Negative Repercussions from PM

[NBTX11]

For those of you actually in plural marriages, interested to hear stories about the negative repercussions you faced due to your decision to pursue biblical plural marriage.

For example, how did this affect your status in the church you attended. Did you lose friends and acquaintances. Did you children accept or reject it. Were there any surprises you weren't expecting. Were there positive outcomes you weren't expecting as well, such as people accepting your view that you did not think would.

Details about the fallout from your decision to pursue PM.

I am expecting to lose my church that I have been attending for 20 years. However, I don't expect much difficulty with my immediate family. They are pretty open to what the Bible actually says, and kind of look at me as an authority figure anyways.

 

[rustywest4]

I’ve lost a few things along the way.

 

[NBTX11]

I’ve lost a few things along the way.

Like what?

 

[rustywest4]

Ministry, community, friends, family, children, freedom, career, property, rights, etc etc etc etc etc

 

[NBTX11]

Ministry, community, friends, family, children, freedom, career, property, rights, etc etc etc etc etc

How would you lose your freedom and career? Do employers care what goes on in your home?

 

[frederick]

I was given the left boot with the church I had served as pastor-teacher for 19 years, so lost just about all "Christian" friends. Rejected as a heretic, slandered by "Christian" family members, lost my home (long, long sad story), and some of my kids won't speak to me anymore so haven't seen some of my grandkids. But I won't stand before any of those people when I give an account for my life. I would rather stand for the truth now and have the eternal rewards instead of the temporal stuff here. It's the reality of what Jesus said in Luke 12:51, Do you suppose that I came to give peace on earth? I tell you, not at all, but rather division.

 

[NBTX11]

I was given the left boot with the church I had served as pastor-teacher for 19 years, so lost just about all "Christian" friends. Rejected as a heretic, slandered by "Christian" family members, lost my home (long, long sad story), and some of my kids won't speak to me anymore so haven't seen some of my grandkids. But I won't stand before any of those people when I give an account for my life. I would rather stand for the truth now and have the eternal rewards instead of the temporal stuff here. It's the reality of what Jesus said in Luke 12:51, Do you suppose that I came to give peace on earth? I tell you, not at all, but rather division.

That's a lot of negative things that happened to you. Curious as to why your kids rejected you. Do they simply just refuse to listen to truth. I don't know yet, because it hasn't happened yet, but I am hopefully optimistic that there will be no change between me and my kids. We have a great relationship and they generally believe the Bible word for word and are open to it's teaching. Those are the only 3 relationships I really care about maintaining, plus my grandson, and any other grandkids I have. I don't really have that many friends.

I am anticipating having to quietly leave my church at some point.

Oh and how did you bring up your beliefs to your church before they gave you the left boot of fellowship.

 

[steve]

Same stuff.
Kicked out of church and lost close friends.
Brothers and sisters with attitudes.
Children with attitudes.
Grandchildren that we aren’t allowed to see.
Can’t live openly because of a small business/ministry.

 

[NBTX11]

Same stuff.
Kicked out of church and lost close friends.
Brothers and sisters with attitudes.
Children with attitudes.
Grandchildren that we aren’t allowed to see.
Can’t live openly because of a small business/ministry.

See, the one that puzzles me is family. Completely understand that friends and acquaintances will fall away, and the church will boot you, but I don't understand why family, especially close family (children, parents, maybe sibling) would abandon you.

 

[steve]

34Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. 35For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. 36And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

 

[Joleneakamama]

For example, how did this affect your status in the church you attended.

We haven't attended a church in 24 years. I'm still technically a mormon, but wouldn't care if they kicked me out.

Did you lose friends and acquaintances.

Didn't really have many friends. Acquaintances and neighbors that know have so far been consistent, meaning that the Christians that live behind us that have no real use for us still mind their own business and are indifferent, and the neighbors that come down for our weekly hosting on Saturdays are still coming and friendly.
Family are another story. My sis in law that I felt closest too has told me she's too busy and doesn't want to hear about our life. She has expressed an attitude that my problems aren't hers, and she doesn't want my crying to her.
Her sis told me "I dont agree with that life."

