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Hello from Pennsylvania

L

LoveMultiplied

New Member
We will call my name TC (male) My current and 1st wife Mrs. TC and our Fiancee CM.

TC and Mr.s TC have 2 children, CM has a son. CM and Mrs. TC have been friends for over 18 years, and a couple months back had a conversation that changed everything. We are now trying to wrap our minds around how this could and will all play out.

We have our fears among which are:

TC going to jail
Family shunning us
Dealing with awkward situations
Respecting CM's right to the wedding TC and Mrs. TC got

We are trying to read a lot and research the best ways to make it work. We are really trying to keep it quiet as we pray about it. We are really worried about finding a church family who will accept us.

TC
 
Welcome Lovemultiplied!

I know it seems overwhelming at the beginning of this adventure into "life changing truth" about marriage but we are here to help in anyway we can. Take your time to research, pray and connect with others on this site. You don't have to know all the answers this week. :) I look forward to getting to know your family.

With hope for the future, julieb
 
I think I am basically okay with my posts being journalized.

Central Florida, My parents live there.

Tonight we told the kids that CM will be moving in with her son but we don't know when. We think we will break it to them slowly over time. Right now my FIL is a natural impediment and is forcing us to take it a little slower then we'd like but probably at the speed we need.

A question I have is, how do you handle ceremonies for second wives, is there any one way? Mrs. TC wants to be involved and have a part and wants us all to have wedding bands in the same theme. I guess its a trivial matter overall, but its something that is going through our heads. We had actually thought of doing a destination wedding at some point. Can you tell us your experiences? anybody?
 
Congratulations on the new developments in your lives, and I am glad you found us here. Check out http://www.biblicalfamilies.org/local_groups

Ceremonies are up to you, people here have done a wide range of things, from nothing to the full-blown sit-down wedding that Steve put on at the last retreat, first wife was chief bridesmaid and it was a wonderful celebration for all three of them. So it can certainly be done. It's between you and CM what you want. As are rings - all three wearing them, just the wives, whatever you feel most comfortable with. However remember this is CM's wedding, NOT Mrs TC's, so I'd be checking first how CM feels about rings!

I will look forward to getting to know you better.
 
Welcome. It is a pleasure to meet you :D

There are some truly amazing people on this forum - really some of the best human beings you will ever meet - and they can be a great resource if you need it.

If you can possibly make a retreat do so, because nothing beats face-to-face fellowship with like-minded people.

Ditto to Samuel (FollowingHim) on the ceremony/wedding rings.
 
Welcome! Spend time digging in to the many articles and resources on the site. Look forward to getting to know you a bit through your posts.
Chris
 
Welcome to the forums here at Biblical Families. My wife and I serve in Maine as the regional representatives to include New England, but we may still be the closest group to you depending on what part of PA you are in. There is also a group in Ohio you may wish to contact. Currently we meet once a month for a day of fellowship and family activities with a family from Northeast Massachusetts. We do hope to have enough interest to organize a retreat in New England sometime soon, so keep your eyes out or email me at mark@biblicalfamilies.org.

Regarding ceremonies, what we are looking at here at BF is often not terribly "traditional", yet some would arrange a ceremony and setting much like your traditional legal and religious service (Interesting article about that here http://www.cowperthwaitefamily.com/2012/07/power-to-pronounce-you-man-and-wife.html). Others may choose to enter into covenant without public ceremony, rather choosing a private setting that only involves the man and his wives and any children the family has. Some may ask you to hide this marriage as they think it is wrong, others will want you to call the newspapers and get famous. :lol: You are the head of your family, so don't let anyone tell you that whatever you choose in that regard is too much or too little. You know what you desire, what you can afford, etc. and you will be the one getting married, so.....

