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General Marriage Contract (P1)

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The foundation that is usually accepted regarding the New Testament and is almost always ignored in the Old is that God relates to His people through covenants (not just for periods, but for contracts). But not just any covenant, not a covenant of king and servant: on the contrary, a marriage covenant. Covenant theology ignores this because it focuses on describing God's covenant merely in theological terms of sovereign-servant (there is truth in this, of course, but it is not the focal point). That's not how it happens in the Scriptures.

GOD OF COVENANTS

In Scripture, God does not act like an animal; He acts like a husband, always. We often confuse the concepts and think that the covenant at Sinai with Israel is of the common type in the Middle East between kings and vassals. But that's not how the prophets themselves saw that covenant. Although the concept of king-servant was present, the central focus is on husband-wives (Ezekiel 23:1-9). God made a marriage covenant with Israel (Jeremiah 31:32; Jeremiah 3; Ezekiel 23:1-9), and this needs to be taken into account when talking about marriage.

We also need not to confuse the concepts. When God wants to emphasize the role of savior and king, the covenant carries within it the blood, for without blood there is no forgiveness of sins (Hebrews 9:22). But when God wants to highlight His promises and the consequent relationship with the people, the blood takes a backseat, and the contract takes precedence. How do we know this? Well, the covenant that God made with Adam did not involve blood, as it was made only in terms of promises and threats. The Torah itself has a similar structure, with its feasts merely foreshadowing God's final covenant with the people, which would indeed be through the blood of Christ, and would place blood in the background, focusing on the subsequent relationship. But we should not get lost in comparisons. God made a Covenant with Adam, and this covenant is the basis of human relationships: God made us to relate through covenants.

It's also important to note the role of each part of the covenant: God is always the husband (never the wife), and the Church (including Israel) is always the wife (or wives, depending on what is being taught). Passages like Jeremiah 3 and Ezekiel 23 are the best examples of the plural case (wives), and Hosea 1 is the best example of the singular case (wife). Notice that the prophets themselves interpret the covenant at Sinai and with Abraham not as a covenant between a sovereign and subjects, but as a marriage covenant. It's not a metaphor. It's the actual relationship. Proof of this is that when Paul reaffirms the prohibition of relations with a "cult prostitute," he emphasizes that we are one spirit with Christ (1 Corinthians 6:17, 20). Metaphors cannot be doctrines that divide right from wrong, so it's essential to note that there is indeed a marriage between God and His people.

It would be absurd if it were otherwise. Think of Hosea. If the marriage between God and His people is a metaphor, then Hosea is making a metaphor of a metaphor (he marries a prostitute to symbolize God's relationship with His people in the Old Testament), and he can never reach reality. As far as we know, the Old Testament is a shadow of reality, not a shadow of another shadow (Colossians 2:17 – but note that the text speaks of the law, assuming that God's marriage in the Old Testament is a shadow).

Now consider Ezekiel 16. Ezekiel 16 describes Israel's journey from its origins to the Egyptian captivity, its multiplication in Exodus 1, its growth, maturity for liberation, and finally, marriage (at Sinai). It's important to note that the prophet does not describe all of this as a beautiful metaphor of God and His people because at the end of Ezekiel 16, God says He will treat Israel like an adulteress, yes, with the penalty of death, and that's what happens to the people: Israel is killed by other nations. If everything were a metaphor, not even death could be real. Moreover, God would not kill the people for a metaphor.

In perspective, it's easier to say that the marriage between man and woman is, in fact, a "metaphor." Why? We know from Scripture that marriage seals the fact that both become one flesh; this means that the death of the flesh ends the marriage. Considering that we are spiritually married to God, and this will not end, marriage in the present world only symbolizes God's marriage to His people, not the other way around. What is temporary, by definition, cannot be reality.

Think of it another way: Christ Himself says that in heaven there is no marriage (Mark 12:25), which is logical even from the Torah, as it only connects marriage to the flesh – only if the flesh were to continue to exist would marriage continue. Now, isn't that proof that, in reality, God created marriage to express His relationship with us and not that the marriage between God and His people is a reflection of the marriage between man and woman?

Also, God, being a good husband, disciplines and rebukes Israel. He teaches the people, and the people, for their part, have the covenant of submission to God and His commands. This is the marriage covenant. If the people violate this covenant, God pursues them. The truth is that the covenant does not cease to exist; on the contrary, even when God gives a certificate of divorce (Jeremiah 3:8), it does not say that Israel ceases to be His wife, but rather foresees that He will give Israel a better covenant, with lesser burdens and greater mercy (Jeremiah 3:12). In fact, God never abandoned Israel, as He saved the remnant from the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem, having converted the first Jews in Acts 2–3. God indeed made the new covenant with Israel (the nation) represented as Judah and included the Gentile church in the covenant (the remainder of Israel). Then He made both into one church. Thus, the entire church and God became one spirit.

