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Husband wears No Ring??

H

Heidi Lee

New Member
Hello,
We're new here and I have a question. For all of you who are the first wife, how do you feel about
your husband not wearing a wedding band? My husband just asked how'd I feel about him taking off his wedding band & not wear one
any more sense we're looking for wife # 2. I read another post some where on here that stated the man doesn't have to wear a ring
because he is allowed to marry other women. How do you ladies feel about this? Do you want your husband to still wear his
ring or are you o.k. with him not wearing one any more so he's more free to look for next wife? Thanks,
Heidi Lee
 
Hi, well I'm chiming in again! I have no husband but I would not wear a ring anyway because I do not believe in or prefer to wear jewelry. I believe the origin of jewelry is pagan and this includes the origin of wedding ring. I would prefer my husband doesn't anyway. Also some people don't wear for safety or other reasons. Who cares? Not so important and if he wears it he well scare the ladies away, ;)
 
'My' husband goes without his ring most of the time. In the line of work he's in it is in part a safety factor, but since I still think of him as available and know he is trustworthy it just doesn't matter to me.
He wears it sometimes and that's enough.
I on the other hand do wear mine because in this modern world full of single moms I would rather not have guys checking me out. (though for way too many ladies it doesn't mean a thing and married or not they act available) Sad IMO.
 
I agree with you. The ring to me is not really important nowadays to keep from looking available. if you are a virtuos woman many times people can tell just from the way you carry yourself.
 
T and I have talked about this from a few different directions. We are thinking about getting "family" rings. You know like the ones that people give their moms with all the birth stones of their kids? Well we have thought that it would be nice to have a male style band for Pastor Randy with his birthstone in the middle and ours on either side. Then we would get a female style band with the same configuration of stones for each of us. (By the way this was T's idea.)
And T and I have matching toe rings too.

I like jewlery but T loves jewelry a lot.

Anyway, just my thoughts on the matter.

Sweet Lissa
 
The Chaplain and I have spoken about this too. He wears a ring on his left hand as I do. When J joins us we would like us to get rings for our right hands. We aren't sure if they would all three be the same or if j and my ring would be like the yesterday, today and tomorrow rings and his would be different or if all three of us would all be alike. That is our thoughts on the matter of rings.
 
My husband is retired Air Force, he was never allowed to wear his ring while on the flight-line. During our first year of marriage, he promptly lost the wedding ring out of his BDU pocket. I was present when it happened we searched and searched and it could not be found. If we ever are ever near the base where it was lost it at I may bring a metal detector, lol. It was my Grandfather's wedding ring, that was sized up for my husband so it was very sentimental. We saved up (we were young and new in the military and money was tight). We bought a new one. When my husband went to Saudi Arabia for Desert Shield/Storm, he had forgotten to take it off and almost lost his finger loading weapons on an F-15. It's easy to forget those things when you have scud missiles and intercepting patriot missiles to worry about....When he returned from war, he came back with a wedding ring broken in half. It could have been so much worse.

We decided it was not worth losing his finger. A ring is just a symbol of your marriage, it's not a assurance of fidelity. I think it's up to the spouses to decide on together. My husband has talked about getting a tattoo around his wedding ring finger (ouch!). He saw a Celtic design from a place in Hawaii. He wants to add that to our list of things to do on our family vacation this summer. It sounds pretty painful to me! But if he really wants to do that I'm not going to insist he doesn't, lol. It's actually kind of romantic, in a painful way, don't think I will be able to go with him when he gets it done, lol.

I don't think a ring will prevent you from meeting someone who the Lord intends for your family,

M (waffles)
http://www.bigloveoverlogic.blogspot.com/
 
Our take on the "ring thing" draws from several viewpoints already expressed here. We are a second marriage, and had a double ring ceremony. Steve lost his ring while we were going through the transition of mono thinking to poly thinking. (We don't have a second wife yet, but are hoping that will change soon.) And he felt after praying about it that the Lord showed him that he would have a ring to be worn on the right hand that would be designed, like Lissa said, by all of us. His line of work definitely raises the safety question, so the ring would only be worn when it wouldn't potentially cause his digit to be deleted.