Your first wife hopefully will approve of and desire for you to marry CM also, but any Biblical marriage would be between you and CM with Mrs. TC also being your wife but not in covenant with CM herself. While your first wife is quite involved, she will not be marrying this woman, entering into covenant with her, but joining you as your wife. The magnitude of that responsibility is beyond my understanding as I only have one wife, but to those who feel God is leading them to it, I believe the Lord also equips those who do so for His glory. Sorry to belabor that point, but our society has a problem distinguishing between polygyny and homosexuality, thus I bring it up some times :o

This forum and ministry is dedicated to the glory of God through the Lord Jesus Christ, and while we have a Biblical pattern for marriage, patriarchy, and such, we do not have a mandate for ceremonies but rather complete liberty to choose the most sophisticated or the most simple according to the desires of those involved. Sorry to ramble on so long, you will get used to my longwindedness (or quietly exit while I keep rambling on) :lol: :o
 
If you really want to do it up, you can spend about 6 million like Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel. ;)
 
I wonder if the amount spent is inversely proportional to the amount of time their marriage lasts. :)

I few years back I read that your chances for divorce are statistically higher if you spend more than 20k on the wedding.
 
Well we would have spent about $4k if you do the conversion to USD, and we've been married 6 years so far, so could you calculate how long we've got left Chris? :D
 
More about my Father-in-Law who is living with us.

We will call him RT. His story is a testimony unto itself. About 3 years ago he was a recovering alcoholic who turned his life around. He's since done missions trips.

In February Mrs. TC's mother suddenly got sick and died while RT was on a missions trip to Ecuador working on repairing an orphanage. This has been especially hard on her family since she was in her early to mid 50's and was perfectly healthy when the week began. RT took it as a message from God to sell everything and become a full time missionary. This will simultaneously make our lives easier for this and harder without him.

As he has sold major possessions (Cars, lawn mowers, larger items), quit his job, and finally on Monday closing on his house he has been living with us.

This has been a two edged sword. He is so into his mission that he has done some hurtful things such as burning items important to Mrs. TC and her brother. He has hurt some feelings and has been somewhat demanding saying that non-support translates into failure to support his Godly mission. The hardest part of all of this to swallow was his mission to be away from all of us in time for the Holidays. We think he's running, but questioning the mission could be construed as blasphemy, as God fearing people, we do not want this. And so has he unloads all of his worldly possessions that will not fit into his 2 door 2005 Honda Civic, he stays with us. Slowing us down as is likely best for us.

Today he gets the sendoff from his church.I have to be very careful to hide the growing resentment as do his kids. His mentor and missionary school do not expect him until after Christmas. This is selfishness, but will allow us to spend holidays with CM building our relationships there.

I do not know how his message will go today. I must focus on the net effect of the mission and withhold my own judgments. Another 2 days and moves on to my BIL's for a week.

So far as the ceremony, yeah a lot of it is up in the air. We talked about it last night and CM has some humorous requests.

Happy Sunday guys!
 
It looks like I have a little time so I will add on a little.

Responding to some of the earlier posts:

I am thinking Ohio may be closer but we are seriously about equidistant from both locations so far as we can tell. Is there a common theology aside from the belief that Polygyny is biblical? I am reading a lot and am seeing that different people have different theological beliefs from us, but even amongst ourselves we have differences between Prestination vs. Arminianism and gift of toungues vs. canon.

I'm just curious on that note. Thank you so much for the warm welcome!
 
I will let the moderators answer the "what we believe" piece. You are right that there is a wide range of Christian beliefs. There are even some non-believers who are here to get info on plural marriage. I have found that we have the right balance towards each other with respect, tolerance and love even when people are on radically different pages. As you can imagine with such differing viewpoints it took a while to evolve to that point and it is kind of frowned on when people "flame" each other!

If you go to the top right hand corner of the page where it says "Welcome Love Multiplied" and hover over that, you will see a drop down box and you will be able to access the private e-mails in your "PM Inbox". I sent you an e-mail earlier in the week and see you have not read it yet. It took me a while and some major help from Cecil before I was able to figure out how to read the e-mails.

The other resource I recommend for both of your wives as they navigate their way through this, is the women's chat on a Tuesday night. It is not like a normal chat room in that there are not a lot of "drive through" strangers. You get to the chat room from within the biblical families web site. The group tends to be fairly small and cosy with the women getting to know each other very well. It can be a bit weird talking to strangers at first, but we will make them feel very much at home and they do not need to open up about anything if they do not want to. It is a good place for them to ask questions that they maybe cannot ask of their monogamous friends. I have found the women in biblical families have been an amazing blessing in my life. I can turn to them where my monogamous friends or even Mom simply would not understand the question let alone how to solve it.