Now, marriage can only be dissolved by the death of the flesh, but with God, we are spiritually married. If the spirit does not die and, especially, our husband never dies, the marriage is never dissolved with God, ensuring His people complete salvation. Here, we are shown, therefore, that the marriage relationship further highlights the transience of physical marriage: God did not create Adam with the intention that his marriage would last forever. Rather, God intended only to teach something through the creation of Adam – that the last Adam would come (1 Corinthians 15).

Note that God's relationship is marital (Hosea 2:19, 20). Therefore, everything that is true about God's relationship with Israel/the Church is true regarding the marriage of Husband-Wife(s). Marriage is the full expression of God's relationship with His people.

Note: Just as God is not obligated to marry, we cannot presume that man is either. However, as we should note, God's marriage to His people allows for many blessings, which presupposes the same for the marriage between man and woman. If we consider the full meaning of marriage, we will understand that God gives it as a blessing and not as a commandment. We will return to this below, commenting on Genesis 2.

GENESIS 2 – THE CONTRACT

And Adam said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man." Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (Genesis 2:23-25)

We need to contextualize Genesis 2. The text is not talking about the ideal model of human relationships. There's no such thing in Scripture. The text doesn't deal with "ideal" things; that's our invention because we can't explain with our minds why some things are allowed. Instead, it's teaching about what the marriage contract is. We'll demonstrate below.

How do we know the text isn't talking about an ideal? Because not even Jesus cites it that way in Matthew 19 or Mark 10. Jesus, when citing the passage, proves that it's directed toward the marriage contract, not marriage in its relationships. We need to remember that the creation of Adam was exclusively for him to represent Christ (1 Corinthians 15:45), so the figure can't be confused with things that are not essential to it. For example, if God wanted, He could have created Adam with children, but He didn't, to express the full relationship of Christ with the Church. God didn't want Christ to be alone, so He gave Him the Church.

Let's flip it: does it mean the ideal of marriage is not to have children? As you can see, the text itself says the opposite of that. So, we can't assume that because Adam was created in a certain state, that state is the ideal. In fact, Adam couldn't be the ideal in any way, because, as Paul shows, creation was not the ideal, but had the original intention of expressing the coming of Christ, not being an end in itself (1 Corinthians 15:45-50). Thus, it's not a text strictly about sin in relation to sex but about the contract.

Note: What would be the ideal? Being married or single? For instance, in Heaven, we don't marry anymore (Mark 12:25), is that proof that the ideal for us is not to be married? What is the ideal: creation or Heaven? This apparent contradiction only exists because we reason in terms of Greek ideals and not by biblical notions of right and wrong. God didn't create man to be the way he was created, because creation is good, but not glorious. Adam couldn't inherit the kingdom of God because he was corruptible, as evidenced by his fall (1 Corinthians 15:50). Thus, at no point is the original creation, in Scripture, used as an ideal, but as something to be surpassed – and this applies even to marriage itself, as the original creation doesn't express the ideal of marriage, only the commandment tied to the marriage contract, that's all. Heaven, even though it is the Ideal, says nothing about marriage on Earth, so any attempt to use either as an ideal results in failure.

Speaking of sin, the text is not about a commandment. As we have already shown in "What is the Law of God?", commandments have demarcation lines of transgression. "Not to marry" finds its line where? In age? In financial conditions? Worse, in Jeremiah 16:1, 2 the Lord Himself forbids Jeremiah to marry. God cannot contradict His own commandments; He will never command a man to lie with another man's wife, or to kill an innocent. Therefore, we can say that this text is not a commandment about to marry.

If we go further, we will see that Paul instructs, in 1 Corinthians 7, that ordinary men should not marry (the order is different for bishops, even in the context of persecution). And for what reason does Paul say this? Because of the present moment [when the church lived under persecution between the years 40 and 70 AD (1 Co 7:26, 27)]. Is Paul contradicting the Law of God? By no means! He knows well that there is a matrimonial law (Romans 7:2, 3), but this law is not about the obligation to marry, but about the act of marriage itself, which is the contract.

Now, we know that there is some commandment in the text of Genesis 2, but if it is not about having children or getting married, what is it then? Simple, God's commandment is about what the marriage contract is, hence the explanatory clause ("therefore" and "they shall become one flesh", meaning they cannot cease to be). As Jesus himself demonstrates, God's commandment is that the marriage contract binds individuals for life (Matthew 19:6). Only in this and in this is the commandment.

What are the evidences of this in the text itself?

The text says "his" wife: we have the feeling that this is a natural writing that simply implies that the individuals became husband and wife after becoming one flesh. But the truth is that this text says the exact opposite. The order in which things happen will clarify, see how it is written and see what is demonstrated:

(a) The man leaves his father and mother

(b) hold fast

(c) to his wife​

According to the logic of the text, the order of events is: (a) his wife (b) leaving father and mother (c) hold fast

Why do we know this? Simple, the text doesn't say that the man joins "a" woman or "the" woman, but "his" woman, meaning she is already his wife before the union, and the union doesn't make them husband and wife – this is clear and direct in the text, without needing further explanation. Also, it doesn't say "hold fast with your girl" or "with the virgin", as the text aims to show that the contract precedes the physical union, and thus uses precise words. The text aims to demonstrate that Eve was already Adam's wife before he joined her, and this contractual union has the physical bond as the limit of the contract's validity. We will see other texts that prove this, but we need to clarify more details.

