Honeymoon phase?

[poly2_2011]

just wondering how long everyone thinks the typical honeymoon stage lasts. I have seen lots of references to taking time so that you can get past it before jumping into anything but I have seen no reference to actual time-lines. So i guess what is the normal poly courtship amount of time? and what is the average everyone is getting along well and settling in phase?

 

[Froggie]

I personally see several different stages within the whole "honeymoon phase:" You've got the courtship phase, when everyone is just spending a lot of time together and developing a close bond, then you've got the initial time after the husband and new spouse are actually having sex, and everyone trying to sort the new feelings and emotions they feel about that. Then, depending upon the living situations, and whether everyone is living under one roof or two or more, there is the settling in phase, including winning the respect of any children involved.

As for my family, we are still in the honeymoon phase that takes place immediately following the wedding, and helping the children adjust. We are unable to combine under one roof at this time, so that makes it a bit more complicated, believe it or not! But we've only been a real poly family for just two weeks, so of course we've still got a ways to go yet. One thing that does really help with establishing a sense of "one-ness" and unity, is that we've been able to have dinner together three or four nights a week, on average, so that's really nice.

 

[poly2_2011]

thank you for your input Mrs Froggie. We all live under one roof and have been for about 5 months. I feel like we have gotten past that settling in stage and into the working relationship phase although we still are all organizing ourselves in the house as we think of something new to try to fit all 9 of us in a 4 bed house. I follow your story in your blog on here and i really appreciate having another point of view on all the subjects that come up. I like that we get the unvarnished decision before anyone says anything about it. Also have you found that you have been getting positive input, and helpful advice when you want to receive it? And i love the idea of rings for everyone and putting the wedding ring on the right hand to avoid questions.

 

[Froggie]

Hi Poly 2--

Wow, nine people in a four bedroom! We have ten people now, but we have two separate three bedroom homes. Despite that, Ruth still does not have a bedroom to speak of, but sleeps on her living room couch! :shock: Which is why I offer up my own bed to her whenever our work schedules permit. One day (when some of the teenagers fly the nest) we hope to get a house big enough for all of us. Right now, there are none available.

And yes, for the most part, I am finding a lot of positive/helpful input here at BF. I hope you will be comfortable enough to add your own family's story to the forum really soon-- especially since you already have five months of experience!

Well, Ruth and Mr. Froggie just called me. They want me to come over and watch a movie with them and the children, so I've got to go. I hope to correspond with you more-- perhaps by PM?