To access the women's chat go to the top of the page, select Resources and at the bottom you will see "Biblical Families chat". They will need to enter a user name (any name they like) and give it a few minutes for the room to open. We meet on a Tuesday night from 7:30pm to 9(ish) Easten time. People come and go as they please, so it does not matter if you are late or have to leave early. We hope they can join us :D
 
[quote="LoveMultiplied"Is there a common theology aside from the belief that Polygyny is biblical? I am reading a lot and am seeing that different people have different theological beliefs from us, but even amongst ourselves we have differences between Prestination vs. Arminianism and gift of toungues vs. canon.

I'm just curious on that note. Thank you so much for the warm welcome![/quote]

As a Biblical Families staff member, I welcome specific questions regarding our beliefs. As we do have such a diverse background, we often do not allow things to get too heated on doctrinal debate, though we do allow profitable discussions. Please read this page http://biblicalfamilies.org/about_us in this regard, and if after reading that you have specific questions about what Biblical Families stands for and believes, we welcome your email at staff@biblicalfamilies.org

As hundreds of people are on this forum, you may well hear hundreds of viewpoints on any given topic. We urge a Berean approach to all things, that is, examining the Scriptures (not commentaries or denominational statements of faith) to find the truth from God in His Word, which is without error in the original texts. What you will generally get for answers on our forum will include opinions, but often much more Scripture. We believe that God's Word is the authority in all thing. We are all volunteers here and we all have families, so please be patient with us all as we do our best to get to everything. As we continue to redesign and fine tune our site, we hope everyone has gotten to read the updated guidelines, but as many miss them, here is the official BF statement.

Biblical Families exists to promote Biblical marriage and patriarchal Christian family as defined in the inspired writings of the Bible, God's Holy Word. We hope to encourage all who visit our website, forums, chat room, and retreats and build one another up in love. The online forums exist for the discussion of marriage related issues and Biblical study. While these forums are free for public use, they will be regulated by Biblical Families staff so that this ministry continues to glorify God in all things.

Those who do not identify themselves as Christians are welcome to join our forums, read and post regarding family and marriage but should refrain from attempting to use these forums to promote their own beliefs, practices, theology, or other things that contradict the basic tenets of Biblical Christianity, as outlined in the Apostle's Creed. While many other issues may be touched upon, it is our intention to keep the focus on marriage and family, so that newcomers can more easily find the information that is important to them and us, and not be distracted by 'debate' that may push them away. We will moderate with this focus in mind, and we may limit discussion to those things that Biblical Families staff deems appropriate, profitable, and of suitable focus. Our desire is to allow discussion, but more than anything we seek to bring glory to God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

Please consider whether your comments further this mission when posting, and don't take offense if we deem otherwise at some point. We are well aware of the troubles that Christians face when coming to a Biblical understanding of plural marriage, and we don't want to place any extra hurdles in front of them. Remember when you disagree with a comment, to tactfully make your point, and not attack the author.

Thank you for your interest in Biblical Families. If you see a thread or comment that you feel is in violation of this statement, please let us know. You may email staff@biblicalfamilies.org if you have any questions or comments.

Please feel free to form personal relationships with other members - another purpose of our forums - and continue your discussions in private. You may also write to us for deeper discussion on any issue. And of course, for any given subject outside the scope of this forum, there is a forum elsewhere on the Internet where that subject would be welcome. Many of those discussions are important and we encourage you to have them - elsewhere.

Serving God's people for His glory,

Biblical Families Staff
Click to expand...
 
LoveMultiplied said:
We will call my name TC (male) My current and 1st wife Mrs. TC and our Fiancee CM.

TC and Mr.s TC have 2 children, CM has a son. CM and Mrs. TC have been friends for over 18 years, and a couple months back had a conversation that changed everything. We are now trying to wrap our minds around how this could and will all play out.

We have our fears among which are:

TC going to jail
Family shunning us
Dealing with awkward situations
Respecting CM's right to the wedding TC and Mrs. TC got

We are trying to read a lot and research the best ways to make it work. We are really trying to keep it quiet as we pray about it. We are really worried about finding a church family who will accept us.

TC
Click to expand...

Not sure what part of PA you are in but my pastor has been studying this and thus far is not against it. He has told me directly that he realizes in the old testament God did approve of it and he is now studying it in the new testament. We are in Central PA. Let me know if you would like more information.
 
@Pacman you may not get an answer. That thread is about 6 years old...
 
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