For example, leaving father and mother is something that can only happen before the union of the two, as this act signifies the creation of a new family. Thus, the text is teaching about the separation from the family due to the marriage contract. So, only the parents are present here. They are the authorities of the marriage, and the marriage is recognized before them.

Note: The text is not concerned whether the contract is written or verbal, as we see, God's contract with man is not written, although symbolized by the trees in the middle of the Garden. The text is also not concerned with pragmatic issues, such as whether the lack of civil registration can cause any problem or not for political administration (submission to civil authorities has no relation to the validity of the marriage contract before God – at most, it is a record due to our submission, but this record has no real value). See below.

Here still fits another piece of information: why is it the son who leaves father and mother? Because contrary to what is often said, marriage was consummated in the woman's parents' house, as a means for her parents to have proof that she was a virgin (Deuteronomy 22:13-18; Song of Solomon 3:4) – the objective of the text is solely to prove the woman's virginity, with the route taken being nonessential to validate the marriage.

Another question raised by the contract is: who can accept it? Although this answer is given several times in the texts we will study next, we need to understand what Genesis accepts as the "parties." These parties are not – as Catholics think – the Church, nor are they – as Protestants think – the Political Government, nor are they – as liberals think – the individuals, although in extreme situations they "witness" between each other and God. Let's explain.

The only ones present in the text are the man's parents, which indicates that the weight of the contract is not merely on the woman's parents, but on the acceptance by the man's parents. They are the ones who accept the marriage or testify in favor of it. Only the parents (not the siblings, nor the State, etc.) have this power in the scriptures. This text of Genesis teaches about the marriage contract, not about the politics acquired by man afterwards, therefore, we must understand that this is the assertion of the text. The man does not marry because a church said so, or because a politician said so, but because the parents (of both parties) accepted and agreed in a vow.

In summary, in Genesis 2, the commandment is "they shall become one flesh," that is, "they shall not cease to be one flesh," thus becoming the marriage contract. This contract is established intrafamilially and is for as long as the flesh lasts, making the violation of this contract a sin (spoiler: divorce does not violate the contract but what happens after it).
 

MARRIAGE CONTRACT (P2)​

THE MARRIAGE CONTRACT IN SHECHEM AND DINAH – MISTAKES AND HOW TO RESOLVE THEM

Now Dinah the daughter of Leah, whom she had borne to Jacob, went out to see the women of the land. 2 And when Shechem the son of Hamor the Hivite, the prince of the land, saw her, he seized her and lay with her and humiliated her. 3 And his soul was drawn to Dinah the daughter of Jacob. He loved the young woman and spoke tenderly to her. 4 So Shechem spoke to his father Hamor, saying, “Get me this girl for my wife.” 5 Now Jacob heard that he had defiled his daughter Dinah. But his sons were with his livestock in the field, so Jacob held his peace until they came. 6 And Hamor the father of Shechem went out to Jacob to speak with him. 7 The sons of Jacob had come in from the field as soon as they heard of it, and the men were indignant and very angry, because he had done an outrageous thing in Israel by lying with Jacob's daughter, for such a thing must not be done. 8 But Hamor spoke with them, saying, “The soul of my son Shechem longs for your[a] daughter. Please give her to him to be his wife. 9 Make marriages with us. Give your daughters to us, and take our daughters for yourselves. 10 You shall dwell with us, and the land shall be open to you. Dwell and trade in it, and get property in it.” 11 Shechem also said to her father and to her brothers, “Let me find favor in your eyes, and whatever you say to me I will give. 12 Ask me for as great a bride-price and gift as you will, and I will give whatever you say to me. Only give me the young woman to be my wife.” 13 The sons of Jacob answered Shechem and his father Hamor deceitfully, because he had defiled their sister Dinah. 14 They said to them, “We cannot do this thing, to give our sister to one who is uncircumcised, for that would be a disgrace to us. 15 Only on this condition will we agree with you—that you will become as we are by every male among you being circumcised. 16 Then we will give our daughters to you, and we will take your daughters to ourselves, and we will dwell with you and become one people. 17 But if you will not listen to us and be circumcised, then we will take our daughter, and we will be gone.” 18 Their words pleased Hamor and Hamor's son Shechem. 19 And the young man did not delay to do the thing, because he delighted in Jacob's daughter. Now he was the most honored of all his father's house. 20 So Hamor and his son Shechem came to the gate of their city and spoke to the men of their city, saying, 21 “These men are at peace with us; let them dwell in the land and trade in it, for behold, the land is large enough for them. Let us take their daughters as wives, and let us give them our daughters. 22 Only on this condition will the men agree to dwell with us to become one people—when every male among us is circumcised as they are circumcised. 23 Will not their livestock, their property and all their beasts be ours? Only let us agree with them, and they will dwell with us.” 24 And all who went out of the gate of his city listened to Hamor and his son Shechem, and every male was circumcised, all who went out of the gate of his city. 25 On the third day, when they were sore, two of the sons of Jacob, Simeon and Levi, Dinah's brothers, took their swords and came against the city while it felt secure and killed all the males. 26 They killed Hamor and his son Shechem with the sword and took Dinah out of Shechem's house and went away. 27 The sons of Jacob came upon the slain and plundered the city, because they had defiled their sister. 28 They took their flocks and their herds, their donkeys, and whatever was in the city and in the field. 29 All their wealth, all their little ones and their wives, all that was in the houses, they captured and plundered. 30 Then Jacob said to Simeon and Levi, “You have brought trouble on me by making me stink to the inhabitants of the land, the Canaanites and the Perizzites. My numbers are few, and if they gather themselves against me and attack me, I shall be destroyed, both I and my household.” 31 But they said, “Should he treat our sister like a prostitute?”

