Loving your wife

[WifeOfHisYouth]

After an extensive look at submission in my previous post, I thought it would be interesting to look at the other side.

Ephesians 5:25-33

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband."

What does it really look like for a husband to "love his wife"? More specifically, how do you men accomplish that in practical form?

Wives, how do you feel your husband accomplishes this?

If a man is truly loving his wife, (as Christ loves the church) shouldn't it be easy for her to submit?

 

[Slumberfreeze]

how do you men accomplish that in practical form?

In general that means making sure that her health, safety and comfort are my primary concerns, because I do not well tolerate anything that infringes upon my own health, safety, or comfort.
But that's just nourishment.

Cherishing is something else again, and I certainly have a history of cherishing my own flesh, so I have big shoes to fill there. For me that means giving her things that I don't prefer to have in my house, (things that meow...) because it makes her happy. It means giving her affirmations that I find annoying and repetitive, because she craves them. It means not pushing her out of her comfort zone except with care, thought, and purpose. It means re-evaluating my own rules at intervals and making sure I'm not just making her suffer to suit my own pride, ego, and prejudices. It means being open to blessing her in new ways and it means being willing to bless her even when she is not being especially pleasing to me. It means buying things that will make her life easier and more comfortable even if we totally don't need them.

Cherishing means a lot to me because while I'd like to think of myself as one of Jesus' well trained dogs; lean, hungry, and thoroughly disciplined, the truth is that I also want to be an ugly little fat flapped pug in His arms, being fed REAL bacon and receiving tummy rubs. The list of considerations that I want from the Lord borders on megalomania, and I believe the obscene amount of Grace that I hope to be shown must be mirrored in how I treat my wife.

Somewhere between cherishing and nourishing is self discipline (washing in the word). I don't hate my flesh, but I do lift weights because I know that undergoing regular physical effort is good for the mind, body, and soul. So if I do see something that needs to be strengthened I take steps to improve it. The bible says "If a woman wants to learn anything, she should ask her husband at home". For my wife, ignorance is not really an option. for the most part if I come to an understanding on something, she's in for a series of lectures until I'm satisfied that I've completely exasperated her on the subject.

 

[aineo]

I am going to wait until I have more time for a proper response, but something caught my eyes in this passage that I have never really noticed before. The passage talks about how Christ sanctified and cleansed the church, and then it goes on to talk about nourishing and cherishing. This seems to me to be a call to husbands to be sure they are leading their wives, and as a result, their families too, to be seeking a more holy and purified life. I don't think a husband can cleanse or purify his wife or wives, but he can be a leader who seeks God and draws the attention of his family toward Godly things.

I think this makes obvious sense, and I think most of us here would agree with the concept, but I never noticed what appears to be a calling to this in this passage before.

 

[windblown]

I think a lot of these ideas were discussed recently in the thread "Good husband defined?"