Other sis is sad because there is a baby in our family that didn't come from me. Her hubby, an ordained minister believes this is sin. Here is his message.

"Based on the scriptures I cited, the numbers for marriage ( 1 man and 1 woman ) are the same since the first man and the first woman were created.

Here they are again: Gen 2:24,Matt 19:5, Mark 10:7+8,1 Cor 7:3+4,Eph 5:31"

I told him that Jesus was asked about divorce and those verses were about the permenance of marriage and the leave and cleave process that makes a new family. I also said that to make restrictive laws from descriptive passages was like deciding that since the brownie recioe says it makes an 8 by 8 pan it would be sin to double the recipe.
I also asked him to please reference the law we are breaking.

Waiting now for him to respond.

Did you children accept or reject it.

Our children were raised with it. We came to this understanding when our oldest was 4 years old. He was married last year in march and his sweet wife has also accepted this for our family and believes God had a hand in bringing us together.

Were there any surprises you weren't expecting.

Yes.

Were there positive outcomes you weren't expecting as well, such as people accepting your view that you did not think would.

Yes. Some were so casually accepting I didn't know they knew. The normalcy of those relationships was very appreciated.

 

[frederick]

Curious as to why your kids rejected you. Do they simply just refuse to listen to truth.

For many years I taught monogamy, and then I came to understand the truth. They were already adults, well grounded in error, and some were married.

I don't really have that many friends.

You'll probably have less when you stand for the truth.

Oh and how did you bring up your beliefs to your church before they gave you the left boot of fellowship.

Introduced my new wife.

 

[NBTX11]

Her hubby, an ordained minister believes this is sin. Here is his message.

"Based on the scriptures I cited, the numbers for marriage ( 1 man and 1 woman ) are the same since the first man and the first woman were created.

I wonder what his response is to the fact that God gave multiple wives to some men such as David and Joash, and therefore it couldn't be sin, because God can't sin?

They never really answer this. And never will.

Also, may be worth pointing out that the Greek words for "own" in 1 Cor 7:2 are completely different words with different meanings for "own" husband and "own" wife. I wonder if he even cares about that. Probably not.

 

[frederick]

They never really answer this. And never will.

Because the truth doesn't matter.

 

[NBTX11]

For many years I taught monogamy, and then I came to understand the truth. They were already adults, well grounded in error, and some were married.

I understand that, however, your own children are usually apt to listen to you as their parent, particularly if you have a close relationship and they respect you.

 

[frederick]

I understand that, however, your own children are usually apt to listen to you as their parent, particularly if you have a close relationship and they respect you.

The vicious attacks and evil slander against me by other so-called respectable Christians was sufficient to persuade them. You cannot imagine how bad it is until you've been there! But God never allowed us to be tested beyond what we were able to endure. He is faithful (1 Cor. 10:13).

 

[Joleneakamama]

I wonder what his response is to the fact that God gave multiple wives to some men such as David and Joash, and therefore it couldn't be sin, because God can't sin?

They never really answer this. And never will.

Also, may be worth pointing out that the Greek words for "own" in 1 Cor 7:2 are completely different words with different meanings for "own" husband and "own" wife. I wonder if he even cares about that. Probably not.

We are aware of those. Studied this for many years. Talked about it too. Family had lots of time to show us their understanding....and debate it. They didn't want to. Now they have to decide how to handle the reality.....and what or if to tell their kids about the cute little cousin!

 

[steve]

I understand that, however, your own children are usually apt to listen to you as their parent, particularly if you have a close relationship and they respect you.

How old are your children?

 

[steve]

See, the one that puzzles me is family. Completely understand that friends and acquaintances will fall away, and the church will boot you, but I don't understand why family, especially close family (children, parents, maybe sibling) would abandon you.

Try teaching your family that patriarchy is the only legitimate family structure, you will lose a lot of them before you ever get to polygyny.

 

[PeteR]

I also said that to make restrictive laws from descriptive passages was like deciding that since the brownie recioe says it makes an 8 by 8 pan it would be sin to double the recipe.

Brilliant! I love this!