Here we have a strange case: Shechem first engages with Dinah, humiliating her. However, note that Shechem himself asks his father to take Dinah as his wife, proving that men understood that sexual relations did not make individuals husband and wife. Furthermore, he followed exactly the relationship described in Genesis 2: the man leaves his father and mother and needs the authorization of the girl's parents for the marriage. Within this, it is noted that sexual relations without marriage with a girl who has parents is folly (note: "lying with Jacob's daughter" is the problem; if she did not have parents, the text would address it differently). Clearly, what is at issue here is an act of dishonor, not an act of sin (we will see more about this later).

Hamor and Jacob also understand that Shechem was not married to Dinah. However, the problem that occurs is that, in the midst of it all, Shechem stops dealing with Jacob and starts dealing with Dinah's brothers (this was his great mistake). Until then, as long as everything was being resolved by Jacob, the process would follow according to Genesis 2 and Exodus 22 specifies, but Shechem's impatience prevented him from dealing with the proper authority. The result: Dinah's brothers kill Shechem and his family. Yes, they were innocent men before Jacob, and to prevent this from happening again, God's law explains the marriage process better later on.

So, having said that, Dinah went to Shechem's house (without ceremony [because marriage is not a ceremony, but nothing prevents it], and without another authority), making the situation even more complicated. After all, the property belongs to the husband, and if Dinah lived with Shechem, she could already be considered his wife. But Jacob's sons were wicked; they violated their own vow, killed innocents, and did evil. All based on the fact that Shechem treated Dinah as a prostitute. Now, does the Bible punish with death the prostitute and those who lie with her? Clearly not (we will see in another text about this issue), unless it is cultic sex; hence, there is impiety in the hands of Jacob's sons. And God, to prevent this from happening again, teaches:

If a man seduces a virgin who is not pledged to be married and sleeps with her, he must pay the bride-price, and she shall be his wife. If her father absolutely refuses to give her to him, he must still pay the bride-price for virgins in silver. (Exodus 22:16-17)

Now, does sex make them husband and wife? Look, the text of Exodus 22 aims to prevent what happened to Jacob's family from happening again. It's not about prostitution or anything else. Exodus 22 shows that a man becomes obligated to take the girl he seduced as his wife, considering that she lives with her father (which is different from a prostitute, where there is no seduction, only payment). In this scenario, there is an obligation to marry. Exodus excludes any other relative from the relationship, showing that if the girl lives under her father's authority, the man is obligated to marry her. On the other hand, the father can refuse, indicating that neither of them is husband and wife, and the man does not face the death penalty (if it were adultery, he would). Therefore, this has nothing to do with adultery and cannot be inferred from it.

In reality, what the text wants to ensure is that what happened to Shechem does not happen again: death. The man is innocent, although he dishonored the girl. And, in the law, dishonor is not a sin (as we have already shown in the introduction). Now, if a man treats a girl who lives under her parents' authority as a prostitute (by sleeping with her), should he be punished with death? No! Because there is no sin, only dishonor. Now we can revisit the issue: what is the marriage contract? Is it sexual union? No, because no father can invalidate the marriage union anywhere in Scripture: what God has joined together, let no one separate. In other words, Exodus 22 proves that sex did not make them married because "he shall take her to be his wife" is in the future tense, not the present, and the father can refuse to make his daughter a wife, meaning that they did not get married.

But this raises another problem: what if the girl hides from her father that she has already had sex with a man? It's quite simple, in this case, she has sinned:

However, if this charge is true and no proof of the young woman's virginity is found, then they shall bring the young woman out to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her to death with stones, because she has committed an outrageous act in Israel by whoring in her father's house. So you shall purge the evil from your midst. (Deuteronomy 22:20, 21)

Indeed, Exodus 22 anticipates that the father knows about the sexual act and seeks to preserve the lives of the man and the woman because there is no inherent sin. However, the woman who engages in sexual relations without her father's knowledge and consent is to be put to death because she has committed a sin by violating her father's authority. Note that the text in Deuteronomy does not say that the woman was married to another man but that she was prostituting herself in her father's house (indicating that she would not die if she did not live with her father [with an exception if the father were a priest - Leviticus 21:9]).

