Hudson Taylor's problems

[DeathIsNotTheEnd]

Hi all

I was reading a series of articles the other day about various missionaries, especially in the 17-1800's. Hudson Taylor stuck out to me because I've read his story and biography before, but this time I read it with new eyes.

Now I realize he lived in his own time, was a product of his own culture, and had his own view of things. But his story really sticks out to me as one that would have been saved so much pain, suffering, and loss if he had been allowed/accepted polygyny.

For those who don't know, just briefly: he went to China initially with one wife, who died. While there he was pressured to find a new wife, and so he agreed to marry essentially the maid who'd been taking care of his kids while his wife was invalid and then passed away. On the way back to England he fell in love with the maid's sister, and got engaged to her. Which obviously caused a lot of hurt and problems. This girl then dies a while later. Finally he ends up marrying the sister he was originally meant to marry. There's more to it, but essentially his wives died due to disease and stress and having to carry the burden of being with him on the missions field, each out of her element, when the others were doing more despite not being married to him (the maid raising his children, this other woman, the maid's sister, doing lots of the missions planning, etc.)

And it just really struck me...dang, this whole obsession with monogamy has really screwed things up, hasn't it? If he'd been able to just marry all three of them, I can't help but think things would have gone so much more smoothly :\

 

[PeteR]

When you really start to ponder the pain and cost of monogamy only, the hurt is staggering. Truly, the devil's playground. No wonder he causes so much trouble when the topic comes up.

 

[DeathIsNotTheEnd]

When you really start to ponder the pain and cost of monogamy only, the hurt is staggering. Truly, the devil's playground. No wonder he causes so much trouble when the topic comes up.

Yeah for real.

Take jealousy for example. I think, by and large, jealousy is one of the worst problems in relationships. Yes, there is a kind of Godly jealousy, that's obviously not what I mean. But in general...jealousy is poison. A poison that kills everyone it touches, slowly but surely. We were not meant to be jealous but to love. And yet our church teaches that jealousy is good and normal, and encourages it in women today. Of course, some of that is feminism invading the church, but that's a whole other topic.

But now, we have this culture where jealousy is expected. It makes it so difficult not just to bring up the concept of polygyny (a BIBLICAL IDEA, unbelievable), but now we're at the point where even women who DO accept PM and WANT it still deal with jealousy. I can't believe that it was always that way. I think if anything, history shows that we have been getting WORSE, not better, and farther and farther from God's ideal. Then you have the immense pain it causes when men respond in normal, natural ways that they were designed to do (being attracted to or caring for multiple women), who are all but excommunicated for what God made them to be :\ Truly crazy.

 

[mystic]

I can't believe that it was always that way.

Sarah and Hagar. Leah and Rachel.

 

[DeathIsNotTheEnd]

Sarah and Hagar. Leah and Rachel.

Leah and Rachel were sisters, and one could argue that was Jacob's fault for not loving them equally (as the Bible explicitly says).
Hagar was Sarah's own fault, as she acted out of a desire to 'make God's will happen' rather than waiting on Him, and I would imagine she thus wasn't really providing Hagar out of a desire for Abraham to have another loving relationship but to simply provide her the child she wanted...IE, she never cared for Hagar.

So, I don't think either of those examples speak to normal loving relationships. Nor would I hold either up as how to do polygyny (or marriage at all) in a Godly way.

 

[FollowingHim]

Hannah and Peninah had similar issues also. We can make excuses for each situation for sure, but there is enough consistency to show that plural marriage wasn't necessarily plain sailing even in biblical times.

 

[DeathIsNotTheEnd]

Hannah and Peninah had similar issues also. We can make excuses for each situation for sure, but there is enough consistency to show that plural marriage wasn't necessarily plain sailing even in biblical times.

Yeah, fair enough. Personally, again, I think that comes back to aspects of the curse in Genesis...as well as human brokenness. I suppose my main point is not 'this is a totally new thing' but rather 'this was not God's intent'.

EDIT: and add: and of course, there's plenty of evidence that monogamy wasn't smooth sailing then either

 

[cnystrom]

"Monogamy Only" is a lie from Satan and like all of his lies it causes real harm. Polygamy is not a nice to have option. It is a tool or path that some can use to glorify God, sometimes in difficult circumstances. Satan wants to remove tools from the toolbox and make following God's rightousness as hard as possible.

 

[DeathIsNotTheEnd]

"Monogamy Only" is a lie from Satan and like all of his lies it causes real harm. Polygamy is not a nice to have option. It is a tool or path that some can use to glorify God, sometimes in difficult circumstances. Satan wants to remove tools from the toolbox and make following God's rightousness as hard as possible.

Amen.
You'd think after 2000 years we'd have gotten a good grasp on Paul's words about how life in Christ should FREE us, not add chains, but, well, we're stupid that way I guess

Any time I hear debate on legalistic issues or misinterpretation of the Word I find encouragement of God's character in Christ's words: "I came that you may have LIFE, and have it to the full".

 

[PeteR]

You'd think after 2000 years we'd have gotten a good grasp on Paul's words about how life in Christ should FREE us, not add chains, but, well, we're stupid that way I guess

Church traditions and man made doctrines, often well meaning, add to or subtract from the Word. We must be willing to remove the man made filters and read what Scripture actually says.. Monogamy only v. Poly as a Biblical option truth is one such falsehood we inherited.

 

[DeathIsNotTheEnd]

Church traditions and man made doctrines, often well meaning, add to or subtract from the Word. We must be willing to remove the man made filters and read what Scripture actually says.. Monogamy only v. Poly as a Biblical option truth is one such falsehood we inherited.

So, it's funny...I actually had someone explicitly admit this to me the other day. I was talking to a pastor at a conference and I mentioned sort of to 'test the waters' that I think it's a shame that the Church has thrown all nudity and erotic art 'to the pigs' and now sees anything like that as wrong, instead of trying to be a salt and light in the art community and do it in a redemptive way, show them how to do it right. I mentioned how Song of Solomon would never be allowed to be published by Christian publishers these days. I also mentioned alcohol, for example. (And I do NOT wish to debate either of these so, please just go along with the example lol). Anyway, he kind of shrugged and said "well I think it's important to be safe against people possibly going too far, so we've generally added these rules in order to avoid even the possibility of someone sinning."

I was blown away. I was like..."So you KNOW you're adding to the Word and you DO IT ANYWAY?!" unbelieveable lol. Now, I respect this guy a lot, and when I explained that to him he acknowledged my point and agreed that it was wrong, but...it just really spoke to the reality of the situation: how much we have become like the Pharisees, heaping up burdens that we ourselves could never bear :\

 

[rockfox]

The family listened to a radio drama taken from a Husdon Taylor biography a while back. Pretty good. But I don't seem to recall this part about the maid; think they left it out entirely. Not too surprising, though I may have just forgotten it.

Hagar was Sarah's own fault, as she acted out of a desire to 'make God's will happen' rather than waiting on Him, and I would imagine she thus wasn't really providing Hagar out of a desire for Abraham to have another loving relationship but to simply provide her the child she wanted...IE, she never cared for Hagar.

It is good to keep in mind the historical context. This was a very common situation in those days. So much so the early marriage laws provided for this occurrence, as well as protections for the Hagar's of the world so the Sarah's couldn't send them away.