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gluttony2

ChapmansOfNH

ChapmansOfNH

New Member
Hi ladies,
I have read with interest the other thread on gluttony. I read it from the perspective of someone who has almost always struggled with weight and gluttony. I am not good with moderation you might say! I could do well with some accountability as my weight has recently seen an upswing. If there is anyone in the same boat as me and would like some support, some honesty, perhaps even weekly weigh ins, let me know. Maybe a bit of "competition" would help get us motivated!! I read Scarecrow's comment on the other thread and found it amusing (and it hit home)........I don't want to be the fat a** caboose
AnneMarie
 
ChapmansOfNH said:
I read Scarecrow's comment on the other thread and found it amusing (and it hit home)........I don't want to be the fat a** caboose
Click to expand...

I like Scarecrow but I personally find such comments hurtful.

I have struggled with weight issues on and off for most of my life. I have found that having some accountability tends to help me. I don't do scales, though. I found that scales aren't always an accurate way to judge BMI. Also, I tend to over focus on the "number" and become discouraged if I didn't lose enough weight in the week. I basically judge success on how my clothes fit and how my body feels. I can always tell if I've lost weight.
I also love to cook, which hasn't helped my weight.
I think you ideas about supporting each other is very good :)
Blessings,
Fairlight
 
I admit that my first thought about Scarecrows post was anger and the strong desire to say a swearword.

SweetLissa
 
Hello,
Along with the issue of gluttony for me is also the issue of compulsive behavior, which I suppose you could argue is a similar issue.
None the less, I would be happy to be part of any support group in which I could help others and that they could support me in the
struggle.
CM
 
Hi,
Thanks everyone for responding. Fairlight - I agree with you about scales. Yesterday I ate well, exercised, had a really productive day. I taught my 9 year old son how to make spaghetti sauce from the garden tomatoes and we canned 8 quarts. Real good day, was quite active. Then this morning the scale read a higher number than the day before. Frustrating......How your clothes fit is a great indicator but I tend to second guess myself. Do these jeans really fit better or have I just stretched them out to a more comfortable point?

Also could one of you ladies help me - how did you put parts of my message in the box and then respond to it?
Have a great day,
AnneMarie
 
sweetlissa,
Did you notice that Mrs. Scarecrow didn't lose the weight until her husband started to eat right and exercise. It may not have been with her but it motivated her to do the same. So your point was made that it can be helpful if our husbands exercise and eat right with us. If God allows my husband a second wife I think that will be one of the best parts - motivating each other to be the best wives we can be.
AnneMarie
 
I did notice that, but since I know how fragile the male ego is, I refrained from the " i told you so" that I wanted to use.

As for having another wife to encourage you...

That is a wonderful thing, but since we are all human lets remember that we may end up doing the encouraging. I would like to think that we all bring out the best in each other, but we are all human and it doesn't always work that way.

Right now, I want to diet and exercise. It bothers me a great deal and I know it bothers hubby too. But I have 7 weeks left till I am done with school and then I can really go for it. Meanwhile, I am just trying to keep from doing too much damage.

As for the box, highlight the words you want to quote and then push the button that says "quote" in your post. Your selection will appear in a box. There are some that know how to do really fancy stuff like put a lable there, but I am not up on that.
 
sweetlissa said:
I did notice that, but since I know how fragile the male ego is, I refrained from the " i told you so" that I wanted to use.
Click to expand...

LOL. Yup Lissa, for sure. My issue is the double standard. They want to whine about the weight of the women when frankly, I've seen pictures of quite a few of these guys and they are not exactly GQ models. Never mind the fact that women are designed to hold and carry more fat than men for biologic reasons. Ugh. They can decide to lose weight and the pounds fall off whereas we have to struggle with every single pound. This is the way God designed us though.. We hang on to our fat in case there is famine and we end up "with child" or having to nurse children. We also have less overall muscle mass. Okay, yeah, I don't want to be 500 pounds but the reality is I will never be model skinny. I've had babies and all that comes with it and I don't regret that. Some of these attitudes bother me because it is no different than the men who fork out for boob jobs and plastic surgeries for their trophy wives.

It is easier to work on losing weight and exercising with a partner, and usually the husband is the best one assuming that he is loving and encouraging, but making put downs and stuff usually results in exactly the opposite effect.

Just got kind of irritated by the whole thread since they side stepped all the fat men and focused on the women.
 
Well, the thread started out about gluttony. Not men or women. It just turned that way. I spoke from a woman's point of view and it went from there. Welltan and his family are very fit and they seem to do it effortlessly. I on the other hand smell chocolate and gain weight. So, I got a bit defensive and tried to turn it into a learning opportunity for all. Yes some of the attitudes are rotten. Hubby explained to me (and T) a long time ago, that men are visual and therefore what the women look like is very important. Women are relational so the state of the relationship is more important than the body. Well, I don't disagree, but for women, being relational means that if hubby is ragging on us to look like we did when we were 20, it hurts the relationship. I believe that we all owe it to ourselves, our families and our God to be as healthy as we can and to set a good example to others. Do I do it all the time? Not even close. But I do know that I will feel a thousand times better about myself when I can spend the time I currently spend studying, taking care of my body and being more careful of what I fee all of us.
 
It did start out about gluttony but it was still in regards to whether or not to consider a woman for a wife if she was fat as it could be a sign of gluttony, so yeah, still was kind of focused on the woman's weight.