Deuteronomy 22 is proving by all means that: 1 - sex is not marriage; 2 - but it is a violation of marriage if the woman has engaged in it under her father's authority, has not disclosed it to him, and then marries another man. A question may arise: when should the woman tell her father that she has had sexual relations? Before marrying another man, so the father will follow the process outlined in Exodus 22:16, either allowing or invalidating the relationship she had and making her free to marry.

Now, if a woman and a man have become sexually united, what are they? "One flesh" (1 Corinthians 6:16), but not husband and wife. As we have seen above, a contract is necessary for "one flesh" to be equivalent to becoming "husband and wife" (thus, a man becomes one flesh with as many women as he sexually unites with, but only with the one who enters into a marriage contract with him is he married for life). But consider it another way, if it is true that becoming one flesh is equivalent to marriage, what can we say about Rahab, the former prostitute? I must say that God does not annul any marriage, whether it occurred before or after conversion. Therefore, if Rahab was one flesh (in the sense of marriage) with the men she united with, she not only committed adultery but also made her husband an adulterer, and Christ would descend from a person who remained in adultery (Matthew 1:5 - David committed adultery, but he did not remain in it).

Note: Deuteronomy 22:20 shows that the man only discovered that the woman was no longer a virgin because she did not bleed (cf. verse 17 [the garment with blood was shown as proof of virginity, which may explain why the first night of sex could be in the parents' house {Song of Solomon 3:4}]). On the other hand, if there is no carnal union, the contract can be broken by either party, such as the groom, and we see this in the story of Joseph (Matthew 1:18-20), proving that Deuteronomy only wants to show us that the contract cannot be canceled after the physical union, but it says nothing about what would happen without this union. If Joseph were to unite with Mary, from his perspective of the facts, she would be worthy of death, but by releasing her from the contract, she would not become a sinner and would not deserve death; she would only be obliged to marry the one who had impregnated her (Exodus 22:16, 17). Thus, we should understand that the contract can be broken by the husband as long as the union is not consummated.

Only the covenant can elevate the value of "one flesh" to something greater than mere sexual relations (2 Samuel 5:1). This is why we do not say that animals get married, because they cannot make covenants or practice justice, which is the image of God in man. Do animals have sex? Nevertheless, we do not expect their union to be treated as marriage.

JUDAH AND TAMAR - MARRIAGE AS A CONTRACT ABOVE ALL

Judah, then, took a wife for Er, his firstborn, and her name was Tamar. But Er, Judah’s firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the Lord, so the Lord killed him. [...] Then Judah said to Tamar his daughter-in-law, “Remain a widow in your father’s house until my son Shelah grows up.” For he thought, “He may die too, just like his brothers.” So Tamar went to live in her father’s house. [...] After a long time Judah’s wife, the daughter of Shua, died. When Judah had recovered from his grief, he went up to Timnah, to the men who were shearing his sheep, and his friend Hirah the Adullamite went with him. When Tamar was told, “Your father-in-law is on his way to Timnah to shear his sheep,” she took off her widow’s clothes, covered herself with a veil to disguise herself, and then sat down at the entrance to Enaim, which is on the road to Timnah. For she saw that, though Shelah had now grown up, she had not been given to him in marriage. When Judah saw her, he thought she was a prostitute, for she had covered her face. Not realizing that she was his daughter-in-law, he went over to her by the roadside and said, “Come now, let me sleep with you.” “And what will you give me to sleep with you?” she asked. “I’ll send you a young goat from my flock,” he said. “Will you give me something as a pledge until you send it?” she asked. He said, “What pledge should I give you?” “Your seal and its cord, and the staff in your hand,” she answered. So he gave them to her and slept with her, and she became pregnant by him. After she left, she took off her veil and put on her widow’s clothes again. [...] About three months later Judah was told, “Your daughter-in-law Tamar is guilty of adultery, and as a result she is now pregnant.” Judah said, “Bring her out and have her burned to death [death penalty = sin].” As she was being brought out, she sent a message to her father-in-law. “I am pregnant by the man who owns these,” she said. And she added, “See if you recognize whose seal and cord and staff these are.” Judah recognized them and said, “She is more righteous than I, since I wouldn’t give her to my son Shelah.” And he did not sleep with her again. (Genesis 38:6,7, 11-19, 24-26)

Let's see how the contractual process was followed: after her widowhood, Tamar returned to her father (that is, to the authority over her), but returned with a marriage contract. Here we need to be cautious, as the text says she had not been given to Shelah as a wife. In the absence of technical language, the meaning is clear: she was married to Shelah, but the act had not been consummated. How do we know she already had a marriage contract? Because not only those who informed Judah, but Judah himself acknowledged that she committed adultery after becoming pregnant. Notice how distinct this is from the case of Dinah, where prostitution is the issue, not adultery. The proof that this was recognized is that the penalty for adultery is death, therefore Tamar should have been put to death. Don't believe it? Deuteronomy 22 clarifies:

