion and oppress a minority religion. You will see these laws overturned rather soon.

Jesus when speaking of Satan and his desires had this to say:

John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.

Your belief and faith in Jesus will keep Satan from accomplishing his will and grant you and your family an abundant life.

Stay strong and committed to your husband.
 
My suggestions for you are:

Every time you begin to feel that you are condemned by God, try to remember

Rom 8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

Joh 5:24 Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life.

The enemy is the one who brings us condemnation. You cannot believe the lies of satan. He will use enough of the truth to make you feel like you are the worst of sinners, but HE IS A LIAR!

But I will remind you to begin to prepare yourself for the possibility that the former wife could repent and ask to come back. The fact that you accept that she is still scripturally married to him is a huge first step. Begin to prepare your heart so that if the unfathomable happens, you are not caught unaware. By preparing yourself for the possibility you will be taking Godly steps to forgiveness, acceptance and adoption in advance. This will bring about huge maturity on your part and you will be prepared for whatever comes.

Sister, you are not the problem here. You must understand that the problem is not with you but between them. Even if she came back tomorrow, they would still have the issues that led to the original divorce.

SweetLissa
 
Wow, I’ve been through the same scenario. Years ago I covenanted with my first wife K, she later left me for no reason. She walked away, I never divorced her, my heart remained open to forgiveness and still does. Then I married D. We’ve dealt with similar feelings. Then God revealed to us Biblical polygyny and we felt as though a weight lifted in this area. The way I see it today and the way I believe God sees it, I do have two wives, one is here and the other is not. D and myself have prayed for K many times and we have contacted her but with little success. If K would ever return she would have to accept the way things are now, even if I have another wife or two. So I can say we know what this is like and I can assure you God is not telling you to leave your husband. Perhaps God’s intention for revealing polygyny to you is to help you understand that, yes your husband does have two wives and that is OK, his first wife is living in sin not you. Keep looking to Jesus.
 
Dear InChrist,
I want to add my agreement to what has been said above. My heart goes out to you for your sincere, genuine concern, but again, God is not condemning you. May I add one other thought? Don't bear this burden alone. Yes, go to Christ, but equally important, take this burden to your husband. Let him function as your head and umbrella, shield and buckler in this conflict. He is God's ambassador for this task. Trust him to love you as Christ loves you.
Blessings.
 
Thank you so much for replying. All the advise has been helpful, see I cant talk to other Christians about this, except for through here really... My husband knows I struggle with this, it comes up about once a month or something. He is supportive, and believes the same as I do as to him having two wives. He just doesnt know what to do for me, I think he just prays. I would be willing and pray for her already that she would repent of her rebellion. I dont know how it would work, but I want the Lords will, and he could work out the details if she would want to come back. Its nice to talk to some people who know what I am talking about, sometimes that is beneficial in itself. Something that was really encouraging about your replies is the scriptures on condemnation. Expecially the one in revelation which says he accuses us before the throne of God.

Ephraim, your photo icon is sooo funny, I was trying to read a post when I saw that picture and couldnt stop laughing.

God bless!

Alicia
 
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