What I feel like the Lord showed me was that I would have a jeweled band on my left hand that looks like somewhat like an anniversary band, representing all our covenants,vertical and horizontal and that it was ok to keep wearing my original wedding set. Once I got over the hump about sharing my husband, I was completely willing to put my old wedding set aside for something different, but God didn't seem to think that was necessary. What I would like to do in addition, (and we'll see how this plays out,) is something like Lissa and T are doing, either a ring or maybe a different piece of jewelry that shows our sisterly comittment to each other.

In addition, Steve felt that for him and us a ring on the left hand would indicate that he is not available, which is not true, and the ring on the right hand would be the sign of his marital covenants to observers who had an ear to hear and eyes to see. I agree and am completely comfortable with that. I am not a big bling bling person, although I do like to look at jewelry. Hey! Maybe all of us can get matching toe rings and wear them on the opposite foot of Lissa and T, so we can have a "secret handshake!!" ;) What say y'all?

Man alive, it is so fun to be able to people to talk to about stuff like this!!
 
In our relationship we have always worn rings. A while back my husband gained a lot of weight but he never took off his ring because his finger had swelled to the point where he could not get it off. Then a few years ago he had surgery so the hospital cut it off (the ring not his finger).

Last October, we renewed our vows. That was a great opportunity for him to get a new ring and he bought me a new one. Now I have two bands on my left hand and he has one! If we add a sister wife, we have decided that he will get a second band for his left hand and she will have one as well.

He and I both agree that if he starts a relationship with a potential sister wife she will know about me up front and I will know that he is talking to her.
 
My husband took his ring off a few years ago when we started looking for a potential 2nd wife. He actually did continue to wear his ring for the first six months or so of our search but felt it prevented him from even striking up a conversation with some women (hence they probably thought, "what a cheat!") LOL
I could care less, a ring does not deceide his commitment to me, he does and that's all I need to know. However I will say that the woman whomhe dated seriously from the non-polyg world (in other words, he introduced her to the concept..she was not a believer) did not work out so well so maybe it's not the been the best decision? I'm not sure. But I do hope to grow our family, so whatever he needs to do to facilitate that I am behind 100%.
:-) Kacy
 
Marichu said:
Hi, well I'm chiming in again! I have no husband but I would not wear a ring anyway because I do not believe in or prefer to wear jewelry. I believe the origin of jewelry is pagan and this includes the origin of wedding ring. I would prefer my husband doesn't anyway. Also some people don't wear for safety or other reasons. Who cares? Not so important and if he wears it he well scare the ladies away, ;)
Click to expand...

We agree with you about rings being pagan, we no longer wear wedding rings, although I cover my head to signify that I am married.

Kara
 
My husband has not worn a ring our entire marriage and I got over it after a few years. He witnessed a terrible accident where a man's wedding ring got caught in a piece of machinery and he lost that finger. He has tried a few times to wear it, but ends up throwing it across the bedroom in his sleep. He also does not wear a watch, necklaces or even sunglasses, so I can't get offended at just a ring. In fact, I took my ring off week-before-last while I was canning, and I haven't found it since. I guess I haven't missed it. I am going to try to find it now because I really like it as a piece of jewelry.

I think I would probably have an issue or two if there were ever a new wife and he wore a ring for her all of the sudden, but I doubt that he would. Rings are nice, but they're not what makes the marriage.
 
When my parents were married, the Rector refused to perform the ceremony unless my father were to go ringless. The rector told my parents that "putting a ring on a man's finger was akin to putting a ring through the nose of a bull." When I was married, I put a ring on my husband in the ceremony, but he doesn't normally wear it. Like Marichu says, it might scare the ladies away! Just joking, everyone knows he is married in our town anyway.
 
DeeAnn said:
He witnessed a terrible accident where a man's wedding ring got caught in a piece of machinery and he lost that finger.
Click to expand...

Due to that kind of danger at work a coworker's husband doesn't wear his ring most of the time. To calm her fears he had their initials and wedding date tattoo'd on his ring finger... can't lose that one. She liked it so much she did the same thing. For a tattoo it is pretty nice; I'm not much of a tattoo person.
 
I personally would want my husband to wear a ring but only if it doesn't cause a safety concern. Only because a ring symbolizes a bond to me. I do like the 2 ring idea that was brought up so that each wife would feel bonded.
 
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