When a virgin is engaged to a man, and another man encounters her in the city and lies with her, you shall bring them both out to the gate of that city and stone them to death—the young woman because she did not cry out in the city, and the man because he violated his neighbor’s wife. You must purge the evil from among you. But if the man encounters a engaged woman in the open country, and he seizes her and lies with her, only the man who lay with her shall die. You must do nothing to the young woman—she has not committed an offense deserving death, just as a man rises up against his neighbor and murders him, so is this case. (Deuteronomy 22:23-26)

What we have before us? Something quite simple: a virgin engaged to a man who lies with another man without any resistance commits sin (note that the text, even though she is a virgin, already treats her as another man's wife). But not only that, the text reveals something about the story of Judah and Tamar: Tamar was engaged (betrothed) to Shelah, and since she appeared pregnant without any protest, there was a presumption of guilt upon her, deserving the penalty that the text foresaw. In fact, by the way the text deals with the matter, both (Judah and Tamar) should have died, and hence we notice that Judah's statement ("She is more righteous than I") makes perfect sense: how could he punish her if he himself should be put to death? He could not accuse her; his judgment was not free, he was guiltier than her, so he could not "cast the first stone." What we have, therefore, is not just a mere Jewish culture understanding the contract as marriage, but the law itself affirming it – God considers them both married when the engagement contract is accepted by the parents, and after that, sexual union is just the consummation.

Note: In Leviticus 19:20, we see that a betrothed female slave would not be put to death if she lay with another man. This proves that the marriage contract can vary depending on the previous contractual structure. However, once a woman is free, if she lies with a man other than her betrothed, she should be put to death. The man committed sin, clearly, as shown by the need for atonement (only for the man, as the woman is not treated as guilty of adultery in this case – note that this differs from the cases in Exodus 22 and Deuteronomy 22). Another variation of the marriage contract is the levirate, which imposed the obligation to bear children in the name of the brother who died (Deuteronomy 25:5-10). This contract could be unfulfilled, but once accepted and not fulfilled, God saw it as sin (resulting in death), as it would be the breaking of a vow (Genesis 38:8-10 – no, the text does not speak of masturbation).

We can summarize the understanding of the Old Testament and Genesis 2 as follows:

1 - Genesis 2 establishes that the woman is the man's wife before the physical bond.

2 - The physical bond marks the closure of the contract, making the validity of this contract real for as long as the life of the flesh endures (since we do not resurrect with the same flesh, this is why marriage is not reinstated in the Resurrection [Matthew 22:30] – it would be, if we returned to the same body [as believed by the Pharisees and by much of the 'Reformed']).

3 - Thus, Genesis 2 and the Old Testament legislate on the fact that marriage is an unbreakable contract, as Jesus shows, it is only on this contract that Genesis 2 specifically deals with (Mark 10:7-9).
 

MARRIAGE CONTRACT (P3)​


THE NEW TESTAMENT

There aren't many passages in the New Testament about marriage in the same way as in the Law. The Law defines the terms, the New Testament accepts them. But let's consider a few passages to notice what we have been saying:

The woman replied, "I have no husband." Jesus said to her, "You are right when you say you have no husband. The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true." (John 4:17-18)

What do we have here? First, an interpretation that the woman would be an adulteress, however, we cannot confirm what happened. We only know that she had 5 husbands, and these five either died or divorced her. Whatever the reality, we know that the fact she was living with a sixth man did not make him her husband. Note that the passage says nothing about whether this man was married to another woman or not, since polygamy was not a problem. The issue is that neither she nor he ever formalized or made marriage vows, so she was simply living with him, in the practice of porneia (sexual relationship without a marriage contract), proving that even Jesus recognizes (according to the law) that sex does not make two people husband and wife.

Another proof that the marriage contract is God's law is found in Romans 7:2 ("For the woman who is married to a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives"). Think of it this way: when or where in the Torah is it stated that a woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives? Since everyone expects an unequivocal statement because they interpret God's Law without it itself, they do not understand that this Law is clearly that of Genesis 2. It is the only text in which this marriage contract is specified in the way Paul says it (bound by the law while the husband lives - "one flesh" - cf. Rom 7:3). In 1 Corinthians 7:39 Paul says exactly the same thing.

Note: A compelling comparison would be the Nazirite vow. No one in particular was obligated to take it, but once taken, it had specific laws governing its practice. Doing anything outside of this vow (like cutting one's hair) was a violation of it, resulting in sin (as breaking vows is a sin). Similarly, marriage does not obligate anyone in particular to its practice, but upon making the marriage vow, the limitations of the vow affect you regardless of how you wish the marriage to be. Therefore, it cannot be undone, as by the nature of the marriage law itself, it is for life, limits the number of husbands (to one only), and establishes a relationship of superiority (husband) and inferiority (wife) – yes, call me misogynistic, sexist, or any other adjective coined by experts.