Yes, men are visual... But some of them need to accept reality that they can't score a 20 year old size 4 hot babe... Those girls generally want nothing to do with them (or polygamy for that matter). Wishing they were young and hot enough to still catch those kinds of girls and them actually being so are worlds apart. Men are visual but often with very skewed social versions of what a "real woman" should look like.

I just hate they missed the opportunity to look at why God created men and women differently in terms of body type. In Renassaince times, skinny women were bad ju-ju and nobody wanted them. Look at the art... All of the women are curvy and have some pounds on them. Better stock for breeding and not as sickly and frail. Heck, even Marilyn Monroe, whose body was used to fashion Tinkerbelle, was a size 14 to 16 and she was considered HOT. There is so much more to the visual picture than weight... Deportment and self care in other areas means a lot too.

I just in general dislike the double standard. I have a friend who is a size 12/14 and her husband wears a 46 waist. He sits around watching TV and then tells HER she is too fat and needs to lose weight. She looks fine to me and quite healthy and honestly, she is a very beautiful woman so I don't get why his fat pig self complains about it given how yucky he looks.

*sigh* So discouraging.
 
Which brings something else to mind...

You can't assume weight and body size as an indicator of gluttony. My sweet sister-in-law is such a good example of this. I know her very well. She ate like a bird, exercised regularly, and still the weight would not come off. Her food choices were healthy, not many sweets or sodas. And yet she remained large. Her thyroid was fine (yep, she had it checked).

She recently lost over half her body size but it took expensive medical management (she did manage to avoid having bariatric surgery though). She was on a medical regimen. Apparently she was exercising wrong and got her heart rate up too high. So she weighed her food, exercised for 3 to 4 hours per day in their gym, and took their supplements and 2 years later she lost half of herself. She never once cheated which should tell you something about what kind of person she has (major will power!). But it took medical help for her to do it. I don't look at a 350 pound person now and assume they gorge themselves because I know first hand how untrue and unfair that is to think that. I watched her struggle and try and cry and try harder.

The goal is just to be healthier and make better choices. For some women, they won't lose the weight even then. I don't want women beating themselves up all the time. A little compassion goes a long way and that is why it is more important to get to know someone before deciding it is an issue of gluttony or laziness.

Just thinking out loud. When setting goals, think healthy choices and not weight loss and going down sizes...
 
You are fine Lissa.. Just me venting more than anything. Our society in general is far to consumed with "weight" and we all become influenced by those attitudes. We in general (men, women, etc.) need to evaluate HOW our bodies were designed and stop comparing ourselves (for men, their wives or potential wives) to some maniquin in a mall window. God designed us to hold weight differently for a reason... Lets focus on that.
 
[ My issue is the double standard.]
I am so with Beccablue on this one. We women are expected to look fabulous all the time, be supportive,(especially of that fragile male ego that Lissa mentioned), be the perfect wife, mother, helper, whatever, be the best cook, best hostess, love all the in-laws, handle most if not all of the domestic stuff, housework, kids, homework, etc and what are they expected to do? Go to work everyday, pay the bills and sit on the couch with a beer in one hand and the tv remote in the other? I listen to alot of Christian talk radio. So many of these shows lately have dealt with what a wife's responsibility is,and what her husband should reasonably expect from her. I've heard very little about what a wife should expect from her husband. It seems to me that they can be critical of us, how we look, what we do, but the first sign of our being critical of them and they hit the roof. My hubby is a wonderful man, and he treats me like a queen most of the time. But, when he gets critical he knows exactly where to aim the sharpest arrows. I want to strike back with stupid things like his hair loss, or that his jeans aren't quite as small as they used to be, but then I have to ask myself if that momentary satisfaction is worth dealing with his dented ego afterward. So, what is the answer, do we women just suck it up and concentrate on the times we're treated like a queen when he gets that way? Did God wire us that way to just take it? Would we take it from a stranger? Would we take it from other family members? I know I've veered some from the weight issue, but the double standard comes into play in alot of areas of our lives, so forgive me.
Sound a bit frustrated and grumpy, don't I??
To head back a bit toward the original weight topic, I have been on a low carb eating plan for the better part of a year. I've lost from a size 16 to a 10. I'm very happy at this size. I started this eating plan for me, not hubby, not friends, I just wanted to look and feel better. I rarely use the scales, because I tend to get hung up on the numbers. . I'm 5'4", and last time I was on the scale, (a month or so ago) I weighed 175. My head just about exploded!! How can I be a size 10 and weigh that much???? A dear friend reminded me that muscle wieghs more than fat, so that did help me not to get completely depressed. Living on the farm there's always some physical activity to do, plus I clean houses and that's physical, and I exercise. So, yeah, there's muscle there. But, I like knowing size 10 better than 175lbs.
Okay, I guess I've vented long enough. Thanks for letting me.
 
Wow!! This post hit some trigger points for several of ya'll! AnneMarie, I would LOVE to be your 'weight' buddy...please send me a PM here, if you have facebook we can connect that way or by phone/email. If anyone else is interested in being accountable to each other with periodic weigh-ins please let me know.. I am supposed to lose 60lbs. since I had preeclampsia with my last pregnancy before my next one and I would like to do it in the next year. Luckily it is SW's turn to have the next baby, so I could take a little longer ;) but I am 31 so I'd better not wait too long..
Anyway, get in touch..would love to be your support!!
:D Kacy
P.S..I have not read the gluttony post, nor do I plan too..it would probably just make me mad! :evil:
 
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