We talk a lot about the moral issues surrounding polygyny, but rarely about the practicalities. I would like to discuss finances.
Excellent topic and questions.
Before taking on additional wives do you believe it is a must to have financial affairs in order first?
Ideally yes, but people rarely live up to ideals. Like others said, it is no different than monogamous marriage and many or even most people do not have their affairs in order. Secondly how much is enough? Even if you are out of debt and have a large retirement set aside, is it enough? There is no absolute answer. It is all just a spectrum between good and bad and if you are doing better than the next guy then you are doing good.
I would like to discuss debt, income, health insurance and life insurance. We can all agree a non-legal wife will not have the same protections as a legal wife and certain preparations should be made.
It should be noted that the legal wife need not remain the legal wife. There may be good financial reasons to switch the legal wife. For example, I have pretty much maxed out my social security for years. If I were to marry another woman and we swtiched the legal wife, she would only have to be married to me for 10 years and then she would also be eligible for max social security benefits, without diminishing what my first wfe is eligible for at all. That is a pretty nice benefit that could be worth a lot of money. It is kind of a loophole in the law.
Another reason may be that I am elgible for corporate health insurance. It seems to me that a good strategy might be to get quotes for both wives for health insurance and then sign up the more expensive one and pay the cheaper one out of pocket.
1. Do you believe you should not take a second wife if you currently have debt? I am assuming this is situational dependent.
Few Americans are out of debt completely, if only for a house. In all cases and scenarios it would be good to be out of debt, but I would not think it would be a show stopper, unless you can not afford your debt service.
2. Do you believe it necessary to have a life insurance plan in which the new wife is a beneficiary? If you cannot afford this, will you still seek another wife?
Lots of people do not have life insurance. Personally I think that if you have a family it is a mistake not to have any and you should get some if you can at all afford it. My second wife would have it, especially if she has children.
3. Do you believe it necessary to have a plan for health insurance for each wife and possible children? If you don't have the income to provide this, will you still seek additional wives?
My corporate family plan allows for unlimited children. I have even had nieces and nephews on it when they were living with me. So coverage for children would be no problem. See comment above about health insurance for wife. Also, it should be noted that there are alternatives to traditional insurance. For example there is Medi-share and other Christian Healthcare sharing ministries, etc. You should be able to find something that meets your needs.
4. Do you think it's an ethical problem to seek mor wives than you have bedrooms to provide?
No it is not an ethics problem, but it is a logistics problem. It might be an ethics problem if you promised her her own room and then did not deliver it. Who knows? You might get lucky a find a woman that does not mind sharing a room. There is nothing in the Bible about individual rooms.
On the other hand, if you can provide more bedrooms I do think that is a plus. When I bought my latest house I got as many bedrooms and bathrooms as I could afford (6 and 5), including dual masters. I had polygamy in mind when I bought it. I also had 5 kids living at home at the time. For a while I had the in-laws living with us before they passed. Now I just have two kids living at home and perhaps for not much longer so it is starting to feel a little lonely.
5. Do you take the stance that you should wait until one is financially able to provide the above before even thinking about seeking additional wives or are you of the belief that seeking additional wives is a leap of faith and God will provide afterwards and one should not avoid the lifestyle simply for financial reasons?
I think it is an excellent idea to think about this in advance and to prepare yourself in advance to be blessed by God. Think about it. The exact same blessing recieved when you are not prepared for it can quickly turn into a curse. Think about all of the people that win the lottery and how it often ruins their lives. They were not ready for it.
On the other hand, the right woman is such a wonderful blessing and such a rarity that if do find her you simply can not pass her up. In my experience the right woman is just not that common.
6. For those who are currently seeking, without divulging sensitive information, did you do an analysis of finances to determine what you can afford and not afford before seeking this life?
No, as you can see from above answers, I have thought about it, but I do not need to do a financial analysis. As long as you can pay the bills you can adjust your lifestyle to fit your means.
7. What have you found to work? What have I not mentioned that you found financially necessary?
I hope I get a chance to find out someday.
8. If you are currently relying on government assistance or government healthcare, is wrong to seek additional wives?
I do not think I would be looking to add if I were on government assistance. On the other hand if God presented the right person to me and she knew I was on assistance and still wanted to join my family I would not turn her away.
I was briefly on assistance at the tech downturn right after the year 2000. I was able to pick up some odd jobs so I earned enough not to get unemployment, but my wife was pregnant and I no longer had insurance and so she got WIC and free health care. Fortunately I got a new job prior to her having the baby. I do not begrudge anyone that has it that truly needs it.
9. Do believe it necessary to have emergency fund established before seeking additional wives?
Dave Ramsey says an emergency fund should be $1000? Like being out of debt I do not think anyone would argue that this would not be a good and useful thing to have.
But again, I would not make it a line in the sand where I would send a wonderful woman packing just because I only have $800 in the account.
I know some of you are seeking more than just one additional wife.
One at a time! It kind of boggles my mind that there might even be one additional wife for me in the future. More than one seems far fetched, unless I was the type of polygamist that just finds someone out on the street and moves her in. They always seemed like wannabee polygamists to me and I have never seen that work into real long term polygamy family.
Knowing what it takes financially to support just one wife and three children, it almost seems impossible to provide for three or more wives unless you make the income of a surgeon.
I think it all depends on what phase of life you are in, too. I am in my 50s now and have been working many years in the high tech field. I just do not have to hunt around for nickles and dimes like I did when I was in my 20s and 30s. I think I could comfortably afford three wives. Maybe the kids go to community college. Maybe we drive used cars. But I think everyone could be comfortable, taken care of, and loved.
Seeing how the average family does not make that, how do you provide for such a large family? Or do you not see certain things as financially important, such as health insurance etc? Do you expect your wives to work? I am curious what plans those of you have to make that dream a reality? Do you have an investment plan etc?
I do expect my wives to work, just not at income producing jobs. I have been long blessed with a stay at home Mom and we have been able to home school our children. I realize not all families get to do this, but it is highly recommended. I am very old fashioned and I am opposed to women in the work force. I got out of the Navy when they started putting women on ships. I do not work with very many women in the IT field (although I am always respectful to them when I do), and now I work almost 100% of the time from home. I like my women to be free to make the best home possible and free to do charity work and to help others in need without the burden of having to earn a living or contribute to the family financially.
Having said the above, I am not a tyrant, and would not rule out a career woman who really loved her job and wanted to continue in it, although when i see a woman like that "who has it all" I tend to think "what does she need me for?"
I do have an investment plan. And if oil futures, bitcoin and pork bellies go back up I will be all set.
Good questions. Fun topic.