But there is an observation that confirms what we said at the beginning: when Paul explains the law of marriage, he always speaks of the woman (not the man) being bound to the husband (and not the husband to the woman) while he lives. Of course, one thing implies the other in a certain way, however, the form of the argument signals something we leave to address now, although present in Genesis. Notice that in Genesis 2 the text does not say: "a woman shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife"? Why not? Well, because the woman is passive, so she is the one who is bound to the husband, but the husband is not obliged to be bound solely (singularly) to her. Therefore, in Genesis 2 we clearly see that the contract limits everything to one husband, but not to the number of women.

We can explain it another way: God's law (and the New Testament) demonstrates that the woman is singularly bound to the husband, and although this implies the contract on the opposite side as a binding of the parties, it does not mean that both parties have the same rights and duties. Now, this should be clear because we know that, although the contract is one, the man should love the woman, and the woman should submit to the husband (1 Corinthians 7:39; Ephesians 5:22, 25), thus the same contract establishes distinct roles and rights for the parties. Or will you say that God can only have one people? (we are not saying that he has two or three, but if he can have more than one). The people, on the other hand, can only have one God. God's marriage contract with the people implies duties for both parties, but the duties are distinct and consequently the rights. Understand the central point: marriage is a contract, verbal or written, but above all a contract and this contract has two sides, giving distinct powers to the parties, but with an identical binding for both: the indissolubility of marriage.

Note: Numbers 5:11-31 strongly resonates as evidence of this contract, because, for example, the man is the only one in the relationship who can feel jealousy, and this is never attributed to the woman. The marriage contract that God created implies the possibility of jealousy on the part of the man (Numbers 5 only speaks of male jealousy, never female), but never on the part of the woman. This clearly proves that the contract grants distinct rights and duties to both parties.

The Right Over the Flesh of Another – To Use and Be Used – Objectification

When Genesis specifies that both are "one flesh," one of the things being said is: one has control over the flesh of the other. This is different from commanding life in general, something mentioned only in relation to the husband. Let's look at the right of "to use and be used" in Scripture:

The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. (1 Corinthians 7:3-4)

Paul begins by showing that there is a kind of kindness or benevolence associated with marriage that is owed. There is a duty there (so he's not inventing this now). This duty is for the man not to sexually control his own body, nor the woman hers. Therefore, in the marriage covenant, becoming one flesh (until death) means that sexually, they belong to each other. Ironically, by thinking that this is either a novelty or a general principle of the law, we fail to notice that the perfect example of this is the marital life of Jacob.

And she [Rachel] said, "Here is my servant Bilhah; go in to her, so that she may give birth on my behalf, that even I may have children through her." (Genesis 30:3)

When Leah saw that she had stopped bearing children, she took her servant Zilpah and gave her to Jacob as a wife. (Genesis 30:9)

In the evening Jacob came from the field, and Leah went out to meet him and said, "You must come in to me, for I have hired you with my son's mandrakes." So he lay with her that night. (Genesis 30:16)


These Greek ideas (of "objectification") have flooded our current world, saying that men who do with women "whatever they want sexually" are "objectifying" them. Aside from the fact that this means nothing because it's based on the woman's feelings, we see that the general concept contradicts Scripture, which is favorable to "objectification" of both parties (remember that Scripture establishes dowries [payment] for marriage, the financial capability of the man [to the dismay of MGTOW], among other things that we would consider "objectification"). Jacob's case proves this and even proves it from the perspective of women. Jacob did not protest at any of the times they demanded sexual relations from him, or his sexual power. And he did so because he was one flesh with them, and had no right to refuse them. See, this is what Paul has just said in 1 Corinthians 7:

Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (1 Corinthians 7:5)

Was Jacob praying or fasting? If not, then there was no reason to refuse the offers from Leah and Rachel. This means that even if Jacob did not want to, he should fulfill, since his acts do not contradict biblical law, but establish it (as seen in Genesis, even the establishment of the marriage covenant). Men have no obligation to sexually satisfy any other woman outside of the marriage contract, but Jacob had the obligation to satisfy Leah and Rachel (with the concubines) because they were in a marriage contract. Outside the contract, if a woman demands my sexual action, I am not obligated. Within marriage, however, her sexual desire is a command, going against this is to violate the contract. Biblical law establishes this relationship, which is subsequently reinforced by Paul.

Sarah and Abraham go through the same situation, as she demands that Abraham lie with Hagar. Now -- think believers -- Abraham's case was as much a mess as Jacob's, so it cannot be what Paul has in mind. But, in fact, it is precisely what he has in mind, because this is what Genesis 2 establishes: the mutual right over each other's flesh. While this right does not violate the marriage contract (for example, the man making the woman lie with another man), there is nothing to prove that the cases of Jacob and Abraham are not precisely the best practical examples of "the husband and wife do not have authority over their own bodies." Any sexual union without a marriage contract does not obligate either party to have authority over the other's body. However, in marriage, if one party (man or woman) deprives the other of sex, they are defrauding them (1 Corinthians 7:5 - ἀποστερέω [cf. Mark 10:19]). Therefore, Jacob, even if he wanted to, could not refuse the sex demanded by Leah and Rachel in any way. Jacob's mistake was to marry two sisters (Leviticus 18:18) and not to have sex when and with whom they demanded it.

We can see where Paul got the concept of defrauding (ἀποστερέω - ἀποστερεῖτε). It is suggestive that the text of Exodus 21:10 uses, in Greek (in the Septuagint, which was the version known to Greek-speaking Gentile believers), the same word to express what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7:5. Ironically, it is one of those texts that deals with polygamy, and as nowadays everyone is afraid to touch these texts, we lose what the apostle himself in the New Testament said.

Moreover, it is clear that if defrauding is prohibited in a polygamous context, it is also prohibited in a monogamous one -- or you didn't see me using the polygamous texts above? It becomes even more interesting when we notice that the text of Exodus 21:10 carries the concept of "right", that is, it seeks to establish the right of the first wife, showing that the husband not only owes her with goods, but also sexually (perhaps this text is one of the best summaries of the meaning of the marriage contract in the Torah [Pentateuch]). From here comes the concept of servitude in marriage. If you cannot defraud, it is because, in a sense, you are in a situation of servitude -- which is what Paul further develops in 1 Corinthians 7.

This should show us the deep and mysterious role of the marriage contract. And violating it is breaking the covenant. Breaking this contract is usually called "adultery," "infidelity," or "defrauding." We will summarize the first and second terms below (since we just explained the third), proving what adultery and infidelity are:

1 - Sleeping with a young woman engaged to another man (Deuteronomy 22; Genesis 38).

2 - Sleeping with another man's wife (Leviticus 20:10).

3 - Dissolving the marriage contract and remarrying the same woman who has already married and dissolved the contract again (Deuteronomy 24:1-4; Leviticus 18:20; Leviticus 20:10) – we will see this in the chapter on divorce.

4 - Dissolving the marriage contract and remarrying any other woman (Genesis 2:23-25; Malachi 2:15, 16) – we will see this in the text on divorce.

Closing Pratical Points

Without covenant, without contract, there is no hierarchy. God made the world to have hierarchy from the beginning, with the woman being created after the man, signaling this fact (1 Timothy 2:12, 13), and the Fall only aggravated it (1 Timothy 2:14). If the family does not understand the contract it has, the rest of the world will be anarchic, with no obedience to any authority, with constant revolutions and contempt for all elders. The family itself loses value, as it is seen as the result of a mere animalistic union, and not as the treaty of authorities (husband > who seeks the girl's father > becomes a father himself > repeating the cycle). It's ironic to note that families with greater respect and submission among children often are Muslim, because in these families (though deceived by a false prophet), the understanding of the marriage contract still prevails – see if the children do not properly respect their parents in these contexts. The covenant is what maintains hierarchy in the world. God is the God of the covenant. Therefore, man must be a man of the covenant.

DATING

Dating is nothing more than an appendix and can be resolved with a simple reasoning:

1 - Biblical Law does not prohibit anything similar to dating.

2 - Biblical Law presupposes that young men and women eventually have sex without a marriage contract (which could be in dating).

3 - There is only sin if sex in dating is hidden from the man who will marry the woman.

4 - Therefore, dating is not a sin.

We need to explain point 1 better: many say that dating is a sin because it did not exist in biblical times. However, such a thing is an outright lie. Dating with commitment did not exist, but dating did. The understanding of the Law is that relationships without commitment do not fall under God's prohibitions (as we saw in the text on the Law), therefore, it is not appropriate for dating to be prohibited, with our innovation actually being dating with commitment. We know this because men and women have always related without commitment, so the biblical Law sees the need to set limits: if the girl lives with her father, the boy must marry her; if she hides, then she sins when marrying another man (so, there is no sin to marry the same man!). Anyone who reads the text and thinks that these things happened by accident is extremely "innocent."

Finally, Paul's reasoning in Galatians 5 is: against these things there is no law, therefore, we must understand that if there is no law against dating, then there is no sin in this relationship.

The other side of the argument that because it did not exist, it is prohibited simply does not make sense. Even if it were true that dating did not exist, consider the following situation:

The fiat currency without backing did not exist, does this mean that those who use it today sin? Clearly not (and some like Gary North still say that governments sin by issuing fiat currency). Following this same principle, the wedding party with the bride arriving later would be a sin, since in Scripture it is the Groom who arrives later and meets the woman at her parents' house – therefore, all current weddings in the West would be sinful. Sin, as we saw, has to be something prohibited, and God never prohibited anything similar to dating, only imposed limits with one of them resulting in sin if marriage is contracted with another man.

This subject will become clearer throughout the other threads, especially on prostitution.

CONCLUSION

The marriage contract is the central theme of the first marriage;

The Torah testifies that marriage is a contract;

The New Testament reaffirms the understanding of the Torah;

The lack of understanding of this contract destroys the family itself.​
 
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